SpotyLove Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I've been dating a woman for about 6 weeks. We go on about two dates per week. After half the dates I find myself very interested in her. The other half are just mediocre. I have a hard time stating this without feeling like a jerk but her appearance/presentation seems to fluctuate substantially. In particular, I find her hair style to be a big turn off sometimes. She also has a very restrained lifestyle and I'm kind of a big party animal. I find it very attractive when a woman instigates a social outing but I get the feeling she will never do this. She is also extremely nerdy (think former mathlete and band camp) and I'm not sure its for me. Finally, she reminds me a lot of a former love in bizarrely similar ways, which is both good and bad. We haven't had sex either yet. That being said, she does have some great attributes. She is an outstanding date. She never complains or criticizes. She looks great 50% of the time. She's not a picky eater. She seems very responsible. While she does act restrained, she doesn't seem bothered by my lood sense of humor. Are these doubts normal? Am I being too picky?
Eivuwan Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I feel like you two are not compatible. You care a lot about appearance and she does not seem to care as much. You are a party animal and she isn't. It seems like two completely different lifestyle choices to me. Personally, if I were a guy I would like her a lot, but them I'm a girl. Where do I go find a guy like this woman haha. Edit: I am a nerdy woman as well who do not put as much effort into my appearance as your average young woman. I cannot imagine myself getting along with you in a romantic way. 2
Assasda Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 She seems greay. Youre being picky, what else do you want? Cant have it all
Themanwithaplan Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Stick with her. Those types are rare. Who knows, you may help bring her out of her shell a little, and she may help you in some other ways as well. Sounds like a positive thing, I would try to be less pessimistic and judgemental. If you like her and she likes you, that's all that matters.
Author SpotyLove Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Stick with her. Those types are rare. Who knows, you may help bring her out of her shell a little, and she may help you in some other ways as well. Sounds like a positive thing, I would try to be less pessimistic and judgemental. If you like her and she likes you, that's all that matters. With dating, I've noticed I am judgmental sometimes. I find myself assuming a person will react in a certain way in a certain situation without actually going through the motions. She is a really pleasant gal. I have maybe been putting too much pressure. Any tips on staying positive and not being judgmental/having fun with dating?
Author SpotyLove Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I feel like you two are not compatible. You care a lot about appearance and she does not seem to care as much. You are a party animal and she isn't. It seems like two completely different lifestyle choices to me. Personally, if I were a guy I would like her a lot, but them I'm a girl. Where do I go find a guy like this woman haha. Edit: I am a nerdy woman as well who do not put as much effort into my appearance as your average young woman. I cannot imagine myself getting along with you in a romantic way. I may have painted her in an unfair way. I actually prefer a woman without makeup to a high-maintenance lady. I don't think its unreasonable to wear appropriate fitting clothing though. I just over-think things sometimes.
Themanwithaplan Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 With dating, I've noticed I am judgmental sometimes. I find myself assuming a person will react in a certain way in a certain situation without actually going through the motions. She is a really pleasant gal. I have maybe been putting too much pressure. Any tips on staying positive and not being judgmental/having fun with dating? I think everyone does this to a degree, I know I do. I believe it comes down to our own expectations, insecurities, hopes, and really everything that makes us human. We naturally want to figure everything out and know all the answers. It's not ever that simple. I find that positive human interaction is strongly influenced by how open minded and curious you allow yourself to be. There's always more to learn, see, do, and that's what makes life so exciting! Just be yourself, relax, and have fun with it!
Eivuwan Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I may have painted her in an unfair way. I actually prefer a woman without makeup to a high-maintenance lady. I don't think its unreasonable to wear appropriate fitting clothing though. I just over-think things sometimes. Well, I think you have to accept that no one is perfect. You probably have something about you that irks her. I think you have to focus on the major things you want from your partner and if she fulfills those without having major shortcomings, then don't sweat the little things. I mean I'm sure she looks the best without clothes haha. So why fuss over fitting clothing? Maybe if you guys do become an item you can buy her some clothes as a gift.
Assasda Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 With dating, I've noticed I am judgmental sometimes. I find myself assuming a person will react in a certain way in a certain situation without actually going through the motions. She is a really pleasant gal. I have maybe been putting too much pressure. Any tips on staying positive and not being judgmental/having fun with dating? What you do is you work on your own insecurities. And I get the vibe that youre terribly insecure. You try and better yourself, learn more, and then you will be better and less judgementmal. It all starts from the inside
Author SpotyLove Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 You're just not into her. You can try seeing her a couple more times, and see if that changes, but if it doesn't you should end things. She seems like a nice girl and she would be better off with someone who liked her for who she is instead of criticizing her for it. I might not be. It's hard to say. I'm so tired of dating I almost don't care anymore
BlueIris Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 You're just not into her. You can try seeing her a couple more times, and see if that changes, but if it doesn't you should end things. She seems like a nice girl and she would be better off with someone who liked her for who she is instead of criticizing her for it. I agree. Feeling blah or critical about someone within the first couple of months is a sure sign that it won't work out. Let her find someone else too.
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