inez12 Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 how do I find inner strength. Why is it so hard to be alone without a man?? Any advice tips on how I can be stronger. Im bummed right now. Its even harder ebcause most of my friends have boyfriends and are getting ready to get married. Here I dont even have a date for saturday night I mean there is a chance i could be single for years to come.... I wish I could learn to love and enjoy life.. even without a man!!!!
Hund1976 Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Find some hobbies or something to occupy your time. Maybe you'll meet some new friends doing that. Then when you're least expecting you might run into the man of your dreams.
Sckott Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Yeah get into what you like to do. Make some time for yourself and do what makes you happy. Even for guys, when a serious relationship goes poof, it's very hard. Surround yourself with friends and keep yourself busy. It's the only way to get better...
moimeme Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Volunteer. Take up new hobbies. Work for a politician or join a party. Go to festivals and other local events. Take classes. Make new female friends.
upsetnhurt Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 It sucks having someone tell you to get hobbies to distract yourself when the most important thing in your mind is finding the "ONE". Just remember that there are lots of people in the same boat as yourself and you are not alone. Think about life as it was before you were involved......not so bad, huh? It does get better but it takes time. Just think that you could still be involved in something terrible and just be wasting time....here you are on your way to recovery!
kit4kat Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 Welcome to my world... My best friend is engaged, my closest guy friend is engaged, my sister is a boy hopper, my other female friends all have boyfriends, and I'm stuck with the guys that see me as "one of the guys". Will it ever get better? Living life without a man can be depressing sometimes, I know. When those weekend nights, even weekday nights, come along and you're home alone, do something special for yourself. I've heard the "get a new hobby" line a million times. I now cook. It takes up more time than getting fast food. I'll usually make myself dinner and watch a movie. I go running, I read books, and sometimes I'll drive down to the beach for some good alone time. Avoid shopping, that'll just drain your money supply. Hang out with your coupled friends though. My best friend and I make it a point to hang out at least once a week, just me and her. Losing yourself in a pit of despair and depression because you're single is a cop-out. I did that once, it was the worst few months of my life. It is difficult, but look at the positive side. You have you time. Once you have a boyfriend, that'll be lessened. And once you're married, forget about it! use this time to grow and discover more about yourself.
Israfil Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 Originally posted by kit4kat Welcome to my world... use this time to grow and discover more about yourself. Yeah, I have been single for a few months now and it sux... well, it did for a long while. Now I am starting to get used to it, and I kind-of like it! This should be a time of self-discovery - find yourself again - a singular identity for yourself, not derived from a partner. A wise friend of mine once said, "It's not about finding the right person - its about BEING the right person." Think about that statement - its very powerful. Took me months to really understand what that meant. I do now, and I am better for it.
emotionsmessmeup Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 wow Israfil...I elarnt soemthing from u today. SOmething i have been learning, but trying to put it in words. you laid it out right there for me. U know kit4kat..funny...u hate being single around couples.... coz all and i mean all the ppl i know right now are single...and it scares me..maybe there is no true love... atleast around couples, you can be hopeful..
kit4kat Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup U know kit4kat..funny...u hate being single around couples.... coz all and i mean all the ppl i know right now are single...and it scares me..maybe there is no true love... atleast around couples, you can be hopeful.. For me, being around my coupled friends is a great experience. It gives me insight into the mechanics of a relationship without actually being in one. But on the other hand, being around my single friends is great too. I can hang out without having to answer to someone about my whereabouts, I can talk to whoever, flirt with whoever, go out with my girls whenever, do what I want and not have to worry about if what I'm doing is going to impact my relationship in a negative way. Either way, its a win-win situation. This should be a time of self-discovery - find yourself again - a singular identity for yourself, not derived from a partner. A wise friend of mine once said, "It's not about finding the right person - its about BEING the right person." Israfil, I couldn't have said it better myself!
Prnkstr Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 Why bother? Being single is so much better....u always got freinds.....going through the whole porsess of getting a girl/boyfrind is just too much hassle when u look at all the pain u get...we should all be single people living alone seperate from eachother....
Stone Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 A man will never complete you honey, you have to be happy with yourself.
Hund1976 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 A guy should make your life better, not be your life.
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