Author Gaeta Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 He wrote me another email saying I must understand that when he got there he put himself in charge of collecting money from friends so his friend could fly out to his mother's funerals and he forgot about me because of counting the money hahaha. I told him no, I do not understand, I am mad and I am not going to overlook this incident.
Eddy Street Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 My men picker has been out of function for a while so I need some feed back concerning my morning date. We contacted each other online 4 days ago. We exchanged via the website each day. He has been a complete gentleman during our online exchange. We met at a coffee & cake place. I was happy to see that he looked like his picture, maybe a little bigger but he presented well. Conversation was flowing, it felt very natural, oh and he was super sweet with the waitress so he earned some points there. You've heard me say here and there that I have a hard time getting a date with a man my age well this one is 45, that's great!! BUT he just finished his second Master Degree. He's a life long student. He has degrees in Politics and Criminology. He is NEVER going to work in those fields! There are no jobs available in those areas and people with these degrees end up working odd jobs for a fraction of their worth. He is not working currently, he finished his Master only a couple of weeks ago so now he's applying on government jobs. I don't know how he supported himself through these years of study. He lives in an apartment by himself, travels to Europe to visit family. Second thing that bothers me is he doesn't drive. He told me he is planning on getting his driver's license this year. Here it takes a 1 year course to get our drivers license so dating him would mean I am the only driver for the coming year. The date now. So the conversation was flowing nicely when suddenly he interrupts me and says : You do have beautiful lips ....that turned me off. I said thank you and went back to my story. What was that? When the date ended I said it was nice meeting him, he said he was 100% happy with meeting and asked if I'd like to meet him again. I said yes so he offered tomorrow night. He said wonderful! then you can meet me at metro station XYZ and from there we drive anywhere you want (wow got my taxi badge already!) I got out of the date kind of happy. He is a nice man, I find him good looking, he's definitely smart. Right after I met my daughter for lunch, I was still happy about my date. Then I drove home and kind of talked myself out of liking it. Weird. The lips thing was a red flag for sure. I was sort of thinking maybe this guy is fibbing about all those Master's degrees and whatnot, but maybe he isn't. The lips thing, however, is indicative of serious sexual frustration. This guy sees you as an object of sexual gratification. Don't see him again. Also, politics and criminology? Here is a man without vision.
firmness Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Yikes. What a - well - I don't even know what to call it! The original post indicates that there are two sides to this story. He said he likes your lips. And that makes him creepy/inappropriate? That says more about you than him, I am afraid to have to tell you. That is a simple, playful, and flirty comment. It is all in the context and body language. You probably reacted negatively which he picked up on. He should have ended it right there. He is very educated. That is not bad. He is getting onto a new life. That is not bad either. He does not drive - a lot of people who live in cities do not drive. Is everyone who is not like you a loser? You described a pretty cool and attractive man, and then in follow up posts basically rip him a new one. I admit some of that follow up information looks bad. But I suspect that you left out some of your stuff. We all have stuff. I wonder what he would say about all of this. I am learning so much about women on this site. So much talk about "real" and "deep" and "meaningful" and when you get an intelligent funny guy, it is all "he has no job, ditch him" etc. A lot of life lessons right here, let me tell you. All young men in America should come here and just sit and observe. OP, you sound like a nice woman and a lot of fun. I can tell you that if you pull the "I am angry" routine with a quality man, he will back away slowly and gracefully and tell you that it is not you it is him. He is not ready for a serious relationship, etc. There are reasons in life to be angry, and the scenario you paint that leads you to be angry (hell even mildly annoyed would be too much) speaks volumes about your values and character.
Lipitor11 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I think every man should own a car....that's just odd.
Divasu Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Hmm... The 'beautiful lips' comment, sometimes people aren't too savvy with complimenting another person. Could be a sign of the future, or, could be nothing but a flub. Men say stupid things all the time. You mentioned you're in your 40's? I think sometimes when women graduate to their 40's, they are less inclined to invest in a situation that isn't stable, which, it doesn't seem you are qualifying this as one (and there's nothing wrong with that...). (sidebar - I've missed posting on here the past couple of months. )
SJC2008 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 (sidebar - I've missed posting on here the past couple of months. ) I noticed. Now that you're back I'm gonna be on you like a stage 5 clanga! 1
FitChick Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Gaeta, if men keep standing you up, schedule dates during the day on the weekend in an area where you do your shopping or errands anyway. That way you won't waste your time if they don't show. Be clear that it's a meet and greet and not a date.
ascendotum Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Too bad you didn't go by yourself. Being all dressed up you might have met someone. I don't believe anything this man says. Woman's intuition. He probably realized you would be too clever for him. I wonder if he has a criminal record. He probably gave you a fake name so don't bother searching. I've noticed dating can be dangerous. Friends and relatives always seem to be dying at the last minute. You are too paranoid, and same with some of the others as for picking this guy up at the station. My parents have become all stranger danger, crime is rampant on the streets out there now as they gotten older, less confident and listen to talk back radio too much. I'm sure a number of the women in this thread have jumped into the cars (or beds) of cute guys they only just met back in their 20s. Talking to the OLD players I know + online stories from players, it seems for them first date sex is the norm. Plenty of women are doing much more intimate stuff than sitting next to a guy they just met online. I know it doesn't have to mean every woman has to be the same, but how many OLD axe murders have there been out of the 100 millions of dates. She just need to keep her wits about her or meet somewhere in the city. I think others are reading too negatively between the lines on some aspects with this guy. Like he is a creep or dreaming of a bj because he found G has great set of lips, or that he doesn't know what time the last train on the line is, and needs G to look it up, or that he is going to mooch of her or is expecting her to be his taxi driver all the time. I certainly think he blew it though, by not being more organized with the date, as someone said to make up for his lifestyle short-comings + txting her 10 mins before the meeting time. I think she is doing the right thing moving on from him, but too much aspersions cast on all potential suitors is not ideal either, more so when they are not coming in thick & fast. Edited July 8, 2014 by ascendotum
Leigh 87 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 He wrote me another email saying I must understand that when he got there he put himself in charge of collecting money from friends so his friend could fly out to his mother's funerals and he forgot about me because of counting the money hahaha. I told him no, I do not understand, I am mad and I am not going to overlook this incident. hahahahahaha! Making up his friends mother had a funeral....classic. These losers never cease to amaze me:lmao: I once had a guy make up that his dog was paralysed and his mother went to hospital:sick:
Author Gaeta Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 You are too paranoid, and same with some of the others as for picking this guy up at the station. Last year I was held against my will in a man's car for 40 minutes. He scared the hell out of me. After our date he wanted to give me a ride back to the metro station because it was raining. He never stopped at the metro station, he drove 40km across the city telling me he was so happy meeting me he was keeping me for the day. He finally dropped me 40km away after I promised him I'd see him the following day. There are creeps out there. 1
PegNosePete Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Last year I was held against my will in a man's car for 40 minutes. He scared the hell out of me. After our date he wanted to give me a ride back to the metro station because it was raining. He never stopped at the metro station, he drove 40km across the city telling me he was so happy meeting me he was keeping me for the day. He finally dropped me 40km away after I promised him I'd see him the following day. There are creeps out there. Didn't you have a cellphone to call 911 help I am being kidnapped?
Author Gaeta Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 Didn't you have a cellphone to call 911 help I am being kidnapped? My purse was on my lap, he took it and put it on back seat (while driving), he put his hand on my thigh and said: I am so happy we're gonna spend this day together. I quickly analyzed the situation and concluded I had better chances to get out of this by talking myself out of it than by screaming and fighting my way out of a car driving 100km/hr on highways.
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