AD1980 Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I'm pretty shy with women rarely approach but a foreigner was talking to me tonight it seemed like she was hitting on me and really into me but as soon as I asked for a number she ran away from me literally.. I know I shouldn't take it personally but I'm sensitive to rejection and can't help it..how so I not take that personal?
ascendotum Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I'm pretty shy with women rarely approach but a foreigner was talking to me tonight it seemed like she was hitting on me and really into me but as soon as I asked for a number she ran away from me literally.. I know I shouldn't take it personally but I'm sensitive to rejection and can't help it..how so I not take that personal? Hey you went for her number. You went of your comfort zone. that's good, and even though you got rejected it was better than going home and wondering about hey maybe that girl was interested in me, I should have asked her out. It sucks when you get a good vibe from a woman, and then get an abrupt knock back. A put down is so much easier to take when the woman handles it smoothly & maturely. When they flip out its hard not to take it personally. 1
mortensorchid Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 We're all sensitive. And it's because we have our egos smashed to pieces when we are rejected, no matter what form that rejection takes. I'm glad you took the initiative and actually asked her for her number, for that you can be happy about it. As for her rejection, Next! Move on. Life is not always fair but we just roll with it better than we did before. 2
HappyLove Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I'm willing to bet she DID like you but was so immature she literally ran away. She did you a favor I mean think about it, what SANE woman would run like that? 1
kolleamm Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 As others mentioned it sounds like you need to be rejected way more. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have been rejected it's literally in the 500s area, but it does pay off, had I not tried I would have never meet a few special women I do not regret meeting to some extent. Come on, you just gotta get back up, 1 rejection is practically nothing. Every time you will learn something and perfect your game, but if you never try how will you ever learn anything and get better? 3
Gaeta Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 You've got to know what you're doing when you are approaching women in public. I am used to dating but when I get approached by strangers in public I panic, run off and then I regret bitterly because the man was to my licking. I blush, I feel put on the spot, and don't know what to answer. That is why I always say it's better YOU give HER your number!! She will take it and when the `stress`of being hit on passes she will probably text you. Good luck next time 1
Author AD1980 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 Apparently she asked my good looking friend for his number later that night story of my life lol
HappyLove Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Apparently she asked my good looking friend for his number later that night story of my life lol It happens to all of us. On to the next!
kolleamm Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Long story short, 99.9999% of the time it will not work out with the first, or second or 40th woman you meet. It starts to pick up in the 100s. Just think about it, does everyone have to like every person they meet? That's why you gotta expand your options, different people think differently.
Mo_Do Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Get rejected more often. After a while, you will be able to laugh it off. I've been rejected A LOT. I really don't care anymore. This ^ I don't even flinch anymore
Author AD1980 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I don't even know what are proper signs anymore after this..now I won't believe a girl is into me outside of telling me herself
Potz4prez Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 You've got to know what you're doing when you are approaching women in public. I am used to dating but when I get approached by strangers in public I panic, run off and then I regret bitterly because the man was to my licking. I blush, I feel put on the spot, and don't know what to answer. That is why I always say it's better YOU give HER your number!! She will take it and when the `stress`of being hit on passes she will probably text you. Good luck next time And then the poor guy is stuck sitting by his phone all week? No way. Better a quick rejection than a death of a thousand cuts.
lord-christoph Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Look at it his way OP: she did not reject you, she rejected your approach. You weren't rejected because she doesn't know you, she doesn't know who you are, what you like, or your potential as a date or boyfriend. Rather the way you approached that road unsettled her. Your approach and TIMING is what matters, and this is something that is honed with practice, and practice requires failure, which means rejection like the others have said. But I repeat, they don't know you, and its not YOU they reject. They reject they way and the timing by which you approach interest with them. With this example you present, you jumped the gun. You should have continued talking, lightly flirting, getting her comfortable with you over time, but not as a friend, as someone interesting and challenging. Patience goes a long way. 2
Author AD1980 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Look at it his way OP: she did not reject you, she rejected your approach. You weren't rejected because she doesn't know you, she doesn't know who you are, what you like, or your potential as a date or boyfriend. Rather the way you approached that road unsettled her. Your approach and TIMING is what matters, and this is something that is honed with practice, and practice requires failure, which means rejection like the others have said. But I repeat, they don't know you, and its not YOU they reject. They reject they way and the timing by which you approach interest with them. With this example you present, you jumped the gun. You should have continued talking, lightly flirting, getting her comfortable with you over time, but not as a friend, as someone interesting and challenging. Patience goes a long way. No it wasn't that..she got my friends phone number an hour later she simply wasn't attracted to me
Easyguy14 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I'm pretty shy with women rarely approach but a foreigner was talking to me tonight it seemed like she was hitting on me and really into me but as soon as I asked for a number she ran away from me literally.. I know I shouldn't take it personally but I'm sensitive to rejection and can't help it..how so I not take that personal? She actually took off on you? That's disgusting. I wonder if she was talking to you simply out of politeness but it was wrong for her to lead you on.
