benzo72 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 So I have been single for almost two months, and started dating again. But heres the thing, I go to pof and the girls i meet are cool, we msg and exchange numbers. We will talk on the phone and everything goes great, then they go distant? Im not needy, creepy or anything like that. I have a career my own place , i make great money and im am a gentleman on top of that. Im also very confident, so i dont know if maybe thats what throws women off? Is that possible? And these are not little convos, one just last night was 4 hours, and she was seemingly very intetested in me too. Am i missing something here? Any advice or tips on online dating would be helpful, thank you
mammasita Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I'm of the opinion that most everyone has an OLD profile. Just like spoons don't make people fat and guns don't kill people.....OLD doesn't make people fake, fickle, rude....etc I disagree with above, you have the same chance of meeting someone online as you do walking into a bar. Use it as a tool. Women who fade? So what....write them off and on to the next.
Mo_Do Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Online dating is as much an art as it is a science. First advice is get off POF and find a real site with more serious females looking for relationships. When you're on the phone that's when you have to set the date up - if you aren't, then they are going distant because you're not pursuing them.
deathandtaxes Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Are you asking these women out, OP? How long do you text/talk on the phone before asking them out? They could be getting bored because there is not asking out going on. It's an oft-repeated complaint amongst women that there are some guys who are happy to be penpals and never get around to actually asking the ladies out.
mortensorchid Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Are you talking about once you meet the person face to face or in the get to know you with texts/phone calls before? There is a difference. I have gone by this ... If I have not heard from the man after our face to face encounter within 24/48 hours after the get together, I know it's not going to happen. He may be a friend, I may have a second get together with him even, but he's not that serious about me. Are you calling them the next day? If so, that's a clear message that you are interested. If this is what you are doing, do you get a pull back from them?
JungleLover Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I agree with going to one of the paid sites. I wouldn't waste my time with POF and OKcupid if you are looking for a relationship. OLD is tricky and you learn as you go along but one piece of important advice I would give is to continue to pursue multiple dates until you absolutely have an exclusive relationship. This keeps your options open and gives you a relaxed, low pressure attitude when dealing with your dates which goes a long way in avoiding them going distant on you. If you always only have one date lined up, your attitude and how you react to the dynamics of OLD won't work in your favor.
Seraque Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Are you asking these women out, OP? How long do you text/talk on the phone before asking them out? They could be getting bored because there is not asking out going on. It's an oft-repeated complaint amongst women that there are some guys who are happy to be penpals and never get around to actually asking the ladies out. I've been online dating, and I agree with this. No matter how great the guy seems, if he's not really arranging for us to meet I will start to lose interest since he's not yet 3-dimentional to me. It would also seem like he's not trying to meet girls offline, only using it to kill time and get an ego boost.
waiting4u Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I find the quicker you take things into the real world, the better. You meet someone, they seem adequately attractive and relatively sane, get their number or offer yours. Suggest meeting for a drink or a cup of coffee. Relationships of any sort via electronics are artificial and misleading. Online dating is great for meeting lots of people, but after that get off the computer and have a face to face conversation.
PegNosePete Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I had no problem meeting plenty of women who were seriously interested in a proper relationship on POF and OKC. No point going to a paid site if you're just going to use the same methods there. If what you're doing isn't working then change it, find out why it's not working and improve it. So you're getting to the phone call stage, that is a lot further than most. You spent 4 hours on the phone?? No no, that is doing it wrong. You should spend 5-10 minutes on the phone, and you should ask to meet up this weekend for a coffee or in a bar. 2
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