Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) So as some of you know I was in a 5 year relationship and am now 1 year and 5 months abouts* (hard to remember keeping track is starting to not be my concern) As you know I met a guy I really liked this past weekend so much so that I dropped my wall and dove in even tho im so not the type....even if its a summer fling I find it worth the experience and how happy its making me.... GUESS WHO CONTACTS ME now that ive slept with someone else as if MAGIC like they can tell ive moved on after a year of NC!!!! THE EX!!! And what does he say?? "I cant stop thinking about your body and gorgeous face" oh hell nooooooooooooo!!!!!! THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME AFTER A YEAR OF NC AND MY TOTAL HEARTBREAK??? I replied with "Okay thanks" Ladies take it from me....this right here is what everyone is speaking about...no sorry...no I miss you's.....nothing! He is fishing for an ego boost or sexual attention or something like that. He doesn't care about me at all I refuse to be sucked in! (Ps I prob posted this in the wrong section sorry but this is my favorite section right now so it didn't come to mind when I posted) Edited July 7, 2014 by Omei 11
Zahara Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME AFTER A YEAR OF NC AND MY TOTAL HEARTBREAK??? Then why did you reply... and with "okay thanks." Edited July 7, 2014 by Zahara
Author Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 Out of curiousity... why did you reply at all? Because I always wanted him to be the one to contact me in the future out of all the times I tried to get him back, begged and pleaded and cried while he rejected me over and over. I healed when I went full no contact like everyone who gos through a breakup they only wish their ex would look for them it felt so good to give that small reply of ok what-everness you know. People want their chance....I got mine and I nailed it! it was like my revenge "im okay without you" I feel amazing !!! 2
Smilecharmer Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 If you feel amazing, you probably tie too much of your self worth into the people you date. Might want to read about codependency. Glad you didn't give in and get back with him. You broke up for a reason. 1
Author Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 If you feel amazing, you probably tie too much of your self worth into the people you date. Might want to read about codependency. Glad you didn't give in and get back with him. You broke up for a reason. I was very co dependant the majorly in the fact at the time he was everything my friend and lover the only person I had to hang out with.... I have worked on myself a ton I have like 5 friends now were as a year ago I had none and I have been going out, working out, having fun enjoying my single life I do not need a boyfriend to be happy. I didn't get back with him because nothing of the sort was even mentioned nor would I anyway. I don't think what I did or said in my reply was anything but normal and did what many wish they could do! 3
Versacehottie Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I think "ok, thanks" is hilarious and fitting. 9
DArtagnan2 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 people have their own opinions of what they feel should or shouldn't be done. Just like you, you felt this is and was your chance to do what you felt needed to be done. So there is no need to defend your actions, especially to someone on the internet who may or may not know what they would do if they found them self in the same situation. I remember when the last girl I dated sent me an apology by text one late night after the guy she was seeing blew her off. I wanted that apology from her and I got it. I really didn't know what to say as I am not a mean or vengeful guy so I just said "thanks for what you wrote and what you said. I appreciate it." She was looking for something else it appears because she turned right around and continued her nasty behavior, rumors and lies to others about me. I know he didn't apologize or say some of the things you wanted to hear, his message to you was purely for his own gratification, so you did right by your standards and feel good about it. I am glad it did get you to that point for you.
