How should we react?

[gettingstronger]

For those that don't know our backstory here it is in a nut shell-

18 months from DDay, our OW intrudes pretty regularly-its been hell- not sure whats going on in her world but it appears to be nothing but crazy making-

 

I got an email from her husband saying she is in intensive care and he was worried she may not make it- he asked that if I posted some negative things about her on a cheaters site would I please take them down so if their kids google her they won't see them-

 

I responded that it was not me that posted such nonsense and wished him well-the end-

 

He has emailed me several times since with updates and pleas to take down the negative online postings- I responded one more time nicely but have stopped responding-

 

I have a strong suspicion its him that posted those things and he is providing cover for that- I also doubt she is in the hospital- in short-I have no idea whats going on but am fairly certain that he is full of it and up to something bigger-

 

Should I continue to ignore or should I send a strong email telling him to go away- or.....what?

 

I have a hard time dealing with crazy-

[spookysonata]

Document his attempts to contact you, and have an attorney send them both a cease and desist letter (maybe it's her pretending to be him). Make it clear you will press charges if they don't leave you alone.

 

Then if they continue to contact you, follow through.

[gettingstronger]

We have a C&D against her-it just made her go underground and contact us anon which believe it or not is easy to do and hard to prove-

You are right- I should do the same with him as well-

It all seems so futile and its frustrating that if people want to harass you they can in this digital age-

[spookysonata]

We have a C&D against her-it just made her go underground and contact us anon which believe it or not is easy to do and hard to prove-

You are right- I should do the same with him as well-

It all seems so futile and its frustrating that if people want to harass you they can in this digital age-

 

What happened when you went to press charges on her for violating the c&d?

[gettingstronger]

I could not prove it was her since it was blocked calls and anon texts- I mean it makes sense it was but there was no "proof"- so since she is willing to deal with the hassle of being questioned, it continues-sometimes I feel like reacting feeds the crazy-

[spookysonata]

I could not prove it was her since it was blocked calls and anon texts- I mean it makes sense it was but there was no "proof"- so since she is willing to deal with the hassle of being questioned, it continues-sometimes I feel like reacting feeds the crazy-

 

That's a bummer. How about changing all contact info? And ask your attorney if there's anything else legal you can do.

[gettingstronger]

I am a teacher so my email address is always public if you know where I work, etc...

 

Its a mess and one of the many reasons I am so hard line now about affairs- people have no idea what they are dealing with and what the end result will be- my husband is 100% responsible for bringing this in to my life- he feels horrible about it, but thats hindsight right?

 

People do need to think of what they are potentially bringing in to their spouses life when they make such a selfish choice

 

(gets down off soap box)

[bosunmate]

I am a teacher so my email address is always public if you know where I work, etc...

 

Its a mess and one of the many reasons I am so hard line now about affairs- people have no idea what they are dealing with and what the end result will be- my husband is 100% responsible for bringing this in to my life- he feels horrible about it, but thats hindsight right?

 

People do need to think of what they are potentially bringing in to their spouses life when they make such a selfish choice

 

(gets down off soap box)

 

 

 

 

 

Very well said and I'm sorry your going thru this. Its a good lesson for anyone thinking about cheating. I hope things work out for you and hubby...

[whatatangledweb]

Are you sure it is him and not her? I would ignore him. If it continues for more than a week or so then I would do a C&D on him also.

[HermioneG]

I would have to ask- how do you know it is her husband?

 

Is it possible it is her?

[HermioneG]

Or what a Tangled said.

[Owl]

I could not prove it was her since it was blocked calls and anon texts- I mean it makes sense it was but there was no "proof"- so since she is willing to deal with the hassle of being questioned, it continues-sometimes I feel like reacting feeds the crazy-

 

Did your attorney not consider that those calls/texts still have to go through a phone company, and would likely be provable by having a court issue a subpeona to obtain her records?

[gettingstronger]

Yes, she has been known to use a burner phone so her call records are pretty meaningless. Thanks for all the questions, it reminds me of what I guess I already know.... Ignore the crazy and hope it ends. You guys are awesome to try to help out and I appreciate it!