Laprus9 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 There's this shy girl at work and I was always under the impression that she was uncomfortable around me and I wondered why. We always made eye contact and gave each other big smiles each time we passed each other and she would blush. I had a few conversations with her where she'd giggle uncontrollably, but she would never initiate a conversation with me like she would with other guys. If I was in a group with her she'd go quiet, she'd sort adjust her hair, play with her phone and remain quiet. If I wasn't in a group setting she was much more talkative. She never initiated any conversations with me, if we spoke it was because I started the conversation and kept it going otherwise the conversation would just stop dead in its tracks which always happened as I felt equally uncomfortable around her. This went on for a few weeks and then one her friends hinted that she liked me, so I decided I was going to ask her out somewhere local just so we could chat and get to know each other in a social setting, so I asked her out and she turned me down, she was too busy. I accepted the rejection and accepted that she just wasn't into me and was just going to move on. The girl was even more awkward in the aftermath, she was ignoring me and acting like I didn't exist, then the next time I saw her she was friendly, then a few weeks later I noticed she was everywhere I was. She actually came and stood next to me, didn't even look at me and then when I said nothing she just walked off. She seemed to try and capture my attention throughout the day, even walking over towards me as though she wanted to say something before getting distracted by another person. The following week she was back to being cold, aloof and seemingly disinterested in me and then her and her friend seemed to be trying to get my attention at various points through my day to which they failed as I just got fed up with all of this weird behavior and I didn't know how to act. I know it's awkward to reject someone and if you don't like them you probably don't want them to ask you out, but I think her behavior is just making me feel awkward. I don't know how to act around her Jekyll and Hyde like behavior patterns. I've got no bad feelings towards this girl and I wish her the best for the future, but I've been rejected before by girls and usually the girl acts like nothing has happened or they just ignore me. I've never had someone act friendly to me one week and distant with me the following week. I'd love to know why she's acting like this and how do I handle the situation? Would it be best just to ignore her?
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) She was trying to pull you into the friends zone. Remember girls are attention whores, and this is probably all they are after, nothing romantic. Good on you for stepping up and asking her out. Most that post on here are chicken sh its and have to ask us (a bunch of strangers) if the girl likes them and what should they do to find out. Duh ask them out lol. What to do about it? That is up to you. If you want to have things simple, then just be yourself like you would with anyone else, but don't give her any extra attention. Edited July 6, 2014 by smackie9
Author Laprus9 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I think I'm just going to keep my distance from her, her behavior is just messed up. If she wants attention then she'll have to find another source because she won't be getting any from me. I'm just going to ignore her, not worth the bother. TY for your post. 1
babycakees Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 For starters, do not mix business and pleasure! Secondly, she rejected you. Move on and don't pay so much attention to her.
Author Laprus9 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 For starters, do not mix business and pleasure! Secondly, she rejected you. Move on and don't pay so much attention to her. I thought we could at least remain polite and civil to each other without her acting like her shoe size, but whatever.
Dallers Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 OP I feel you as I had a very similar scenario at my workplace. She flirted with me and gave me signs for months and when I finally pulled the trigger massive rejection. Then came the awkwardness and then it passed and she went back to being more flirty than ever now knowing that I wanted her. It led to her completely friend-zoning me in the most brutal way at the Xmas work party and I called her out on it and it all blew up. She left shortly afterwards for a new job but it was all a game my friend. If anything I think that sexual tension at work is there because people are actually bored at work. Never mix work and pleasure, you learn the hard way or you listen to others telling you not to either way it never ends well.
Author Laprus9 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 That sounds terrible. She can friend zone me all she wants as we are not friends and given her hot and cold behavior we never will be. I'm not interested in her anymore and I won't be giving her the time of day. It's just a shame that a woman can't reject a man and both parties act maturely about it. There's no need for immaturity and there's no need for stupid behavior like she has shown and I just cannot fathom what she hopes to achieve by doing this? Is it to try and get me to shower her with attention? I never showered her with attention before I asked her out, so I was never going to shower her with attention after she rejected me. Silly girl.
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