Dallers Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 OP facing rejection is very difficult and if you came here to hear something to make you feel better you will not get it. Why? Because we all faced rejection in the same way and we did not get sympathy from others we got beaten into us to man up, accept it and use this experience to become a better man. That is what the other people in this thread are doing, trying to show you the error of your ways and why feeling sorry for yourself or dwelling on it will not help you progress or get the girl as she has already said no, and no means no. I remember my first couple of rejections, god I felt like crap. I blamed it all on me of course, my looks and how pathetic of a man I was and it wasn't until I read a few books and listened to others hammering home some firm advice that I realised that I was awesome and since then I have got nearly every number I have gone in for. It might well have been me at the time the reason why I was being rejected or my approach but that does not matter because I should have been learning from my mistakes not dwelling on them. People let rejection eat away at them and waste years of their life. Rarely will asking a girl out go perfectly but it does not matter, she either likes you or she doesn't there is nothing you can do about it and you will always try and blame yourself when actually it is her first opinion of you and your first interaction that will always be to blame, unless she is taken or married. Accept that you cannot have everything you want. But learn that you are still what women want, just not that woman.
Author AD1980 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 OP facing rejection is very difficult and if you came here to hear something to make you feel better you will not get it. Why? Because we all faced rejection in the same way and we did not get sympathy from others we got beaten into us to man up, accept it and use this experience to become a better man. That is what the other people in this thread are doing, trying to show you the error of your ways and why feeling sorry for yourself or dwelling on it will not help you progress or get the girl as she has already said no, and no means no. I remember my first couple of rejections, god I felt like crap. I blamed it all on me of course, my looks and how pathetic of a man I was and it wasn't until I read a few books and listened to others hammering home some firm advice that I realised that I was awesome and since then I have got nearly every number I have gone in for. It might well have been me at the time the reason why I was being rejected or my approach but that does not matter because I should have been learning from my mistakes not dwelling on them. People let rejection eat away at them and waste years of their life. Rarely will asking a girl out go perfectly but it does not matter, she either likes you or she doesn't there is nothing you can do about it and you will always try and blame yourself when actually it is her first opinion of you and your first interaction that will always be to blame, unless she is taken or married. Accept that you cannot have everything you want. But learn that you are still what women want, just not that woman. Thanks dude I know your right I just have to get out of my own head..I know I'm too sensitive it's something I'm working on..I think the fact that my friend does so well with women makes me feel inept at getting women especially after I found out he got her number I figure it's because he's better looking then iam
spiderowl Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 It was a strange reaction on her part. If someone doesn't want to give you their number, they could carry on chatting and just change the subject. I wouldn't take it personally. You meet all sorts of people in life, some are good and decent and some are very strange. See if you can learn anything from the episode. Were there any clues she might not be interested in dating? Body language, lack of eye contact, and so on. I know that guys don't always pick up on subtle signs so maybe learning a bit about those might help. The next girl you chat to might react totally differently.
Dallers Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Thanks dude I know your right I just have to get out of my own head..I know I'm too sensitive it's something I'm working on..I think the fact that my friend does so well with women makes me feel inept at getting women especially after I found out he got her number I figure it's because he's better looking then iam I see the same thing, people settling down and getting married and finding their ideal partner and it makes me sick haha. We just have to keep fighting and we need to do this in every aspect of our life, meeting new people, friends, job and family. Improve all aspects and you improve. Rejection is the best thing there is for confidence if you take it the right way. I started by going for street approaches and amazingly I even got a couple of numbers lol I went in expecting straight up rejection and got it. It makes coffee shop approaches look like peanuts. It is dog eat dog in this world. Train yourself and you will become a better man. I highly recommend reading Marni Kinrys book Get Inside Her. I read this when I was in your position and my god it made me realise so many areas I was going wrong. She actually began my creation of this new me I owe her so much. Her book is brilliant. READ IT.
SJC2008 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I don't understand the camp that that says you get used to rejection. All it does is reaffirm that the vast majority of women aren't attracted to you. 1
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