Some NC advice

[sweetie7]

I have what might be some good advice for everyone:

You might have read my story from last week....in short anyway, my bf of 8 months wanted space apart from me, I flipped out, he got mad, and I was good for like 5 days of NC before I finally called him and said "you need to tell me what's up" He called me back and left me a message saying he loves me but thinks we should break up bc we've been fighing a lot. We had mostly been fighting bc I always wanted to be with him and he was busy and didn't have every minute to be with me. I stressed him out bc I'd get mad if he didn't want to come over or didn't call me when he said he would. He sounded very final about things on this message even saying, "I want to be friends, but I don't think that would be good for us right now." Sooo after he left me that message, I composed myself, and called him to have a mature convo. I said I really wanted to be w/ him and would do whatever it took. I'd give him space and not expect to much of him, and just appreciate every second that I did spend w/ him. Basically our week apart made me realize 2 days a week spent with him is a lot better than none! He wasn't sure that it could work but we hung up that night saying "I love you" to each other and that we'd talk "soon" I wasn't going to call him but the next night I caved and when my roomie wasn't keeping tabs on me, I called and left a message just saying, "Just wanted to say hi, I miss talking to you." He actually called back that night and we talked not abt "us" but just about our days and stuff and hung up saying "I'll talk to you soon" The next day he called me wanting me to look over his application essay and I did and helped him with it. He called later to invite me to dinner to "talk" No talking was done till he brought me home and he said he wanted to try but that I had to do a lot of changing. Okay, so the next day he came over during the day for a while before going to work. That night (last night) I went out with my friends and had lots of fun. He called me when I was out and said he missed me. I called him on my way home and left a drunken (but nice) message. Today he came to visit me at work. He kept saying, I really want to hang out tonight. But I was going home so I was like "sorry, I can't" And he kept persisting saying, "did you have fun last night? Well, when are we gonna go to the bar together??" I think he was seriously jealous that I went out and had fun with my friends and didn't call him to invite him or act sad he wasn't coming. Now, all he's talking about is wanting to see me. I'm giving him what he wanted but now I think he sees how nice it was to have me always wanting to see him. I am sooo happy right now, I feel like I'm so lucky to have this 2nd chance and it just feels so good.

Sooo anyway, my advice to everyone is while complete NC might not work for some people, there is a way to do it partially. Don't flip out and don't act super depressed. Pretty much, if you HAVE to call your ex, just do it casually saying you "want to talk" and definitely show the ex that you are going to go out and have fun without them. If they know youre not in your room crying about them and might possibly be out fogetting them, they are much more apt to call you or try to get you back. It worked for me and I am on cloud 9! GOOD LUCK to everyone going through rough times!!!

[westernxer]

Glad to hear your romance is back on track.

 

Good for you!