strutter06 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Greetings[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]My[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]name is Steve [/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]and I have been friends for six years with a woman named Lisa.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]We have never really dated but we were always good friends.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]We go to the same church, we are about the same age, and alot of people had suggested over the years that I pursue something with her. I had other relationships and so did she, but we always remained friends through it all.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Back in August 2012, I accepted a two year contract to work in Kenya but we did stay in touch. I did most of the calling but I didn't mind. I even had girlfriends while overseas as well. In June of 2013, I was allowed to return to the states for two months. When I told Lisa, she said that she was excited and couldn't wait. [/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]During this time we did hang out but mainly as friends. In August of 2013, I returned to Africa to finish my contract.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Over the course of the year, we kept in touch but it was almost always me initiating everything. Even though I did have several girlfriends [/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]in Kenya, it was more because I was lonely and[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]they were available, but I never forgot Lisa...as strange as this may sound, being away from Lisa really made me fall for her. However, my workplace offered me a substantial raise if I agreed to return a third year and I really needed the money and experience so I accepted. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]When I returned to America, I expected Lisa to be happy to see me like the previous year but she just[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]seemed to be off in her own world, I dont know if it has anything to do with me.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]We hung out a few days after I got back and I took her out to a blues club and she seemed to enjoy herself.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]We went out again a few nights later to a nice Italian place and we stayed there and chatted till closing time. I spent the night at her place but I slept in a different room.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]I went out with her again a few days ago and she told me she was clearly feeling a bit down. She began to complain about a few random things like fireworks being too loud, and also a comedian on tv that I found funny and she didnt. After awhile I told her I had to leave but I would call her soon.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]She texted me late that night thanking me for coming over.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Yesterday, after leaving a message, she called me back around 10 pm and I told her I was going to come over and cook dinner for her today. She seemed to like the idea so we arranged for me to come over at 5 pm.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]She then called me around noon to tell me she was feeling really tired and that she wasn't up to it. I asked her if everything was okay and she said it was. I told her that we would talk later.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I am wondering what I should do here.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]I felt kind of bad that she flaked out on me. She has been known to be a bit of an introvert at times and she was complaining about alot of stuff the other night. I don't think that any of this is really my fault, but how should I handle it? This is someone I have known for a long time, but I only a few months ago I began to really develop feelings for.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]I would like to eventually tell her how I feel about her, but I don't to overwhelm her either.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]I leave to go overseas at the end of August but I will be back for Christmas and then I set out again until June and then I am done.[/sIZE][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][sIZE=3]Any advice here?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Thanks[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Steve[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
fifipheebs Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 hi steve. i dont think lisa was flaking out on you. from what i read, its clear she sees you as a friend as this is how you've been behaving towards her. have you ever tried to be romantic to her? you getting upset with this "thing" not moving forward has to do your expectations of how you want things to proceed and how you feel they should proceed. the ball is in your court. you can advance it, or keep it stalemate. up to you. fate is in your hands. why not try telling her how you feel about her. that you care about her more than just a friend and you would like to explore the possibility of being girlfriend-boyfriend. you have nothing to lose. man up. i wish the guy i've been friends with for X amount of years would man-up. He's missed the boat now.
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