scarface Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Gaw! I'm so confused! I asked this girl on a date. Much to my pleasure, she agreed and we set it up. Four hours later, she calls and says that she doesn't have the money to go to a movie. I was like "ummm ... I am going to pay for it," and it's back on. When I show up and see her, she is acting like we are just hanging out as friends. I'm thinking to myself ... "Huh?!" So, we talk a little and then decide to go see a movie. I let her pick and we see it. Good movie, but she is totally into the movie. She won't even look at me ... another reason why I'm confused! I mean, it was a good movie and all, but seriously, her eyes were GLUED to that screen. After the movie, she says that she wants ice cream, so we walk over to the ice cream shop and I'm about to pay and then she was like "Oh no, I'll pay." She pays the guy ... cool, I didn't have to pay . We start talking and she starts talkin' about her ex and how he is still hung up on her and how she kinda misses him too. WTF! You don't talk about that on a date ... so right then, I figured that she didn't even consider this a date. Then, she goes flip-flopping again and starts wide-eye'ing me and says that she really needs another guy. I am utterly confused at this point. Nothin' happens ... I'm too confused to know what to think. Then her ex calls her right there in the ice cream shop and instead of not answering (like a normal person would do,) she answers and gets all pissy that he hangs up on her. I tell her that the shop is about to close and we should get going, walk her to her car, and go home ... Please ... someone decrypt this!?! I am going to ask her if she wants to watch Saw at her place tonight after i get off work and maybe talk to her then and try to understand what she is thinking, because I DO NOT want to pursue a relationship that just isn't there. Been there, done that, it hurts worse than direct rejection, if you know what I mean. --Confused.
WalkingTall Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 The best thing to do is give it another try.... everyone has a bad day. You will confirm what you are thinking or it may turn around 180. She may have realised what she did if she thought of it as more than a friends night out. Give it a chance and talk it out. Assuming only makes matters worse. You will lose nothing by asking her, you may just save yourself lots of heartache, or connect even more!
Curt Posted February 19, 2005 Moderators Posted February 19, 2005 It's actually fairly simple, IMHO. She appears to be more than a little torn/confused/aloof. A. She doesn't know who or what she wants, and/or; B. Is somewhat lukewarm. Cool it off ... watch a movie with someone else tonight. Let her decide where her head is. Never put up with "lukewarm people." Curt
scarface Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Originally posted by Curt It's actually fairly simple, IMHO. She appears to be more than a little torn/confused/aloof. A. She doesn't know who or what she wants, and/or; B. Is somewhat lukewarm. Cool it off ... watch a movie with someone else tonight. Let her decide where her head is. Never put up with "lukewarm people." Curt lukewarm people...isn't ambiant body tempurature 98.6 degrees farenhight? i call that lukewarm j/k...anyways yeah i think i am going to ask her to watch a movie tonight and see where that goes because i really like her and if not where i want it to...or nowhere...i have a copule other options thx for the advice anyway
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 I'm going with the 'lukewarm' option. She's interested, but her interest is only slightly, if at all romantic. Hint One: she calls and says that she doesn't have the money to go to a movie I'm about to pay and then she was like "Oh no, I'll pay. She is making a half-hearted attempt to let you know that she's more interested in 'friendship' and 'companionship' than she is 'romance'. Friends pay their own way, a romantic date is an assumption that the guy is going to pay. Hint Two: she is acting like we are just hanging out as friends She is laying the 'friend' groundwork and boundaries - she doesn't want to run you off, but she isn't looking for romance either. Hint Three: Good movie, but she is totally into the movie. She won't even look at me ... She's making it pretty clear that the point to this night out is the 'movie', not the 'date'. No different than seeing a movie with any other friend. Hint Four: We start talking and she starts talkin' about her ex and how he is still hung up on her and how she kinda misses him too. Then her ex calls her right there in the ice cream shop and instead of not answering (like a normal person would do,) she answers and gets all pissy that he hangs up on her. She's talking to you about it like she would any other friend. The fact that she took the call, and reacted emotionally about it in front of you is something she would do with any other friend. Basically, agreeing to a date and dating someone are two different things. She accepted your date, and made it a 'friendship' date - her words and actions could not have been more clear. Unless you are willing to just hang out and be the "friend guy" then you are going to want to be very up front with her about what it is you want. I fully expect your answer will be "I'm not ready for a relationship right now, I have a lot on my mind... blah, blah, blah." You won't know though until you come right out and let her know what you want and whether or not its a possibility.
scarface Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 great reply lucrezia...great name too...i did a report on her back in high school...the slutty popes daughter right?
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Originally posted by scarface the slutty popes daughter right? According to the latter-day version of the tabloids, yes. Quite a many interesting legends about that lady!
scarface Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia According to the latter-day version of the tabloids, yes. Quite a many interesting legends about that lady! well i used my history book...lol...maybe they are teaching me crap in skool school was misspelled deliberately i don't know how to spell deliberately
tanbark813 Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 I agree with LB, she wants you as just a friend. Also, don't do movie dates until you're well into dating or a relationship. Movie dates at the beginning suck because there is no interaction.
Other Man Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Seems to me your not the only one confused, she's confused too and looking for a rebound guy (you) but still wants her ex, my best advice is not to get involved with this chick, looks like trouble ahead.
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