Zahara Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Because I always wanted him to be the one to contact me in the future out of all the times I tried to get him back, begged and pleaded and cried while he rejected me over and over. I healed when I went full no contact like everyone who gos through a breakup they only wish their ex would look for them it felt so good to give that small reply of ok what-everness you know. People want their chance....I got mine and I nailed it! it was like my revenge "im okay without you" I feel amazing !!! I'm sure scumbag is going to reach out again. Someone that has the balls to text you in that manner after so long will have the balls to keep trying to see if he can get you to change your tone -- seeing he got a response from you. Don't engage him anymore. If that helped you get your power back, then let it end there. 1
RonaldS Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I would have replied with 'OK, thanks. Who is this?'. 13
Author Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 people have their own opinions of what they feel should or shouldn't be done. Just like you, you felt this is and was your chance to do what you felt needed to be done. So there is no need to defend your actions, especially to someone on the internet who may or may not know what they would do if they found them self in the same situation. I remember when the last girl I dated sent me an apology by text one late night after the guy she was seeing blew her off. I wanted that apology from her and I got it. I really didn't know what to say as I am not a mean or vengeful guy so I just said "thanks for what you wrote and what you said. I appreciate it." She was looking for something else it appears because she turned right around and continued her nasty behavior, rumors and lies to others about me. I know he didn't apologize or say some of the things you wanted to hear, his message to you was purely for his own gratification, so you did right by your standards and feel good about it. I am glad it did get you to that point for you. Thank you, one of my biggest character flaws is defending my actions even to strangers it's just bleh idk lol thanks. @Diezel nothing will happen likely if he did send something else I assume it would be sexual again just him thinking about what he wants nothing about me and I wouldn't reply again to that
Author Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 I would have replied with 'OK, thanks. Who is this?'. Haha that's funny but with how crushed I was in our breakup since I was the one dumped knowing him I don't think he would of believed that for 1 second plus he was a really smart guy he would reply with something like "My names at the top of the email" im sure
Diezel Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I'd say, prepare yourself mentally for the fact that he will contact you again, probably as soon as you are done engaging in coitus with the new man lol
Author Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 I'd say, prepare yourself mentally for the fact that he will contact you again, probably as soon as you are done engaging in coitus with the new man lol I am sure I will get a reply and I have LS to remind me that it's all BS and not to get sucked in and hurt I see the daily posts of disappointment. we have been in no contact for over a year I posted this because this passed Friday I did move on with the new man it's funny how they say as soon as you move on ex's sometimes come back as if they magically can sense they are no longer in your head. I thought it would make a great post
Smilecharmer Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I was very co dependant the majorly in the fact at the time he was everything my friend and lover the only person I had to hang out with.... I have worked on myself a ton I have like 5 friends now were as a year ago I had none and I have been going out, working out, having fun enjoying my single life I do not need a boyfriend to be happy. I didn't get back with him because nothing of the sort was even mentioned nor would I anyway. I don't think what I did or said in my reply was anything but normal and did what many wish they could do! I think you did great btw. I was just referring to that point where indifference means you are over someone. Indifference doesn't connotate amazing feelings that they contacted you. 1
Gaeta Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Well done !!! I am embarrassed to say I fell for that obvious one more than once! When I stopped reacting to 'I am thinking of your beautiful body' he started the 'I miss you so bad' so don't fall for those ones when they come! 2
ascendotum Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 "I cant stop thinking about your body and gorgeous face" = "I miss you" for a guy.
Tressugar Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 That is common behavior for men. The minute you move on, the minute your ex comes knocking. Every guy I dated came back when I had moved on.
Elle1975 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I am sure I will get a reply and I have LS to remind me that it's all BS and not to get sucked in and hurt I see the daily posts of disappointment. we have been in no contact for over a year I posted this because this passed Friday I did move on with the new man it's funny how they say as soon as you move on ex's sometimes come back as if they magically can sense they are no longer in your head. I thought it would make a great post Don't reply to his next message. You nailed it the first time, now leave it alone. 3
Zippy2000 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Strange isnt it., This also happened to me. The people who you once cared always come back. Ok, some may not. However I believe they come back once their own options have run out or they are just curious you still like them. After all we all crave a bit of attention. I d always be careful why they come back or for what reason depending how the break up was
Gaeta Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I have an ex who always comes back strongly at the moment he hears I am dating someone. When I am single he just randomly says hello once in a while but if I date someone, OMG we're meant to be together and he loves me blahblahblah
Treasa Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I would have replied with 'OK, thanks. Who is this?'. Ahahahaha!! This one wins. 1
Author Omei Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 "I cant stop thinking about your body and gorgeous face" = "I miss you" for a guy. To me that means "I miss having sex with you" No where in the email he speaks of me on a level of missing. 2
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