johndo1984 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I will make it short as I can. I been seeing this girl and talking to her for 5 month. I like to take it slow and not rushing into a relationship. One day we went out for dinner and we walk around the park at night, she asked to hold me hand and I let her. First time we hold hand..Suddently she ask me about how I feel about us or her. She told me she like me but she kinds of not sure bc her feeling not there as before. After she told me that, i didnt know how to answer her question.The next day I call her and told her about how I feel about her. I told her that I like her and that I can get to know her more and hope there a possibility for us being together. After that she went nut..crazy.. she said so many negative thing ex. You not my type, we nothing in common, etc..am here listening to all this negative thing, I wonder why she even ask me and why we even hold hand the day before. I ask her when did her feeling change. She said after I left. Did I do anything wrong?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I will make it short as I can. I been seeing this girl and talking to her for 5 month. I like to take it slow and not rushing into a relationship. One day we went out for dinner and we walk around the park at night, she asked to hold me hand and I let her. First time we hold hand..Suddently she ask me about how I feel about us or her. She told me she like me but she kinds of not sure bc her feeling not there as before. After she told me that, i didnt know how to answer her question.The next day I call her and told her about how I feel about her. I told her that I like her and that I can get to know her more and hope there a possibility for us being together. After that she went nut..crazy.. she said so many negative thing ex. You not my type, we nothing in common, etc..am here listening to all this negative thing, I wonder why she even ask me and why we even hold hand the day before. I ask her when did her feeling change. She said after I left. Did I do anything wrong? 5 months? She got tired of waiting for you to commit, and moved on.
Omei Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 5 months? She got tired of waiting for you to commit, and moved on. 5 months is pretty long yes. But her to take your hand and give you to go to reveal your feelings only to 180 later was pretty cunty.
Diezel Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Another thread brought to you by the Friendzone. Next time, OP, RUSH INTO THINGS. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Five months of nothing more than hand holding & no commitment.. . . yes, the lady got tired of waiting. Slow is one thing. Glacial is another.
central Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 5 months and only got to hand-holding? I think you may need to have your testosterone levels checked ASAP. Or, you may be asexual - do you have any urge to have sex?
DArtagnan2 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 My thoughts, she got pissy because you didn't respond how she wanted and when she wanted you to. To be honest, I would have been a little leery in responding after she asked me how I felt, then in the same breathe told me her feelings weren't there. I wouldn't put myself out there if someone told me they didn't have strong feelings for me. Just because you didn't "rush in", do more then hand hold sooner, etc. doesn't mean you did anything wrong, although popular opinions will rake you over the coals for it because how people date or do things now-a-days is to jump in to the sack within the first few dates if not sooner. If you don't, then there has to be something wrong with you. There isn't ANYTHING wrong with you. And the comment about you being asexual is just a stunted way of thinking. Thats on them, NOT you. You date as you want to date. NEVER let anyone pressure you, use tactics or act in a passive aggressive manner to get you to do what they want to do. All those people show you is that they are not on the same page as you or want the same things as you. If they are truly in it for the same reasons as you, they will be right there along side of you and certainly wouldn't blow up at you when you gave them the answer you did, regardless. 3
Author johndo1984 Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 Five months of nothing more than hand holding & no commitment.. . . yes, the lady got tired of waiting. Slow is one thing. Glacial is another. I am ready to be in a relationship w her, it just that i dont think she ready. She doesn't like it when guy make the move on her. She wants to make the move. Do I want to kiss n hold her hand yes, but I think she will be shy, she is shy and old tradition. I respect her boundaries.
Author johndo1984 Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 My thoughts, she got pissy because you didn't respond how she wanted and when she wanted you to. To be honest, I would have been a little leery in responding after she asked me how I felt, then in the same breathe told me her feelings weren't there. I wouldn't put myself out there if someone told me they didn't have strong feelings for me. Just because you didn't "rush in", do more then hand hold sooner, etc. doesn't mean you did anything wrong, although popular opinions will rake you over the coals for it because how people date or do things now-a-days is to jump in to the sack within the first few dates if not sooner. If you don't, then there has to be something wrong with you. There isn't ANYTHING wrong with you. And the comment about you being asexual is just a stunted way of thinking. Thats on them, NOT you. You date as you want to date. NEVER let anyone pressure you, use tactics or act in a passive aggressive manner to get you to do what they want to do. All those people show you is that they are not on the same page as you or want the same things as you. If they are truly in it for the same reasons as you, they will be right there along side of you and certainly wouldn't blow up at you when you gave them the answer you did, regardless. I didnt want to tell her my feelings too but I think she deserves an answer. I didnt want to tell her my feelings bc she told me her fade away. I want to be w her but she old tradition. She like to make the move. She doesn't like when guy take charge.i dont know if I tell her my feelings that night or day after make a different. Yes, I have been in a relationship before.
DArtagnan2 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I didnt want to tell her my feelings too but I think she deserves an answer. I didnt want to tell her my feelings bc she told me her fade away. I want to be w her but she old tradition. She like to make the move. She doesn't like when guy take charge.i dont know if I tell her my feelings that night or day after make a different. Yes, I have been in a relationship before. "old tradition" means the girl makes the move? Controls what the guy does? I guess I thought it was the other way around, At least that is how my grandmother raised me. and you are right, it might not have mattered in the end. You may want a relationship with her, but you have to really look at the situation, what you want from a relationship / partner and determine if what she is going to offer is what you really want and need. Dont settle for less.
Author johndo1984 Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 "old tradition" means the girl makes the move? Controls what the guy does? I guess I thought it was the other way around, At least that is how my grandmother raised me. and you are right, it might not have mattered in the end. You may want a relationship with her, but you have to really look at the situation, what you want from a relationship / partner and determine if what she is going to offer is what you really want and need. Dont settle for less. Old tradition mean, she a home girl. Doesn't drink, party, club, no sex, dont stay over, etc.. she innocent. She does control sometime, ex if she doesnt like what you wear, she tell you to go change. She doesnt like the guy to kiss her or make a move on her until she conftable. She not that open.
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