jen_r Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 This holiday weekend I was supposed to have an awesome time away with my boyfriend, but something happened with work and he didn't get his check (idk) and we couldn't go away and got into a huge fight. We didn't talk the entire day on Friday despite him trying to text me a few times. On Saturday he texted me in the morning and I was still mad so I gave him short answers. But, after a few hours I realized I just wanted to drop the fight and drive the hour to go see him. I drive up. We have an awesome night, spend quality time together and get along fine. The next morning he goes to the bathroom and I decided to check his phone because....I just felt suspicious. Well, I see a text to a girl that says "Hey...I miss you and love you...you're beautiful...because I want to kiss you...no but seriously I love you..." And Im like "You've got to me kidding me..." He come back from the bathroom and my mind is just going 100 miles a minute and I just blurt out "I need to talk to you....this isn't going to work out...I think we need to break up." And he's all shocked and doesn't understand why. And I just say "Because I don't trust you anymore." He still doesn't understand why and I take his phone, open up the text and hand him the phone and he says "I wasn't with you....we were on a break." And I say, "You sent that Friday morning (1-2am) and I was with you Thursday night." He says "What? When...I don't remember texting her at all...I don't even remember you leaving that night. I was so drunk." And Im like "...thats not an excuse." I just feel so stupid that I drove all the way up there to be nice and mend things and..he's being a f***king sneak behind my back. So gross. I'm so done with relationships.
zen2475 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I'm so sorry to hear you found this out. You trusted your instincts and I don't think you would have checked his phone if you didn't think you had reason to. I don't believe in violating someone's privacy, but sometimes in matters of the heart, and especially when you feel you are being lied to, you have to out of self protection and know the real truth. You did right to dump him. How can you trust him now? Take time off from relationships to heal. In time you will realize not every man is a cheating jerk, and there will be someone better for you who will value you, your relationship, and who will not cheat. Biggest of hugs. 1
sugarlove Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I agree. I never once checked any of my bfs' phones but I accidentally clicked on my ex's LinkedIn app back in DEcember and read what I didn't want to read. It changed how I view him and no matter how much he loves me, I find it's hard for me to open myself fully. Our gut usually never fail us, not for me anyway. You didn't do anything wrong. If he is truly sorry, he will recollect his thoughts and apologise to you. And to earn your trust, he will need to give you access to all his things, something which I doubt he will do. If he still use the ignorance as an excuse, he is a gone case.
Author jen_r Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I agree. I never once checked any of my bfs' phones but I accidentally clicked on my ex's LinkedIn app back in DEcember and read what I didn't want to read. It changed how I view him and no matter how much he loves me, I find it's hard for me to open myself fully. Our gut usually never fail us, not for me anyway. You didn't do anything wrong. If he is truly sorry, he will recollect his thoughts and apologise to you. And to earn your trust, he will need to give you access to all his things, something which I doubt he will do. If he still use the ignorance as an excuse, he is a gone case. I don't think he will apologize. Which, I don't think I would accept it anyways - this is the third similar type situation - enough is enough. I told him I could never be with him because I would just hold animosity towards him. He sent me a text after i got home (after I texted HIM because he said next to nothing when I was confronting him) that said he didnt/doesnt know what to say and that this is all f***ing with him and the thought of us not being together is destroying him. So dramatic.
zen2475 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I think you have been more than patient and forgiving with him. Three strikes and you're out, as they say. Yes, he is dramatic and immature and is not taking responsibility for his actions. 1
benzo72 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Yes the guy messed up, and it was big this time. Im sorry this happened to you, i have been there myself. Just lay low and take time for yourself to recover! I personally go for thev"no contact" option, but im a guy.
Author jen_r Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 Yes the guy messed up, and it was big this time. Im sorry this happened to you, i have been there myself. Just lay low and take time for yourself to recover! I personally go for thev"no contact" option, but im a guy. Yeah, Im going NC. But we kind of run in the same circle, so, we will be seeing each other this summer.
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