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relationship ended found out I was pregnant... !!!


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Posted

Doesn't anyone support birth control anymore???

  • Like 1
Posted

You can't take his account into this if he is not in your life with the exception of filing for child support if you intend to keep the child.

 

How is the guy not in her life? If she keeps the baby then he will be part of her life forever; there will be a permanent connection to this jerk. Your way of thinking is why there are so many broken families and children that grow up without a dad, and why there are so many unhappy single moms that have a permanent connection to a guy they hate. I feel sorry for the guys though, we never sign up for this.

 

I jist want the nasty emails to stop.
Get in touch with his mom or dad, you should have already done this.

 

Before you abort think about adoption. There are hundred of childless couples who would love to adopt a baby.

So you think she should have a baby just to give it away? Huh?

 

No, the only reason why abortion is "easy" is because the women don't get confronted with their babies, or what is left of them.

I informed myself a lot about abortion before making my own opinion, and at one point I found pictures of remnants. Little arms, with fingers. Little heads, with dark emptiness where their eyes would be had they lived.

 

I'm not really the emotional type and don't even twitch at stuff like Titanic, but those photos are branded into my mind. I wonder if abortions could have been prevented if those women had looked at them, just for a second.

Have you ever had an abortion? I've had 2 abortions with exs and they both said that the whole time they constantly ask you again and again if you want to do this. They try to put you off from going through with it and do the whole "little arms, little fingers" thing, and almost convince you to not abort. It might be quick but it certainly isn't easy, maybe it's different based on location.

 

There are many people that cry for anti-abortion, but you can be certain that they will never help you out with the baby. Yes getting an abortion might be a horrible event but if you can get through it then it's worth it. I remember my ex's family all shouting at me, even their dog barking, blah blah but I just said to myself that this might be hell for the next few days but going through the pain is much better than ****ing your whole life up because of a baby you don't want.

  • Like 1
Posted
Doesn't anyone support birth control anymore???

 

You can still get pregnant on birth control, I did it's not 100% impossible

 

condom's break

pills forgotten

 

etc

 

 

So far I found the best birth control is by needle injection.

  • Like 1
Posted
Hi Carrie.I am 27 years old.I dont believe in abortion but I am highly contemplating one.I dunno what talking to his mom would do I just need comforting im a emotional wreck right now.I jist want the nasty emails to stop.its nothing positive and its all a bout the relationship that is now over.they are pointless.weve had many off and on times in our relationship this isnt our first breakup either but im permanently done.

 

Have an abortion. If you dont your setting yourself and the kid for 18 years of hell dealing with this guy.

Posted
Hi Carrie.I am 27 years old.I dont believe in abortion but I am highly contemplating one.I dunno what talking to his mom would do I just need comforting im a emotional wreck right now.I jist want the nasty emails to stop.its nothing positive and its all a bout the relationship that is now over.they are pointless.weve had many off and on times in our relationship this isnt our first breakup either but im permanently done.

 

BLOCK his emails if you don't want any more to do with him! Or change it...

Posted

I think we need to focus back on the OP and what she's going through, not turn this into a debate about abortion.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

I appreciate all the replies...I am against abortion because my mother almost aborted me as well.I cry sometimes because the thought of killing a baby hurts me I love children but raising another child alone and financially supporting one on my own scares me yall...im scared and frustrated and hurt Im just a mess.I always wanted a son I wonder sometimes if this is my son you know...im crying right now writing this but im gonna pray...I believe in God he will see me through.thanks everyone yall are great!

  • Like 3
Posted

Yes see a secular, nonpartisan pregnancy counselor to discuss options etc.

 

I also reccommend consulting a family law attorney. The bio father may be a POS and you may not want to have a relationship with him and he definately doesn't sound like father material but he will still have parental rights if the baby is brought to term.

 

In the eyes of the law he is still the father and still has parental rights unless he is either deemed unfit by the courts or he voluntarily signs away his parental rights.

 

You will need legal representation to navigate through those waters. Just because he's an ass and you don't like him doesn't mean squat to the courts. If he is in fact the biological father, in the eyes of the law he will have parental rights to the child unless terminated by the court or relinquished by himself.

 

Then there is the whole issue of child support. Generally speaking, if someone has to pay support, they will have some form of access to the child and even paternal grandparents can petition for access even if their son is a crud.

 

This is very messy. Legal counsel is a must.

  • Author
Posted

Actually I just lost a baby bt this same man in march and I was on birth control.I was on antibiotics for a UTI and got pregnant that week so yea it is possible:)

Posted

I can only imagine how hard this is for you and my heart goes out to you. It's easy for people to pass judgement on people but a lot harder to walk in their shoes. I just hope you do some serious soul searching before reaching your decision, but don't wait too long. How far along are you??

  • Author
Posted

Im 6 weeks...

Posted

Please don't hurt the child,please stop thinking of him and concentrate on the baby,there are hundreds of support groups for women like you please google some of them and stop worrying about him,put your full focus on your son or daughter.

 

Hi Carrie.I am 27 years old.I dont believe in abortion but I am highly contemplating one.I dunno what talking to his mom would do I just need comforting im a emotional wreck right now.I jist want the nasty emails to stop.its nothing positive and its all a bout the relationship that is now over.they are pointless.weve had many off and on times in our relationship this isnt our first breakup either but im permanently done.
Posted (edited)

If you are lucky maybe he will bail because he has no interest in fatherhood like my abusive ex did, I dont even collect child support or chased for it I want my ex to have no reason to re-enter our lives I know some people would find it shocking but think about it what's more valuable money? Or the safety of your child.

