Isthereanybodythere Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Just found out I was unblocked after I unblocked her after 2 months NC. I have no intention of messaging her, I am the dumpee but I would like to speak to her and would like an apology for the way I was treated before her breaking up with me by text after almost 2 years of being together. It probably means nothing that she unblocked me on facebook but I'm curious, really curious as to why? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Just found out I was unblocked after I unblocked her after 2 months NC. I have no intention of messaging her, I am the dumpee but I would like to speak to her and would like an apology for the way I was treated before her breaking up with me by text after almost 2 years of being together. It probably means nothing that she unblocked me on facebook but I'm curious, really curious as to why? You feel entitled to an apology? Quit that. What's the point of forcing someone to extend an apology when they're not doing it from their own sense of self-reflection and remorsefulness? And did she cheat? If so, who cares if she's creeping on your FB? Does it change anything for you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isthereanybodythere Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Yeah she did cheat, I had blocked all the people associated with her, Friends and family so not even I would be tempted to look. Her best friend at the time even blocked me but unblocked sometime ago so I'm asking questions and honestly I am really over thinking because, deep down I'm still hurt and I have feelings for her because she was my first love, I'm only 20 by the way, I looked at the guy she cheated on me with and there's nothing on there with them being together or anything, just 2 photos of him in her room.. All the stuff I got her are still there too. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Every once in a long while, and only when I'm feeling particularly stable and non nutritionally depleted I will unblock my ex to check and see that surprise surprise, (ha!) my ex still hasn't messaged me or sent a friend request. Keeps me grounded and gives me a nice reminder that there is absolutely no hope. And at this point, as long as my electrolytes and vitamin levels are good when I do it, it doesn't bother me particularly or throw me for any emotional loops. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isthereanybodythere Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 That is all true Anya, She's been unblocked for the best part of 2 days and she lives on Facebook, so I guess the hope is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 That is all true Anya, She's been unblocked for the best part of 2 days and she lives on Facebook, so I guess the hope is gone. Your feelings are speaking. Honestly, step outside of your emotions for a minute. Would you actually want to go back to someone that cheated on you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Don't read into her unblocking you on facebook. It means nothing. I hate facebook. I dated a guy who wasn't on facebook and didn't care to be and I swear to God our RS lasted longer because of it. People get crazy over facebook (myself included.) A couple of months ago I saw that my ex made his profile pic of him and his new girlfriend and I freaking balled my eyes out. Lessoned learned! I would have never seen that had I kept him blocked like he was but I foolishly unblocked him when he and I were on "good terms" ya, then like 2 months later (or less I don't remember) I see that. For some reason when he's unblocked he's automatically on my favorites list...??? I tried to fix that but could never figure out how to get him off of there. It means that you see their profile picture on YOUR page. Ya, you don't have to go look them up. You just see it there all the time. Stupid. Anyway, back to being blocked he went! For good this time. STOP LOOKING AT YOUR EX'S SOCIAL MEDIA! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lop98 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) Piece of advice from someone that came here in pieces last year and healed: if you really want to heal and your chances with this person are next to none (no trust no chances, as simple as that) and you can't stop yourself from unblocking, either fully remove that person or better yet: remove or block yourself. Meaning: quit that social network. It will not be the end of the world, but it may likely be the end of your source of pain and tension until you finally move on. Good luck. Edited July 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language and C&R 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Every once in a long while, and only when I'm feeling particularly stable and non nutritionally depleted I will unblock my ex to check and see that surprise surprise, (ha!) my ex still hasn't messaged me or sent a friend request. Assuming we're talking about FaceBook here, someone who's blocked cannot send a friend request nor a message to a blocker. It's as if the blocker doesn't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Assuming we're talking about FaceBook here, someone who's blocked cannot send a friend request nor a message to a blocker. It's as if the blocker doesn't exist. It makes you leave it for 48 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isthereanybodythere Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Your feelings are speaking. Honestly, step outside of your emotions for a minute. Would you actually want to go back to someone that cheated on you? Absolutely not. I can't even stand the thought. Now call me stupid but I honestly just miss having someone to talk to and get on well with. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) I certainly agree that in most cases and most instances, keeping up staunch NC is a good idea. And I would definitely encourage the author to stop checking his ex's social media and to continue with the blocking until more healing has occurred. Edited July 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted post redacted Link to post Share on other sites
furby58 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 It doesnt mean anything ..and if anything i took that opportunity to block him off my facebook when he unblocked me . Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Absolutely not. I can't even stand the thought. Now call me stupid but I honestly just miss having someone to talk to and get on well with. p.s.--Of course you'e not stupid. I think all of us miss that in the wake of a break up. And it is a good sign for you that you don't want to get back with someone who cheated on you. If it is less missing her, and more missing someone, do you think you might be ready to start dating again? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Just found out I was unblocked after I unblocked her after 2 months NC. I have no intention of messaging her, I am the dumpee but I would like to speak to her and would like an apology for the way I was treated before her breaking up with me by text after almost 2 years of being together. It probably means nothing that she unblocked me on facebook but I'm curious, really curious as to why? Hurt + vulnerable = CAUTION! She cheated on you. She dumped you. She blocked you. Who cares about all the rest?! The writing is on the wall with this chick and it's clear as crystal even if you can't see it. You don't need an apology, you need to STOP cyber stalking her for heaven's sake and DELETE her name and contact info from everything! Simple. Let the healing begin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) I would not normally recommend checking social media or breaking NC. I chose to include the specific reasons that I do it which are individual to me. I was trying, in my own way, to let the OP know that the reasons for the unblocking probably had more to do with her and less to do with him or wanting to get back with him. OP, for your own sake, re-institute NC please, and for the time being, instead off thinking too much about the wherefores of the FB choice, perhaps go find something that you find deeply engrossing and go get deeply engrossed. :-) Edited July 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Discussion of moderation redacted Link to post Share on other sites
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