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My man introduced me to a guy i was previously intimate with. !

DanaLea

By DanaLea
in Dating

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leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted
I'm trying to put myself in her and/or her boyfriend's position before I blabber some irrational sh*t.

 

How did you try to put yourself in her position? All you've done is try to tell her she should feel bad and horrible for what she's done while calling me delusional and asking if something is wrong with me. I think you're past the point of empathy.

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted
I have a really really really hard time believing that a man at work, not a friend, just a guy at work, would go up to another co-worker and tell him that his girlfriend of 1.5 year sucked his d.1ck a few years ago.

 

People just don't do that.

 

Also if OP has not seen this guy in previous events at the office it's probably because he's a newbie that just got hired. Another reason he's not going to create problems for himself at work with this type of indiscretion.

 

You obviously know nothing about workplace gossip. :laugh:

hahahaha. especially if Ted is complaining a little about her at work.

Yeah, I say if Ted and the same guys stays in contact for up to a year, that Ted will know.

  • Like 1
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
I have a really really really hard time believing that a man at work, not a friend, just a guy at work, would go up to another co-worker and tell him that his girlfriend of 1.5 year sucked his d.1ck a few years ago.

 

People just don't do that.

 

Also if OP has not seen this guy in previous events at the office it's probably because he's a newbie that just got hired. Another reason he's not going to create problems for himself at work with this type of indiscretion.

 

People talk, if he tells he's friend, then someone else, word will get around because this is not your typical boring gossip. There'll be people that really want Ted to know. This is a long shot, but he may have already bragged about this to Ted, but Ted doesn't know it's her.

  • Like 1
leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted

de·lu·sion·al [dih-loo-zhuh-nl]

adjective

1.

having false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions: Senators who think they will get agreement on a comprehensive tax bill are delusional.

2.

Psychiatry. maintaining fixed false beliefs even when confronted with facts, usually as a result of mental illness: He was so delusional and paranoid that he thought everybody was conspiring against him.

Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted
I have to go because Ted is on his way over - he sounded funny and said he wanted to have a chat as he called it. Anyway, I really really hope things don't blow up.

 

What Imported said really is the whole truth. It wasn't planned or sought or thought out (at all). We drank and got caught up in stuff that never should have happened. So it wasn't completely "accidental" but maybe a bit. So maybe if I put it that way Ted won't flip out as much. And, NO, it will never ever ever happen again.

 

I hope everything work for the best <3

Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted
de·lu·sion·al [dih-loo-zhuh-nl]

adjective

1.

having false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions: Senators who think they will get agreement on a comprehensive tax bill are delusional.

2.

Psychiatry. maintaining fixed false beliefs even when confronted with facts, usually as a result of mental illness: He was so delusional and paranoid that he thought everybody was conspiring against him.

 

You are not delioisonal

 

But here in this forum

some men like to brag and make themselves the one who break every girl heart and don't accept any nonsense

 

while in reality, they are probably crying because of some woman and they are already with another women who was with other men before them

 

yet here, they like to pretend otherwise......

 

 

In this society

 

there are few virgins and quite a lot people who are doing each other!

 

Unless you are saints or really really virgin.

 

Stop Judging!

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted (edited)
I have a really really really hard time believing that a man at work, not a friend, just a guy at work, would go up to another co-worker and tell him that his girlfriend of 1.5 year sucked his d.1ck a few years ago.

 

People just don't do that.

 

Also if OP has not seen this guy in previous events at the office it's probably because he's a newbie that just got hired. Another reason he's not going to create problems for himself at work with this type of indiscretion.

 

I tend to agree with you they generally wont do that. If the bf is fairly well respected amongst his so-workers, they will keep quiet about it. If the bf is maybe not so well liked at work or one of the guys she blew was a bit of a douche bag bragger / smartarse jerk type, then he could easily spill the beans. Not to the OP's bf's face, but just in after work drinks conversation with a couple of others at work....then they whisper to someone else, then, so on.

