Jfg22 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Long story short,me and girl had an argument. things were said , tempers were lost. There was confusion and anger on both sides .I lost my temper and was disrespectful to her ...(I had recently started taking some medication due to learning disabilities at work and was super stressed at work and was feeling really edgy and irritated) we talked and I thought things were going to work out but the last night I saw her, she said before she left that she was frustrated by the relationship and I got irritated and suggested we take some space ...like a week off ....next day I freaked out and realized it was a mistake and tried to talk to her...she was distant and cold and angry....we argued again and she said that she couldn't do this anymore....I got upset and asked how she could be so cruel and turn her back on someone that love her and she hung up after I lost my temper. I immediately so immaturely deleted and blocked her off social media and didn't talk to her for three days....after which I sent her a text and apologized and said I wanted to give her space,no answer. Days after every so often I would send a pathetic message begging for her to talk to me and basically made a fool of myself...she never responded. I finally let it go and then out of the blue she responded and said that she was sorry she didn't respond but she wasn't ready to talk and didn't know what to say but that after thinking about it that she didn't think want to end it without being friends but that she wasn't sure I could handle that but that was the only option...I sent back a text that said I was fine w that and I'm glad we are working on healing and that's all I wanted..she never texted back..so days pass and nothing ...I decided to go no contact and when I told my client at work about it, she said I should make one final plea and make a sincere effort to let her know that I loved her,I was sorry and that we should sit down and see if things could be worked out or if we could walk away as friends .i wanted to fight for her ..I didn't really want to try to be friends ,I wanted to be back with her ...not realizing I was being selfish and not working on myself prob would irritate her...but I sent it w high hopes and her response was fair but left me feeling hopeless...she basically said that there wasn't much left to say but that the fact that I wanted to sit down and tell her "what happened" that I've already told her over and over that it was the medication. I wasn't myself ,she said I get that. She just sincerely wanted to have a friendship but if that's all if I'm willing to accept.She said she felt it would be cruel to offer friendship because I would feel like it could turn into a relationship again and that she didn't want to be mean and dangle that in front of me...she said we had so much between us ...chemistry and love but that she thinks the compatibility isn't there ...we are both too emotional and headstrong....and that was the end ...I was devastated and realized it was over for now....I let it go and broke down for days after....sometime after four days later ...about eleven at night I got an alert on both my social medias that she friend requested/re added me?? This makes no sense...she doesn't try to contact me and we are done and she wants to be "just friends " so why add me ? I'm not reading in to the re add. I don't know what to do , every day that passes by I feel more and more scared ....I need help to figure this out and I want to know what the chances are that she might contact me at some point.....I re added her just to show her that I do want to be friends truly once some time has passed and heal and I've been working on looking at the reasons for our breakup and what I can do to be a better partner....I'm doing it for me because I don't want to ever feel this ashamed about myself again...I let her down and hurt and disappointed her....I truly love her w all my heart .i just don't understand because just three and half weeks ago she made me a picture frame w all our pictures and a handmade wood frame w our favorite poem....she was so loving and now so cold ,I know she is hurt and she checked out emotionally before she ended it but is there any hope?? I know that she's been staying home and hanging out w friends...there isn't anyone else that I know of ...is she still thinking ? I've tried to look like I'm busy on social media doing things and being productive ...any advice you guys could give me would be so appreciated...I've decided to do no contact for 60 days and work on being busy and work on myself...and then after those days maybe send some flowers after that to see if anything had changed...anyways ....thank u
Author Jfg22 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 Thank u to everyone that read this so far....feels good to get it off my chest
acidrein_08 Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Man I'm sorry, thats tough. Sometimes it really is too late to realize what you need to fix in a relationship. You're over analyzing things and thats normal thats what we all do, we try to pinpoint the exact reasons for why that person left. Truth is though it isn't all your fault. Sure there were things you could probably have done better, there are things you need to work and improve on. This is the time to focus on yourself and work on yourself. Trust me I know how it feels, we all do. You feel like she is the one and there is no one out there to replace her. It's simply what your mind is telling you. You are weak and powerless when someone leaves you and vulnerable. Sadly you didn't go no contact to begin with as it is very crucial in the healing process. You need to stop all forms of contact, you need to stop looking at her pages on social media. Don't make plans to send her flowers in 60 days you've already reached out, way too many times, and all it has done is hurt you. And if you do it again it will just bring you right back to where you are now. Hopeless. You have to learn to be happy with yourself before you can ever work on things with her. No contact works, one way or another, it's the only thing you have left to do. If she texts you, you can't respond, if she calls you then don't answer. You've apologized, you've said what you needed to say. The only way it will ever work out is if SHE chooses (and you can't influence this unless you become the happy confident person she fell in love with) to. For example, she might text you "I miss you", well thats great, she's thinking about you and she is actually missing you and reaching out. Your first instinct would be to message her back but DON'T. It takes a lot more than missing someone to get back together. She is just experiencing something you have been experiencing every day since she left! If she wants to fix things then SHE will make it clear, don't put yourself back out there until she does you don't want to risk her knowing you are still waiting there for her, becuase then she can take however long she wants or do whatever the hell she wants becuase she knows she always has you to fall back on. Take control of this, it's up to you. If you give in again you might never get another chance. 1
Author Jfg22 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 Thank you man, I sit here w tears in my eyes as I read this....you have no idea how much that helped...seriously thank you and I will,I'll keep fighting...it's hard to go every day knowing that someone has lost all feeling for you and you have no idea what is happening or if anything will in the future....all I can do is keep telling myself it's gonna be ok...
