Gher2154 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I want to keep this brief so you guys don't have lots of reading. Well there is this girl I have liked for a while and we hung out last week. We started talking again after we hung out and everything was going smooth. She is one of the joking kind of girl, "supposedly" and I am a jokster myself. Well I called her one night and I was making her laugh and purposely annoying her. Well, conversation ended and she texted me bye, and I said "bye Felicia". (Bye Felicia is a common teenage slang term. For an accurate definition, google it. No, Felicia is not her name, it's Paola.) Somehow, things escalated quickly. I was expecting an ," eff you jerk haha ;)". Instead this were her exact words: "I know I'm ugly, you don't have to rub it in. Shut the **** up dam I am sick of it." I thought she was messing around like she usually does, but I still felt a little bad, and I said that you know you aren't ugly and I always say you are beautiful. I have never called you ugly, and never will." Well she said: " No shut the **** up bye." I texted her a bit saying I'm sorry. She replied: "whatever". Knowing as a fact that is bad. I even asked her if she was playing around, but she started texting slower and slower, saying she is not. I told her she is beautiful and I'm sorry with everything I got. The slang term "bye Felicia" doesn't even mean ugly, I think. She texted me the next morning saying (exact words): well no, you're not sorry, you never are." I have no idea where that came from. A few texts later, I told her I'll make it up to her, I'll do something. She replied: "Good luck with that". That's when I started to realize this was real. She even told me whatever I did wouldn't work. I've known her for 3 years but haven't gotten this close with her. We've talked for about 6 months and we have done unspeakable things (except sex). She knows I like her, I know she likes me. I really want her bad, and I'm not sure if I screwed my chances with her. I remember how she was really interested in me and in one night it all changed. I'm just in a WTF moment or in a state of shock. It's weird not texting her or calling her at night. I'm more confused than sad on how I made her hate me. I've told her "bye Felicia" before but this one was a different reaction. Should I just man up and go after what I want? Anyone have advice on how to make her un-hate me? I want her bad, I don't think anyone understands. It's been 2 days since that messed up night, Friday. Thanks guys for reading.
Assasda Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 The fist thing you did wrong was apologize. If chicks are being unreasonable for whatever reason. You cant argue with them. You apologizing then immediately putting her on the pedestal is what makes the situation worse. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but what you do is keep on living your life and acknowledge that you did nothing wrong. You might want to see other girls too
Author Gher2154 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 She Was Testing You....You Failed What was the test?
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 If you want to feel all superior & aloof follow the advice given to you by the guys who are telling you this was a test & you failed. She'll never speak to you again & you can pat yourself on the back that you didn't cave into a mere woman. Good luck letting that keep you warm in winter. If you want her back, send her flowers (not red roses) with a sincere note of apology. Even if she was being a bit kookie you still hurt her feelings. 1
morrowrd Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Well right now you are making yourself more and more unattractive with all the groveling. What you should have done, is after the first pouting text she made, was to go silent. I have a saying I live by. Sometimes doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. And that goes with communication as well. Right now, to me you look like a guy puppy-dogging after some girl, whipped. Less is more at this point, start the damage control by getting control of yourself and do nothing. If she's interested like you say, she'll be back. If she isn't she isn't. And any amount of rolling around at her feet will reinforce that disinterest. Don't do it. 1
BlueIris Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) I want to keep this brief so you guys don't have lots of reading. Well there is this girl I have liked for a while and we hung out last week. We started talking again after we hung out and everything was going smooth. She is one of the joking kind of girl, "supposedly" and I am a jokster myself. Well I called her one night and I was making her laugh and purposely annoying her. Well, conversation ended and she texted me bye, and I said "bye Felicia". (Bye Felicia is a common teenage slang term. For an accurate definition, google it. No, Felicia is not her name, it's Paola.) Somehow, things escalated quickly. I was expecting an ," eff you jerk haha ;)". Instead this were her exact words: "I know I'm ugly, you don't have to rub it in. Shut the **** up dam I am sick of it." I thought she was messing around like she usually does, but I still felt a little bad, and I said that you know you aren't ugly and I always say you are beautiful. I have never called you ugly, and never will." Well she said: " No shut the **** up bye." I texted her a bit saying I'm sorry. She replied: "whatever". Knowing as a fact that is bad. I even asked her if she was playing around, but she started texting slower and slower, saying she is not. I told her she is beautiful and I'm sorry with everything I got. The slang term "bye Felicia" doesn't even mean ugly, I think. She texted me the next morning saying (exact words): well no, you're not sorry, you never are." I have no idea where that came from. A few texts later, I told her I'll make it up to her, I'll do something. She replied: "Good luck with that". That's when I started to realize this was real. She even told me whatever I did wouldn't work. I've known her for 3 years but haven't gotten this close with her. We've talked for about 6 months and we have done unspeakable things (except sex). She knows I like her, I know she likes me. I really want her bad, and I'm not sure if I screwed my chances with her. I remember how she was really interested in me and in one night it all changed. I'm just in a WTF moment or in a state of shock. It's weird not texting her or calling her at night. I'm more confused than sad on how I made her hate me. I've told her "bye Felicia" before but this one was a different reaction. Should I just man up and go after what I want? Anyone have advice on how to make her un-hate me? I want her bad, I don't think anyone understands. It's been 2 days since that messed up night, Friday. Thanks guys for reading. First of all, wanting her is not the same as caring about her. Apologize and learn a lesson from it: mean teasing is playing with fire. Did these "mean joke" exchanges include insulting/mocking you, or was it primarily or only insulting/mocking her? The one good thing about texting is that you can look back at the history and see what was really happening. I wouldn't "know" that someone liked me if he made a habit of mean-teasing. Edited July 6, 2014 by BlueIris
Author Gher2154 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 First of all, wanting her is not the same as caring about her. Apologize and learn a lesson from it: mean teasing is playing with fire. Did these "mean joke" exchanges include insulting/mocking you, or was it primarily or only insulting/mocking her? The one good thing about texting is that you can look back at the history and see what was really happening. I wouldn't "know" that someone liked me if he made a habit of mean-teasing. Well we basically tease each other all the time, in person, over calling, or text. It's what we do. I'm just confused how I hurt her. I tease he but I know not to go far and what I said was within our boundaries and I've told her "bye Felicia" before.
