preraph Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 So sorry you had to deal with that at the same time as everything else. I know you did the right thing saying goodbye to them. Let someone hang around after they have betrayed you and they know they can do it again and worse and you'll put up with it. I learned that the hard way. Take some time and pamper yourself and go do things that are fun alone or with your real friends and replace those bad memories with good ones. 1
writergal Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 So sorry you had to deal with that at the same time as everything else. I know you did the right thing saying goodbye to them. Let someone hang around after they have betrayed you and they know they can do it again and worse and you'll put up with it. I learned that the hard way. Take some time and pamper yourself and go do things that are fun alone or with your real friends and replace those bad memories with good ones. This^^. As soon as someone betrays your trust cut them loose or they'll just keep doing it again and again and hurting you.
Author aemm Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 This^^. As soon as someone betrays your trust cut them loose or they'll just keep doing it again and again and hurting you. Thanks guys! My friend only cares about herself. She insists she has tonnes in common with this man. When she had a bf she would stay at his apartment until 5am and discuss how unhappy she was in the relationship with her bf. he was a back up for her. It was hard for me to get over him because he and her would ignore me. She told me they talked everyday because they understood each other. He is a divorced man who was with a woman for 8 years. She is with a new guy every 6 months. Her last bf was a year and a half long but she knew it was ending because of his career. She borrows money off guys and owes one of her exes 2000 dollars. She is a lost soul looking for someone to rescue her.
Author aemm Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 This^^. As soon as someone betrays your trust cut them loose or they'll just keep doing it again and again and hurting you. Also what is it when ppl try to bend the truth to fit their own needs? This guy would tell me how I was amazing and wanted to be with me for 2 months, but now he says I shouldn't care about him dating my friend because we only hung out a handful of times. Then my friend tells me if I was over him I wouldn't care and I need to move on. This is why I had to get them out of my life. They both try to make a fool out of me.
writergal Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Also what is it when ppl try to bend the truth to fit their own needs? This guy would tell me how I was amazing and wanted to be with me for 2 months, but now he says I shouldn't care about him dating my friend because we only hung out a handful of times. Then my friend tells me if I was over him I wouldn't care and I need to move on. This is why I had to get them out of my life. They both try to make a fool out of me. I agree with you that they both tried to make a fool of you by downplaying your feelings and their behavior in this situation. Not nice at all. I think both of them saw you as an easy target and took advantage of your trusting nature. When people bend the truth to fit their own needs the way that guy did with you, I consider that an example of emotional abuse. Why? Because he led you on to think he was interested in you when actually he was interested in your friend. He manipulated you and that's not ok. Doesn't matter if you have depression or whatever your life situation is. He didn't respect you to begin with. That guy's actions reminds me of a Dorothy Parker poem (love her!): “By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.” Clearly your female friend is more concerned with her love life then her friendship with you, if she's wiling to dismiss your feelings about the way she swooped in and started dating a guy she knew that you had developed feelings for. You are definitely better off without those people in your life.
Author aemm Posted July 10, 2014 Author Posted July 10, 2014 I agree with you that they both tried to make a fool of you by downplaying your feelings and their behavior in this situation. Not nice at all. I think both of them saw you as an easy target and took advantage of your trusting nature. When people bend the truth to fit their own needs the way that guy did with you, I consider that an example of emotional abuse. Why? Because he led you on to think he was interested in you when actually he was interested in your friend. He manipulated you and that's not ok. Doesn't matter if you have depression or whatever your life situation is. He didn't respect you to begin with. That guy's actions reminds me of a Dorothy Parker poem (love her!): “By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.” Clearly your female friend is more concerned with her love life then her friendship with you, if she's wiling to dismiss your feelings about the way she swooped in and started dating a guy she knew that you had developed feelings for. You are definitely better off without those people in your life. Thanks! She can't stand being alone. I actually think they both ignored me for months because of this. He told me he still doesn't want a serious relationship...his divorce was just finalized. He was separated when we were seeing each other. She threw away a 14 yr friendship for a man who still doesn't want a serious relationship. She just craves attention. Even when she has a bf she admits to flirting with men...especially to get free stuff like drinks. I never thought she would betray me though.
soccerrprp Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 The man and I were just seeing each other. He ended it because he said I wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want to hurt me. My friend ignored me because she said I was too difficult to deal with because my anxiety was getting the best of me. Okay, it was low of your gf to ignore you and then take your man, though it seems he left for good reasons. Frankly, your beef should only be with your gf. She was, it seems, not there for you. Your bf may have had enough and you'd only been dating for 2-months, right? No one deserves to be or should be with someone who is unhealthy. Then again, I don't know what you put your ex and gf through. Having problems is not an excuse for being mean, etc. Also, the title of your post seemed like you were the victim....eh, it sounds more like your ex and gf are saying they are the ones tired of your drama, stuff...
Author aemm Posted July 10, 2014 Author Posted July 10, 2014 (edited) Okay, it was low of your gf to ignore you and then take your man, though it seems he left for good reasons. Frankly, your beef should only be with your gf. She was, it seems, not there for you. Your bf may have had enough and you'd only been dating for 2-months, right? No one deserves to be or should be with someone who is unhealthy. Then again, I don't know what you put your ex and gf through. Having problems is not an excuse for being mean, etc. Also, the title of your post seemed like you were the victim....eh, it sounds more like your ex and gf are saying they are the ones tired of your drama, stuff... My beef isn't with him. He doesn't owe me an explanation. I didn't cause any drama. I would send my friend msgs just asking how she was doing and if she wanted to get a coffee. She would ignore me. I have always been there when she needed. She kept snapping at me lately though. She admittedly confided in the guy about her bf troubles. I didn't cause any drama. I even asked her if it was okay to pursue her friend before I made any moves. As soon as she was single she started hanging out with the guy more. It's been 3 weeks and they already started dating. Please don't talk about me being unhealthy because I battle depression. I went for help and do everything I can to get better. My friend is bipolar so we used to always discuss our issues. Also when she was ignoring me she would post pictures on Facebook of them hanging out. They have only been friends for the last 6 months. I have never done anything mean to her. I'm not being mean when I say she flirts with guys for attention...it's true. She has never been single for more than 3 months and most if her relationships are only for 3 months. Edited July 10, 2014 by aemm
soccerrprp Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 My beef isn't with him. He doesn't owe me an explanation. I didn't cause any drama. I would send my friend msgs just asking how she was doing and if she wanted to get a coffee. She would ignore me. I have always been there when she needed. She kept snapping at me lately though. She admittedly confided in the guy about her bf troubles. I didn't cause any drama. I even asked her if it was okay to pursue her friend before I made any moves. As soon as she was single she started hanging out with the guy more. It's been 3 weeks and they already started dating. Please don't talk about me being unhealthy because I battle depression. I went for help and do everything I can to get better. My friend is bipolar so we used to always discuss our issues. Also when she was ignoring me she would post pictures on Facebook of them hanging out. They have only been friends for the last 6 months. I have never done anything mean to her. I'm not being mean when I say she flirts with guys for attention...it's true. She has never been single for more than 3 months and most if her relationships are only for 3 months. This sounds like your gf wanted "him" for herself. Not so sneaky on her part. 1
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 This sounds like your gf wanted "him" for herself. Not so sneaky on her part. This is what I pointed out at the beginning of this thread.....you saw it too, no one else did.
Author aemm Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 She doesn't seem to think what she did is wrong. I told her I can't forgive her unless she apologizes. She ignored me and then started hitting on the guy who hurt me. She says she values our friendship but she is treating me like a doormat
Recommended Posts