Unrealised hopes for relationship - hardest thing to get over?

[coralsmith]

My ex broke up with my suddenly several months ago. It's the first time someone had ever broken up with me, and it was horrendous. Even more so because it was totally unexpected.

 

I'm still coming to term with it slowly. I don't miss him anymore, though I do miss his company, if that makes sense.

 

One of the hardest things for me though, is coming to terms with the unrealised hopes I had for the relationship, even though they were small.

 

We dated for 4 months, during which time I began to look forward to things I would do with him. For example, his sports team won a big tournament. I was supposed to be going to the celebratory night with him, but we broke up the week before.

 

I was looking forward to meeting his team mates, whom i'd heard a lot about. I never got the chance to be introduced to them. Unless they looked me up on facebook, they probably don't even know what I look like or that I even existed. It would've been the first real big night out we'd have gone to together as a couple, so I was looking forward to that too.

 

When we broke up, I wasn't at the point where I felt comfortable meeting his parents, but he had brought it up very early on in the relationship. He had wanted us to visit his parents for a weekend in summer. I was excited to get to know his family, visit his home and see his pets, but none of this happened.

 

I had wanted to go watch him play and support him, when the weather got better, but I never got the chance to.

 

We dated over the winter months, so I looked forward to simple things like sitting in the park on sunny weekends, going for walks, beer gardens etc.

 

Now we've broken up, I never got to experience those small things I so badly looked forward to, and I've found it surprisingly hard to come to terms with.

 

We don't even have a picture of us together. it's like we didn't even exist as a couple.

 

We went out over the winter/ start of spring. The evenings we DID spend together usually involved cooking/watching movies. As fun as they were and as much as I enjoyed them, they weren't exactly big, memorable experiences.

 

Is it normal to grieve so much over things that didn't happen?!

[erklat]

Of course. White space in your conscience where your plans together where

hurt the most.

 

10 months from my breakup pain of those plans still linger.

 

The question I keep asking is could we have more ? We would have if we could.

 

Some other prospects you would be blind to will start to unravel because of that.