BePositive87 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Hey, I had a two year "fling" with this guy, and last year he met someone and we just remained friends. I backed off 100%. We still spoke every so often but his new girlfriend is extremely insecure and paranoid and got my number from his phone and started to ring and text me asking who I was and what I wanted. It went on for months, until I eventually cut ties with this guy. We've known each other for 5 years, and when he met this lady, anything 'sexual' stopped immediately, but we still spoke. We would text every now and then, not flirty texts, just normal "how are you?" "What have you been upto?" Etc etc. She didn't like it and would send me abusive messages, and cause he has no back bone he didn't stand up for me or anything, so I kinda said a f you and cut all ties. Ever since, she has been sending me texts telling me what they are upto "we are off to Egypt" "sun, sea, me & him ;-)" "lovely romantic evening ;-)" "love is in the air!!!! ;-)" "holidays soon!!!!!!! Jealous??". At first I laughed because she owns nothing, has nothing, and is a freeloader, so without him she wouldn't have anything to brag about , but now they are getting on my nerves. I don't see why she is STILL doing it, like, a year later! Move on with your life and your 'amazing' relationship! Is this a sign of insecurity? Bragging to compensate for something that isn't there? I get annoyed at him too for letting her still do this, mind you, he is probably past caring and just lets her get on with it. She needs knocking down a peg or two!
TAV Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 And what's your role in all this? How often do you speak to him? You stopped having sex but all else continued? He treats you like his spare girlfriend? Have you moved on? Do you have a new boyfriend? If so, what does he make of this situation? Do you respond to her texts? If so, in what way? So you were in a relationship with this guy and when someone else came along you just agreed to split? And you never missed what you had and wanted him back? I agree with you that he lacks a backbone, clearly he does not respect her boundaries. Could it not be that he enjoys having two women fighting for his attention? Yes, she sound very insecure. I just wonder if she has reason to be.
Author BePositive87 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 As far as I know she has no reason to be insecure. I have had no contact with him since I told him to get lost. Her texts go unanswered. I have never once replied. The only time I have spoken to her was when I answered one of the many phone calls to ask why she kept ringing me, to explain that nothing was going on, and I also suggested meeting up with her and going for a coffee, so she could see/hear for herself. Of course I have missed him, (I think most people might briefly miss Someone they don't speak too anymore), but like I said, we have not had any contact in a long time. I have dated and met a couple of guys, but nothing really come of it, but I'm not too bothered. I'm concentrating more on my career at the minute. We met 5 years ago, for 2 years we were close friends and then things moved on and we started a relationship, it didn't work out, but we remained friends, and occasionally friends with benefits, but we always said that if either of us met someone we would tell the other and it would stop. He met this lady, told me, I fully respected their new relationship, and it went completely platonic. Any of our texts would have never given her any reason to act the way she does. They weren't flirty, no kiss on the end, nothing. It was purely "hey long time no speak, what's new?". I'm not some home wrecking little slut, as for the friends with benefits, it suited us both at the time. So, as for her, I just don't understand. And it isn't just me, before me and him stopped speaking he said that she had taken the majority of numbers of out his phone, work colleagues, family etc
Author BePositive87 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 She will check his phone, Facebook etc, and will see for herself that there has been no contact for over a year. My concern is, why she is still texting me with her silly bs a year later? Surely you would get bored? Especially after they go unanswered? And for all she knows, I could be in a relationship. I just find it very strange, and not the behaviour of a 32 year old woman.
TAV Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Ah, ok, it was not clear from your OP that you have not spoken to him in over a year. Though the tone of your OP is somewhat confusing; the way you put down his ex ('she owns nothing, has nothing, and is a freeloader, so without him she wouldn't have anything to brag about') and are upset that he 'does not stand up for you' made me think you still care a great deal. Maybe he is fuelling her jealousy? You do not know what he tells this woman; maybe he gets a kick out of that? He obviously likes this arrangement that they have if he is willing to delete all numbers of friends and acquaintances. Some people are addicted to the toxic relationships they are in. And, yes, this is stalkerish behaviour. Can't you block her number? If you can't do it on your phone you can do it by asking your provider.
Author BePositive87 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I'm not fond of her, I don't like her. She sent me abusive text messages getting personal when I hadn't even done anything to deserve it. She is not a nice person. It's the arrogance that has started to annoy me, because we all know that without him she has nothing. Nothing to brag about. No holidays to go on. Nothing. She doesn't work and just leeches off his money. If they break up she will have egg on her face, so I don't know why she doesn't calm the cocky attitude and arrogance down. She has never got a rise from me, so why would she still continue to text me? I'm not interested what they are upto, and I don't know why she thinks I am or how I could get it through to her to save the texts cause they aren't doing anything.I would have thought she would have got bored, and if I was HIM, I would be starting to think that my girlfriend had some kind of obsession with me, or some kind of mental health problem! As for changing my number, I have spoken to my provider and it will cost to change my number. I have had the same number for over 10 years and everyone has it, it would be hard work to change it and print new business cards etc etc all cause some silly woman cannot control her insecurities, and has to make people think that she is better than everyone else. Deep down I think she knows that without him she has nothing, and that she is low. And to criticise how I look? Luckily for her, I don't have to put people down to make myself feel better.
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