 

I don't think she should say anything. If she had had a ons stand with the guy she saw, and that guy interacts with her bf at work at times, then I think she should tell him. When it comes to a sports box blo job session, uh-uh, that that would make the bf's eyes pop out, especially since she told him, she's totally not that type of girl

Edited by ascendotum
  • Like 1
littleplanet Established Member

littleplanet

Posted
Posted
Yeah, I am. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. I wouldn't date a woman who did what the OP did, especially if she happened to do so with a bunch of guys I have to work with every day.

 

 

 

Sorry, but I am not. Thinking someone is an idiot because they disagree with you is rather silly.

 

 

 

Sure they are. Everyone is also allowed to have preferences. I would prefer not to date a girl who blew a couple of my co-workers.

 

 

 

I'm not shaming anyone. Just stating my views as a man, and that I would choose not to date a woman who went down on some guys I work with. If people feel ashamed after I point that out, that's on them.

 

 

Dudes:

 

I sure do hope y'all have fun dating Mary Magdalene, now.

That's if you can find her.

Good luck with that.

 

( A "hot" woman is an awful lot of fun, until you're presented with the chore of trying to keep her under your thumb)

  • Like 1
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
You are not delusional

 

But here in this forum

some men like to brag and make themselves the one who break every girl heart and don't accept any nonsense

 

while in reality, they are probably crying because of some woman and they are already with another women who was with other men before them

 

yet here, they like to pretend otherwise......

 

 

In this society

 

there are few virgins and quite a lot people who are doing each other!

 

Unless you are saints or really really virgin.

 

Stop Judging!

 

She's saying no noprblem lol he should understand, it's okay she blew his coworker and wasn't honest about her past. He should understand. That's delusional

  • Like 2
FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted (edited)

Don't ask, don't tell. There seems to be a guy code that men who cheat on their wives, or with other men's wives or have one night stands, etc., don't talk about it. Honor among thieves, I guess.

 

It was before you knew your current boyfriend and had nothing to do with him. Try to avoid that particular guy in the future.

 

The thought crossed my mind that the OP might be a fake to wind us up. Call it women's intuition.

Edited by FitChick
  • Like 2
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted

The thought crossed my mind that the OP might be a fake to wind us up. Call it women's intuition.

 

Yeah I thought of that. The OP seems like she's being really honest, something not too common here.

leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted
She's saying no noprblem lol he should understand, it's okay she blew his coworker and wasn't honest about her past. He should understand. That's delusional

 

I'm starting to wonder if you've even read the original post.

 

This guy wasn't a co-worker of her boyfriends when that whole situation happened. Stop acting as if this boyfriend was somehow "wronged" before she even started dating this guy!

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
I'm starting to wonder if you've even read the original post.

 

This guy wasn't a co-worker of her boyfriends when that whole situation happened. Stop acting as if this boyfriend was somehow "wronged" before she even started dating this guy!

 

Yeah okay :rolleyes:

leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted
If one of my guy friends cheated on his gf or wife, I wouldn't tell on him. I'd tell him I thought he was being a jerk, but I still wouldn't turn him in. Anyone else is fair game. I've called people out for cheating before.

 

 

 

It has nothing to do with being "wronged." It has everything to do with preferences. I would prefer not to be in a relationship with the type of girl that has drunken oral gangbangs with guys she doesn't know. I'd also rather not date a girl who has had sex with a bunch of guys I work with. Lastly, I want nothing to do with a girl who lies to me about things so that I will like her more.

 

No one is telling you that you should be with someone whose ideals you don't agree with. We aren't specifically talking about YOU, we're talking about a general topic and also a specific scenario the OP has suggested.

 

She didn't have "sex with a bunch of guys he works with". If you READ the post, she gave oral to a few guys when she was single during a drunken night that she regrets before she knew her current BF even existed (from what the OP says).

 

Sure, she lied, and that was ****ty of her. It still doesn't make her a bad person for making the choices she made before she even knew this guy. The shame comes from pointing this finger at her as if she is a slut and should feel horrible for what she has done in the past.