 

I know you're scared and stressed and yes you are right being a single parent is hard but there is some light there are various various programs and steps you can take as a single mother things that become available to you to help if you have a good family hopefully you will gain their support one of the reasons I kept mine was because they made it clear they were going to be there every step of the way hopefully you have this too, it may seem dark now but it would get easier if this was the path you pick.

 

/hug its okay to cry its good it means you care it means you worry and that you are taking this huge life choice seriously.

Edited by Omei
Posted
You can still get pregnant on birth control, I did it's not 100% impossible

 

condom's break

pills forgotten

 

etc

 

 

So far I found the best birth control is by needle injection.

 

The majority who do is from neglect to use or use properly.

 

- condoms should always be used with a spermicidal cream or foam....I bet money none of you use this precaution.

 

Condom breaks? use plan B

 

Miss a pill? use another method.

 

Me, 25 years of responsible birth control, never got pregnant.

 

Stupidly neglected to use birth control properly at 17, I got pregnant.

Posted

Please consider other option besides abortion. I only say this because you stated you are against it and this will definitely cause emotional turmoil for you down the road.

  • Like 1
Posted
No, the only reason why abortion is "easy" is because the women don't get confronted with their babies, or what is left of them.

 

 

No abortion is easy for some women because they know that an unplanned pregnancy would be too hard for them and would possibly destroy their life. I had an unplanned pregnancy and had an abortion around 5 years ago. I do not regret it. I am still 100% confident that I made the right choice.

 

Although in regards to the OP I do not think abortion would be good for her since she said she is against abortion. I think she would be one of the women who regrets it.

  • Like 1
Posted
Doesn't anyone support birth control anymore???

 

If I look at the annual numbers of abortions, I get the impression they aren't being used anyway.

Posted

It is poverty to decide a child must die,so that you may live as you wish

 

 

No abortion is easy for some women because they know that an unplanned pregnancy would be too hard for them and would possibly destroy their life. I had an unplanned pregnancy and had an abortion around 5 years ago. I do not regret it. I am still 100% confident that I made the right choice.

 

Although in regards to the OP I do not think abortion would be good for her since she said she is against abortion. I think she would be one of the women who regrets it.

Posted (edited)

I don't think you end a pregnancy just because you feel confused

 

We don't end someone or something 's chance of living on this earth just because we are mad of his dad or confused..

 

 

There are other options like giving the baby for adoptions, there are thousands families who want your baby if you don't want it...

 

If you feel you really don't want a baby, think again and again and again...

 

If you are confused now, you might be more confused after you abort the baby...

 

It's not your ex problem now...

 

this baby is on you, you have to think of him as a baby or unborn or a chance ...

 

not as a reminder of another person..

he is yours

 

 

You can make him or it a decent human being, by raising him right

or you can make him or it a gift to another people who want it..

 

or you can keep it or him and resent him for all your life because he was your ex son or daughter..

 

or you can just end his chance to live on this earth..and you might feel awful after doing that or just alright ..

 

 

4 choices ....You don't have a lot of choices really ..But what ever you choose, don't do it out of hate ..

 

Do it out of love and after a long time of thinking

Edited by Noproblem
Posted

1) Block contact with him. There clearly is no point of reconciliation with such a douchebag, and as you have a precious few weeks to decide what you want to do re: the pregnancy, you don't want his opinions affecting your decision.

 

2) If you want support, don't talk to his mom. Talk to a neutral 3rd party. AFAIK there are counselors in family planning clinics for this reason. Be sure to go to a neutral one, not a religious/biased one.

 

3) After doing #1 and #2 and spending some time by yourself thinking about the decision YOU want to make based on your own personal beliefs and taking your future (and that of the potential child's) into consideration, go ahead and do just that. Don't let anyone else tell you what you 'should' do, be it to birth the baby or to abort. This needs to be your own decision and yours alone, for it will impact the rest of your life.

  • Author
Posted

Well guys I made the decision to keep the baby...im crying because I know its gonna be hard but thay child may have a purpose in this world.I will find a man to be there to take care of both my children and love them.as far as my ex goes **** him.im gonna go back to get my masters so I can get a good paying job and provide the best life for them both.I cant kill my child I dont have the heart to.

  • Like 3
Posted

 

im gonna go back to get my masters so I can get a good paying job and provide

the best life for them both.I cant kill my child I dont have the heart to.

 

This is the best option rather than finding a man to take care of them. Good luck to you and your children and you are right to rely on God. Block the emails from this abusive ex but make sure he pays child support.

Posted

You can do it! If you have a good support of family and friends too, it will be okay. I have two girls from a bad ex, and I was able to support them by myself with the help of my loving friends and family. I couldn't imagine not having my two daughters. They mean the world to me. I met a man too who was able to stand as their dad. Granted our relationship didn't work out, he was still able to maintain his relationship with my kids. It was tough but everything worked out well.

Posted
It is poverty to decide a child must die,so that you may live as you wish

 

 

That is your choice and the great thing is your are welcome to have it and I can disagree with you.

 

Although it seems the OP made her choice and I think she made the right one for her and I am glad.

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm so happy you made this choice,you can contact me anytime if you need emotional support

 

Well guys I made the decision to keep the baby...im crying because I know its gonna be hard but thay child may have a purpose in this world.I will find a man to be there to take care of both my children and love them.as far as my ex goes **** him.im gonna go back to get my masters so I can get a good paying job and provide the best life for them both.I cant kill my child I dont have the heart to.
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