Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 If you don't want to read the background of the question then skip to the bottom of this post I went on a date with a girl last night and I'm confused whether she's interested in a second date or not. The night went pretty well in my opinion, we started off with dinner at a really nice restaurant staying there for about 2 hours. The conversation would run smoothly for a good amount of time then stop for a few mins, then start off again. I've never taken a girl on a date before so I was quite nervous to start off with. After dinner we walked along the wharf where it was located and came across a bowling alley that was open till late so we went inside and had a game, after she beat me we started to make out for a good amount of time. After bowling, she had friends that were going clubbing in the area so we met up with them. At the club/pub she was really affectionate holding my hand, rubbing my leg, and kissing me. I didn't know her friends and I get quite shy around people I don't know so I hardly talked at all. But whenever a guy was talking to her she would quickly grab my hand and start playing with it. Fast forward, I ended up driving her home where she held my hand for the journey then made out when we got to hers and went our separate ways, this was 3 in the morning. -THIS CHAPTER- Anyway the next day I messaged her saying "I had really nice time with you we should do something next week if you like" And she replied saying "I had a really great time with you too Thankyou for dropping me off home, now I think about it I should of stayed at my friends house who live close to where we were" But she didn't even acknowledge the part of doing something again during the week? What in the world does that mean, she clearly saw it and didn't answer. Maybe I'm over thinking at this point but I'm very curious.
Assasda Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Dont over think it. In fact dont even think about it. You sounded a little weak with the "we should do something next week if you like" but dont waorry about it. Call her in the middle of the week to set something up, unless she calls you first. Dont let crap like this faze you. It doesnt mean anything 1
ThatGirl213 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Just call her a few days from now and set up a date. If she agrees, then you can take it from there. 2
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Dont over think it. In fact dont even think about it. You sounded a little weak with the "we should do something next week if you like" but dont waorry about it. Call her in the middle of the week to set something up, unless she calls you first. Dont let crap like this faze you. It doesnt mean anything Yea I didn't think about the "if you like" part when I wrote it, afterwards i kinda knew that sounded a bit insecure. Okay, I'll let it go for a few days and just stop worrying about every little thing. Thanks for the help.
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Just call her a few days from now and set up a date. If she agrees, then you can take it from there. Call her or message her on facebook, we usually just talk over facebook to organize things. And I'll do that.
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Good god man, she is expecting you to set up the next date! get on it! Be more creative this time.....dinner is so over done.
HappyLove Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Congrats! I think you did a great job for a first date! The only thing I'd say is maybe that date was too long but she seemed to like you a lot during it. Hit her up with concrete plans by Tuesday. She responded so don't overthink it.
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Good god man, she is expecting you to set up the next date! get on it! Be more creative this time.....dinner is so over done. We went bowling as well though, this is my first time taking a girl out so I wasn't too sure what to do.
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Congrats! I think you did a great job for a first date! The only thing I'd say is maybe that date was too long but she seemed to like you a lot during it. Hit her up with concrete plans by Tuesday. She responded so don't overthink it. Yea I think it went for way too long, I'm use to picking girls up at the club and waiting a while to leave, I didn't really adapt to date mode. But I definitely learned my lesson on the length of a date. And thanks, I'm glad you think I did a great job because I was really nervous and get quite shy but I tried my best. I'll call her in 2-3 days to ask her out again with proper plans. Gosh, this is a whole new world haha Thanks for your help.
deathandtaxes Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Agree with Assasda, your text was so weak sauce. You sound like an unassertive passive little boy. Man up op!! Ask her out for a specific activity, on a specific day, at a specific time! Then you'll get your answer whether she wants another date or not. Besides, this first date actually seems about three dates rolled into one - you had three separate activities. So you could almost consider the next one your fourth. 1
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Rexxy you got lucky with the bowling.....the next date will make or break this. She obviously likes to do fun things, use your imagination, she will be impressed. 1
Dallers Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I wouldn't worry about the text OP but your follow up has to be a killer. I screwed up earlier but still have a date with a girl because apart from the lame excuse for my date closure all of the other interactions showed that I am god damn awesome. Anything can be saved and salvaged but the aim is not to find yourself in this situation as it causes you to over-think and stress. You need to rid yourself of anxiety and figure out the best possible way to go in head first and seal that deal and secure that date. As above it must be imaginative and clever and stand out. Otherwise that spark will fizzle out and die. 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Agree with Assasda, your text was so weak sauce. You sound like an unassertive passive little boy. Man up op!! Ask her out for a specific activity, on a specific day, at a specific time! Then you'll get your answer whether she wants another date or not. Besides, this first date actually seems about three dates rolled into one - you had three separate activities. So you could almost consider the next one your fourth. I understand how weak that text was now, I'll man up, call her, and ask her out on a date I already have in my mind. That's a nice way to think about the date, I suppose we did do three different activities but I think I should of gone home after the bowling so it didn't drag out so long. Thanks for your response. 2
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I wouldn't worry about the text OP but your follow up has to be a killer. I screwed up earlier but still have a date with a girl because apart from the lame excuse for my date closure all of the other interactions showed that I am god damn awesome. Anything can be saved and salvaged but the aim is not to find yourself in this situation as it causes you to over-think and stress. You need to rid yourself of anxiety and figure out the best possible way to go in head first and seal that deal and secure that date. As above it must be imaginative and clever and stand out. Otherwise that spark will fizzle out and die. I'll pretend I've never sent the text and move on from worrying about such a small thing, I'll call her up and organize another date. I have a pretty good date in mind, at dinner we were talking about this cinema that had a gold class section where you sit in lazyboy chairs and can order food/dessert/and drinks during any time of the movie and she said she has always wanted to do that. Well when I got home I realized my parents had two gold tickets to this section at the movies that I can use so I think this is a very lucky situation and she'll enjoy this. Afterwards we'll do something else to have a talk then head home. I won't drag it out as long. Thanks for help.