 

If a guy broke up with me because I've had sex with someone before him I would thank him for doing me the favor.

  • Like 1
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

Posted
Posted
she gave oral to a few guys when she was single during a drunken night that she regrets before she knew her current BF even existed (from what the OP says).

 

Sure, she lied, and that was ****ty of her. It still doesn't make her a bad person for making the choices she made before she even knew this guy. The shame comes from pointing this finger at her as if she is a slut and should feel horrible for what she has done in the past.

 

No, the shame comes from actions that she knew were wrong and having to face them now. You are fooling yourself if you think she didn't feel shame before creating this thread. By the way, I'm interested in knowing what your idea of a slut is.

Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted

If a guy broke up with me because I've had sex with someone before him I would thank him for doing me the favor.

 

Exactly, and if Ted left her

she should be happy now she knew he is not the kind of man she can depends on him for the rest of her life.

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted

 

If a guy broke up with me because I've had sex with someone before him I would thank him for doing me the favor.

 

Then it works out well for both of you.

  • Like 2
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

Posted
Posted

There's a difference between having sex with someone and participating in random acts of group sex.

  • Like 2
leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted

Why must she feel any more shame though? I seriously don't understand the point in making someone feel worse than they already do about a situation. I've repeated myself over and over... she already regrets the situation, we have no right in making her feel worse.

 

There is a sub thread on this site called the other man/woman. There's an unspoken rule that no one goes into those threads and make people feel worse than they already do. In the case of this post, we're talking about a situation that happened when she was not even in a relationship!

 

I don't lump people into sluts and not sluts. People make choices in their life that have no affect on me. It's my choice if I want to date a guy who has slept with 50 women or is a virgin.

leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted

So, Jay, I should just be single for the rest of my life because I've had sex with 3 men in my life?

 

You've got to be trolling at this point.

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
So, Jay, I should just be single for the rest of my life because I've had sex with 3 men in my life?

 

You've got to be trolling at this point.

 

Dude we're not on the same page.

  • Like 1
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

Posted
Posted
Why must she feel any more shame though? I seriously don't understand the point in making someone feel worse than they already do about a situation. I've repeated myself over and over... she already regrets the situation, we have no right in making her feel worse.

 

There is a sub thread on this site called the other man/woman. There's an unspoken rule that no one goes into those threads and make people feel worse than they already do. In the case of this post, we're talking about a situation that happened when she was not even in a relationship!

 

I don't lump people into sluts and not sluts. People make choices in their life that have no affect on me. It's my choice if I want to date a guy who has slept with 50 women or is a virgin.

 

The only reason the OP would feel more shame is because the discussion is forcing her to think of her own actions again. Actions that she committed, not us.

 

No, the shame comes from actions that she knew were wrong and having to face them now. You are fooling yourself if you think she didn't feel shame before creating this thread. By the way, I'm interested in knowing what your idea of a slut is.
  • Like 1
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
Exactly, and if Ted left her

she should be happy now she knew he is not the kind of man she can depends on him for the rest of her life.

 

You wanna have your cake and be able to eat it.

  • Like 1
leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

Posted
Posted

I don't lump people into sluts and not sluts. People make choices in their life that have no affect on me. It's my choice if I want to date a guy who has slept with 50 women or is a virgin.

 

This is basically what you're saying:

 

"Because you're a woman, you should not have done anything that is TOO sexual for me to handle. So, I'm going to make you feel bad and horrible about a choice you regret and remind you of it again until you feel so ashamed that you will feel like you should be dumped by your boyfriend of a year and a half".

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

Posted
Posted
This is basically what you're saying:

 

"Because you're a woman, you should not have done anything that is TOO sexual for me to handle. So, I'm going to make you feel bad and horrible about a choice you regret and remind you of it again until you feel so ashamed that you will feel like you should be dumped by your boyfriend of a year and a half".

 

No, that is what you're saying.

  • Like 2
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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