Should I just forget about it?

[marcjb]

About a month and a half ago my cousin told me that his fiancé's friend is interested in me. This was after he heard that my fiancé and I broke up. I told him sure, I'd be open to meeting her, but I'm not looking to rush into anything or treating anyone as a rebound.

 

The plan was for the four of us to go out to dinner together, but it would not be until they could sort out a date. He pointed her out on Facebook to me and told me that I should send her a request, so I did. When I sent her the request, I also just sent her a nice message saying "Nice to meet you. :)". We ended up conversing via Facebook for a while and then went to texting.

 

After we conversed for about a week or so, she stopped messaging me. I didn't hear from her for a week. She would usually be the one to message me, but I would also respond and be as engaging as possible. After a week, she started messaging me again all the time. She would send me good morning texts and good night texts. She would also ask me if she was bothering me or anything while I was at work, and I would respond "no of course not. I'm an open book, you're free to message me whenever you like". If she wasn't messaging me, or if she didn't send me a good morning text, I would text her after I got to work.

 

So, we finally end up getting a date set up for the four of us. I preferred to meet her in the this context since my cousin is the one that told me about her. We all go out to dinner together and it seems to be going really well so we continue it with getting drinks at another venue. My cousin and his fiancé end up leaving later on, and we stay there for about another hour. I guess my cousin and his fiancé picked her up from her place, she didn't have her car. So, I end up giving her a ride home.

 

While we are in her drive way, she said that I can come inside if I want. So, I park and we go inside. When we get inside she goes to the bathroom, and I'm just standing in the living room. She has a couple of cats that I was playing with. She sits down on the couch and turns on the TV. I end up sitting down on the couch. We did not talk much at this time, it was pretty late compared to how late we usually stay up. So I end up leaving. She walks me out and we hug. She tells me to text her when I get home.

 

I text her when I get home saying "just got home, had a great time ;)". She didn't respond so I thought she ended up falling asleep already. She texts me back in the morning saying "Glad u made it home thank you again for everything I had fun too".

 

During dinner, my cousin and his fiancé mentioned that her brother was having a get together at her brothers pool that we are invited to. I say sure, that sounds like fun.

 

So I text her back saying "my pleasure, are you going to the pool party later?"

 

She replies back saying "maybe tonight i have a lot of stuff to do here first then my friend is coming for a bit do u have a wedding thing tonight?" (I was shooting a wedding video that night).

 

I reply back saying "yea, its from 7 to 12 tonight, but i'll probably go for a couple hours. just waiting for (my cousin) to tell me what time"

 

She replies "nice".

 

Anyway, I end up going, and she arrives a bit later. We didn't end up really talking much. When she arrived I was in the pool and said hi to her. She didn't end up going in the pool. Later on I sat down next to her and just mentioned some small talk type stuff. Later on we were sitting with other people at a different table and she was holding one of the infants that were there. Again, just small talk. When I had to go, I said bye to everyone, shook some hands, and I gave her a hug bye. I also said that I wished I could stay for the bon fire and I also told her to have fun at the bridal shower they were having for my cousin's fiancé the next day.

 

I didn't contact her the next day as I'm sure it was hectic, but on Monday, I sent her a text saying "good morning how did the bridal shower go yesterday?"

 

She replied "Hey it was good thx"

 

I did not respond as I thought that was a pretty stand-offish response. I figured she would also ask how my event went or something, but nothing. She hasn't sent me anything else since then.

 

What do you guys think? I'm kind of stuck here because it does seem like she isn't interested in me now. I'm not sure if she was expecting me to make a move when she invited me inside her place or what.

 

After the pool party, my cousin sent me a text saying thanks for coming and stuff like that. I told him no problem, "(friends name) is cute". He replied saying "She's a very very good girl". I'm not sure if she is just really shy and thinks I don't like her? I figured if we conversed more, I would have asked her out on a one on one date, but that never happened due to her one-sided reply on Monday.

 

She is very nice, and I do like her, but I'm honestly not sure if we're compatible. We also haven't spent that much time together, so I can't really say. Should I proceed with anything after this? At this point I think if we don't converse again up until my cousin's wedding, it will be awkward, but it will probably be more awkward if I contact her again and she clearly isn't interested.

Edited July 4, 2014 by marcjb

[Elle1975]

She doesn't seem interested now that she has gotten to know you. That's the vibe that I get from your story.

[sterlingarcher]

These things can be very frustrating right? There is no way to know what she thinks/feels about you. Maybe she was busy and had no time to chat with you, maybe she was feeling down because of some unrelated issue, maybe she expects you to take more initiative, maybe shes shy or abit weird, or maybe shes simply not interested.

 

I suggest giving it a day or two inbetween reaching out to her. Ask her how she's doing after a couple of days, ask whats going on in her life right now or something like that. An open question that invites conversation. It's innocent and will give you a better idea of where you stand.

[preraph]

I can't tell if she is or not. Not too many women would get downright mad if you didn't try to pork them the first time you're at their house, so I doubt that. I think what I would do if I were you is I'd invite her to another group outing, maybe something a few people are attending, and just see if she's interested in going. If it's a group thing, if she really isn't interested, she could even ask if it's okay to bring a date or friend or whatever and you'd at least get a clue. If she comes to it and doesn't hang around you much, though, you might just not be compatible. Listen, women have pride too. She may be just thinking "I'm NOT going to throw myself at this guy. If he wants me, he'll have to make it clear." I would think since your friends are so involved in all this, they should be able to shed light on it.

[Assasda]

You might want to ask her questions about her self in a loser setting.

Ask her to go bowling.

Ask her a bunch of questions, sprinkle in a little innuendo in there.

Test the waters out.

Then make your mind up