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Be all you can be Rexxy! I'm trying my best, I think the next date will be a lot more interesting since I'll be more relaxed with her. This was the first time for me to take out a girl and the nerves really got to me and I had trouble keeping a conversation. At least the physical attraction was their the first night, and it seem to go relatively smoothly. We also had a lot of deep stares during the night and I'd get this really strange feeling inside during the stare, don't know what it was. Got lucky.
Dallers Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I'm trying my best, I think the next date will be a lot more interesting since I'll be more relaxed with her. This was the first time for me to take out a girl and the nerves really got to me and I had trouble keeping a conversation. At least the physical attraction was their the first night, and it seem to go relatively smoothly. We also had a lot of deep stares during the night and I'd get this really strange feeling inside during the stare, don't know what it was. Got lucky. Stop thinking this girl is so great. You put her on a pedestal. Always and I mean always keep your value above hers. Never let a girl become better than you in your mind. It allows you to consume rejection as a positive and also retain the male role in the relationship which is what a woman wants. You should be in control not her and at the moment reading what you write she is going to be feeling like the man. Run that conversation like you are the only thing in the room that she should be focusing on. Physical contact and body language that show you are in control is a must. No dreamy stares. 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Stop thinking this girl is so great. You put her on a pedestal. Always and I mean always keep your value above hers. Never let a girl become better than you in your mind. It allows you to consume rejection as a positive and also retain the male role in the relationship which is what a woman wants. You should be in control not her and at the moment reading what you write she is going to be feeling like the man. Run that conversation like you are the only thing in the room that she should be focusing on. Physical contact and body language that shows you are in control is a must. No dreamy stares. Ok, I'll start working on this. I'll be more in control. I need to man up and lead the way, starting to put my value above hers. I'm actually glad you said that because I was starting to think that this girl was a step above me and I didn't have much of a chance. Sometimes I need someone to remind me to get back in place, thanks heaps! 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 I'm going to be calling her tomorrow afternoon after work to ask her out on the next date. We went out on the Saturday and it'll be Tuesday tomorrow so I think that might be enough time in between. Hopefully all goes well. 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 I'm going to be calling her tomorrow afternoon after work to ask her out on the next date. We went out on the Saturday and it'll be Tuesday tomorrow so I think that might be enough time in between. Hopefully all goes well. Decided to wait it out one more day, I'm not going to message/text her on tuesday (today) and I'll call up on Wednesday. I think this may help a bit. Do you think so?
HappyLove Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Decided to wait it out one more day, I'm not going to message/text her on tuesday (today) and I'll call up on Wednesday. I think this may help a bit. Do you think so? Don't play so many games. If you like this girl ask her out before she makes other plans. Waiting an extra day won't make her like you more. 1
JungleLover Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Don't play so many games. If you like this girl ask her out before she makes other plans. Waiting an extra day won't make her like you more. I agree. Just ask her out properly, man. You are not defusing a bomb here. I have learned in dating to go with the flow. What I mean is that I wouldn't so unnaturally end a date because it is turning into a long date. I wouldn't force it's length either but sometimes when the chemistry is good and you two are vibing off each other, you should continue to build that rapport. That would be your best time to do it. Once you feel that the vibing is going down a notch then end the date. It takes practice to get this right. Yes, your suggestion for another date was weak but I can tell you, most of the guys who tries to date that woman are sending weak texts like that so I don't think it was a crucial misstep. Don't over-think this. Just do it and allow yourself to make mistakes and forgive yourself easily when you do.
Author Rexxy Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 I agree. Just ask her out properly, man. You are not defusing a bomb here. I have learned in dating to go with the flow. What I mean is that I wouldn't so unnaturally end a date because it is turning into a long date. I wouldn't force it's length either but sometimes when the chemistry is good and you two are vibing off each other, you should continue to build that rapport. That would be your best time to do it. Once you feel that the vibing is going down a notch then end the date. It takes practice to get this right. Yes, your suggestion for another date was weak but I can tell you, most of the guys who tries to date that woman are sending weak texts like that so I don't think it was a crucial misstep. Don't over-think this. Just do it and allow yourself to make mistakes and forgive yourself easily when you do. Thanks for the advice. I've never taken a girl on a first date before so I wasn't too sure if she would of liked to go on another one. So I naturally took the safe option so I didn't have to get rejected, but in the end it just turned out to be a really weak move. I've learned from that mistake, and I'm just going to pretend I never sent it.
Author Rexxy Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 Don't play so many games. If you like this girl ask her out before she makes other plans. Waiting an extra day won't make her like you more. I didn't end up messaging her during the day, at the end of the night she ended up messaging first with "How was your day??" and I ended up flirting with her then going to bed. For some reason this made me feel a lot more confident in asking her out the next day, like I had the upper hand. It might be playing games, but the outcome of this particular situation has given me some extra confidence. Since I'm new to the dating scene these little things can help a lot. I'll call her after work today to ask her out, no more excuses. Time to be the man! And I'll just cross my fingers she hasn't made other plans. Thanks for the advice. 2
Author Rexxy Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 I'll call her after work today to ask her out, no more excuses. Time to be the man! And I'll just cross my fingers she hasn't made other plans. Thanks for the advice. Alright, so I finally got over my nerves and called her up after boxing training last night. Asked her how her day was then said "I was wondering if I could take you out this weekend?" She said "Yes, that sounds really good" I then discussed what I wanted to do with her (Go to these gold class cinemas), and we decided to go out on friday. So in the end it all worked out and I'm quite excited to see how the second date goes. I''ll be picking her up and taking her back home. Any advice for the second date?
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