LoveMyDog Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I was in a same sex relationship for 3 years. I was her first lesbian relationship, she was married to a man for 10 years and had 2 kids when we got together. I, too, was in a relationship when we met. So, our relationship began from dishonesty. Fast forward, she divorced her husband, we moved in together and have been living happily ever after. Until Saturday of last week. Because we both had a history of cheating on our spouses, it was something we discussed frequently, i.e. how we would not do that to each other. She lied to me on several occasions about talking with other people and sending naked pictures to an old guy friend. However, we had worked through those issues for the most part. I did not believe she was cheating on me at this point. However, the history of lieing and mistrust lingered. Last Saturday we had an argument that led to me look at our cell phone bill, low and behold she had over 2000 more texts than I did. I asked her about it and after many more lies she finally admitted to cheating on me with a coworker. I am devastated. Although we had problems in our relationship, I never actually thought this would happen. She has since turned into a person that I have never met. We have threatened breaking up in the past due to trust issues, but we have always talked it out and she has shown true remorse for her actions. This time I haven't heard a word from her. I asked her to move out last Sunday and except for a few texts regarding mutual bills and exchange of property, there has been radio silence. I did send a few texts asking why she didn't love me anymore, yada, yada, but have since vowed to go NC. I am just baffled that 8 days ago everything was fine, I had no inkling that things of this magnitude were brewing in the background of my relationship, we were still loving to each other, still having sex, still having the I hope you're having a good day at work, I love you texts yada, yada. Now she has left me for a coworker that is also married to another for 10 years and has 4 kids with her wife. Said coworker, is however, moving 2.5 hours away this week. Not that one can't drive 2.5 hours, just saying. i am still in the shock stage. I waver between anger and denial, and am having a hard time staying focused. I did see a counselor on day 2 and we discussed the fact that when my ex was cheating on her husband to be with me, she didn't show him any remorse either. So, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that I haven't heard from her. It's just so hard to fathom that this person who was in my life for 3 years, everyday for the last 3 years, is just gone. No more texts, no more phone calls, no more kisses at the door when they have arrived home. No more cuddles on the couch watching your favorite TV show. Only lies, and deceit, and selfishness. It's hard to accept that you just aren't loved by them the way you thought you were.
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Well I wouldn't say she never loved you. She honestly did! Some just fall out of love over time. A relationship doesn't have to end because of troubles within the relationship. She is a coward, she didn't properly breakup with you, but instead located someone else first to be with. There are people out there who fear being alone,and will stay in a relationship for years, going through the motions, just to not be alone. I say she is one of those. Your therapist is right. Being with someone with that kind of history, more than likely history will repeat itself. Oh well we live and learn right? Look up the 5 steps to grieving. This will help you through the healing process. So sorry for your loss.
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