Author Jfg22 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 Has anyone had any luck or experience w a girl talking to them at some point after quick feeling change on her part? Does this usually suggest another person ?
Eagle755 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I've been in your shoes man.. it gets much better. Its not all your fault. A relationship takes 2. In your case, I don't think there's another guy she's talking to, I mean it happens, but from what I can see, there isn't. And even if there was, already, then you're lucky to get out. If anyone can move on that quickly, then they don't deserve you. 1
Lovemeagain Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I'm sorry that you are going through this Jfg22. I also take medication that messes with my moods. I feel like it makes me into a different person and I cannot control it. My ex knew of this but unfortunately it became too much for him to handle and he told me that he needed a break. He said that he wanted to be friends and that he would call me soon. He just needed some time for himself. I believed him...and what do you know, he still has not called me. Ive been doing NC for 16 days and I had my moments of break downs and after evaluating how I was I realize that I looked pretty pathetic. Everyone told me that because I wanted to make it work so bad that's what made him stay away from me so much. I feel so stupid now but I am taking it day by day. I hope that you are doing better. It's the hardest when I am alone with my thoughts of him. I try to stay busy and put on that "i don't care and I'm fine face" so that people don't ask me "what's wrong" but it's hard. Take care Jfg22
Author Jfg22 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I didn't think so either...guess I'm looking for something to understand why she's not talking to me at all....I feel like I'll never talk to her again ...Amd that feels terrible....thank u. I would say not knowing is one of the worst things an happen to a person..
Author Jfg22 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Thank you@ love me again...yes taking medication has really messed things up...I still take it just to maintain myself but I don't think I'll be taking it much longer...really seemed to affect my mood and make me short tempered...I'm sorry that guy sounds like a cowardly person for not facing this with you but some people can't handle things ....someone who can is right around the corner....
Author Jfg22 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 I'm now starting week 2 of no contact since her last text message to me...I can't believe that someone who cried about how much they loved me could be so cruel and cold and childish to not ever say one word to me again....the images in my head of all the memories are still so brutal...It's hard to even work on myself because I can't stop feeling so bad...part of me wants to send an angry text asking what I did that was so wrong? But I know that's gonna push her further and further ...the silence is deafening
Lovemeagain Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 That's how I am, too. It's been a little more than 2 weeks of NC and I can't believe that he won't even text or call me. Before he couldn't not call. Now he could care less if I was dead or alive. If I did get into an accident he wouldn't even know. So much for I love you so much and you are my everything...blah blah blah. I'm nothing more than gum on his shoe that he's trying to scrape off.
Author Jfg22 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 Hang tight...I'm on week 2 now and I'm fighting hard not to send her text after text...I look at my phone and hope every single time that she is starting to soften and think about contacting me...I don't even care at this point for what...i will win her back and I don't care what it takes
Author Jfg22 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 I saw my ex today ...she didn't see me..she looks so happy and free...it hurt so bad...she still hasn't contacted me and I'm thinking of thoughts of sending her an angry message to tell her all the things I should have said...I don't care at this point...I just want her off and gone from my social media and let her know that it wasn't ok what she did
Author Jfg22 Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 I broke nc today and called her...she said she was sorry and that she was glad I called ...she told me she's at peace now and had clarity about the situation and felt that the way we reacted to situations wasn't good and we were both to similar and emotional...she didn't make any future plans w me and basically just was friendly and didn't express anything as far as missing me or wanting to make plans...I don't know what to do...
sugarlove Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I broke nc today and called her...she said she was sorry and that she was glad I called ...she told me she's at peace now and had clarity about the situation and felt that the way we reacted to situations wasn't good and we were both to similar and emotional...she didn't make any future plans w me and basically just was friendly and didn't express anything as far as missing me or wanting to make plans...I don't know what to do... Don't feel too bad about it. Things are still pretty raw at the moment. You followed your heart, so you did what you wanted to. Being at peace is a great thing.. sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned, but the way it was meant to be. Learn from this and then find someone else to give your love to. You'll do well.
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