BlueIris Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Well we basically tease each other all the time, in person, over calling, or text. It's what we do. I'm just confused how I hurt her. I tease he but I know not to go far and what I said was within our boundaries and I've told her "bye Felicia" before. Something tipped the balance so look back at all your texts, with a clear objective eye. In my experience, sometimes these mean-tease, bantering situations can block real exchange of feelings. They often come off as being too afraid to show real feelings. They're a wall to hide behind, self-protective. Look back and see if she was dropping that communication style and you missed it and instead deflected warmth or sincerity on her part with more teasing. I can only speak for myself, not her, but generally the mean-tease thing is only okay in the very initial stages but once you're becoming a couple, kindness (both ways) had better take over. JMO 2
Author Gher2154 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Something tipped the balance so look back at all your texts, with a clear objective eye. In my experience, sometimes these mean-tease, bantering situations can block real exchange of feelings. They often come off as being too afraid to show real feelings. They're a wall to hide behind, self-protective. Look back and see if she was dropping that communication style and you missed it and instead deflected warmth or sincerity on her part with more teasing. I can only speak for myself, not her, but generally the mean-tease thing is only okay in the very initial stages but once you're becoming a couple, kindness (both ways) had better take over. JMO I never thought it that way. Well, what do you think I should do? Go silent like everyone said?
bubbaganoosh Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 That's why I always say, think before you speak. Sometimes a kidding around joke hits some people the wrong way. My advice is to let her cool down. Give it some time, stop texting, calling whatever and later on give it a shot and if she feels the same way then move on and she needs a little thicker skin.
BlueIris Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) First, I'd really examine what happened, so you really know, so you can sincerely say what happened. Then I'd apologize and explain what I now see/realize. Lots of folks see this as weakness, but I see it as strength. My thinking is you don't have anything to lose and I always feel better being, owning my mistakes and telling someone that I care, even if I don't "get" anything from the other person as a result. You do it for yourself, to be the person you want to be, not for any reward. Do it the way d0nnivain suggests. Edited July 6, 2014 by BlueIris
FitnessRN Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 She Was Testing You....You Failed Games = deal breaker This guy dodged a bullet! The girl has terrible Self-Esteem and seems like a Looney Toon! 2
preraph Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I am struggling with what to say here because there's only two thoughts coming to mind and neither of them are diplomatic enough for me to want to tell you them, but then the fact you're not diplomatic at all tipped the scale to where I no longer care, so here goes. 1) At best, you think you're funny and you're not. You think pestering and provoking is good and it gets old nearly immediately. 2) At worst, you're being a really verbally abusive insulting guy to a girl for no reason and expecting that to endear her to you. Either way. Let her reaction be a lesson. And I did look up Felicia and it's a girl who when she says she's leaving you, you don't give a damn, so you say "Bye, Felicia," as code for you don't care. Nice. Not sure where she got ugly, but it never would have happened if you hadn't been haranguing her for no reason.
Author Gher2154 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I am struggling with what to say here because there's only two thoughts coming to mind and neither of them are diplomatic enough for me to want to tell you them, but then the fact you're not diplomatic at all tipped the scale to where I no longer care, so here goes. 1) At best, you think you're funny and you're not. You think pestering and provoking is good and it gets old nearly immediately. 2) At worst, you're being a really verbally abusive insulting guy to a girl for no reason and expecting that to endear her to you. Either way. Let her reaction be a lesson. And I did look up Felicia and it's a girl who when she says she's leaving you, you don't give a damn, so you say "Bye, Felicia," as code for you don't care. Nice. Not sure where she got ugly, but it never would have happened if you hadn't been haranguing her for no reason. Well like I said, I am confused because we tease each other like that. If this supported uploading photos, I'd show you some messages. We verbally tease each other, because we are both cool with it. I've told her bye Felicia before, and she has laughed and insulted me back. Like for both of us, it's cool. That's why I am confused why she acted like this. It's like eating your favorite food all the time, and then you eat it again and you don't like it anymore, when you just ate it one hour ago and loved it. Like I am not sure what is going on, and for a fact she isn't faking this.
PogoStick Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 What "unspeakable" things have you done? Kissing, intimate touching? Those are surely speakable. Unspeakable? You must have been fisting her in the butt. Your only choice is to not give a fck. You can't make any girl like you, so either she cools off and comes around, or it's over. Either way you have no control. Therefore your only sensible choice is to start working a new girl. Unless you want to continue being her puppy on a leash and realize 6 months later she still isn't into you.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Op: 1 Drama Queen: 0 What a happy, jovial marriage that would have been... tell Miss moody pants to shove it x
Assasda Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 1 more thing I'll add. Do not apologize. Never apologize when you didnt do anything wrong. Thats the puppy-dog lifestyle its something that you cant reason with. It is a test, A test to see if you can take her bullcrap - And you failed it
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