FitChick Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Why do people waste time texting? If you had heard her voice you'd have a clearer idea of her intentions. 3
ktya Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 She's moving back home. I specifically asked her on Sunday if it would be inconvenient for her on Friday, she said she would check to see if her family had any plans. On wednedsy she verfied there were no plans and she was free. I asked her if a different day was better and I got a " Friday is fine " The girl is packing to move. Shes got a lot going on. Packing is something that requires two hands so shes giving you short answers to your texts. Shes distracted. Hopefully you went on the date. Shes probably looking forward to your date and was busy trying to get a lot done so she could make time for you. You are not the centre of the universe.
MissBee Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) The conversations we have before meeting are what lands a man a date with me. So frankly, if I'm already bored of your texts and think you're bad at conversation I'm not going to bother to arrange to go out with you. If you are boring and unenthusiastic I guess I'm not that optimistic and don't foresee you mysteriously becoming interesting in person, so I end it before we meet as your boring conversations also make me bored and immediately disinterested. For me it's ALL about conversation. So it starts with what's on your profile, what you said in your messages on the dating site to me, how we've been conversing on the phone (I don't give men my # so they can continue to send me written messages, i.e texting. I give them so they can call and I can hear their voice and have a more personable conversation and feel them out a bit more). If you can make me laugh and we can have a decent conversation and I want to talk with you more...that lands you the in-person date as now we've built rapport and have something to look forward to. Example: with my current bf, we met online, and on our first date it was natural and relaxed because we spoke on the phone several times before and already had little jokes and stuff we spoke about that when we met up, we could make natural conversation based on stuff we already knew about each other and little jokes we laughed at before etc. Not to mention he planned an EPIC date, best first date ever, because in our phone conversations he got a sense of my personality, what I liked to do etc and actually planned a date that included some activities I always wanted to try but hadn't tried before and also including food I liked. If he was boring and unenthusiastic and we couldn't even have a decent conversation he'd have never known those things, as the dry, one word conversation wouldn't have even gotten there. If you are boring and only say one word....going out with you is going to be awkward as no rapport has been built at all and it's even worse sitting across from someone trying to make conversation when they're boring, with nothing to go on but trying to ask them basic questions. I want to gouge my eyes out just thinking about it! If I am pulling teeth before we meet, suffice it to say, there will be no face to face meeting. Anyway, chick in question definitely wasn't all that interested so it was best not to go out with her. You definitely want to go out with a woman who is enthusiastic and seems to want to meet you as much as you want to meet her. Edited July 5, 2014 by MissBee 1
MissBee Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 What's she packing for? It is a holiday. Maybe she felt inconvenienced by the timing but didn't know how to say 'how about a different day?'? It doesn't really matter what she's packing for IMO. The problem is her response was dry and unenthusiastic. It's not what you say but how you say it and I think someone interested wouldn't have said it like "Don't know...I'm still packing" and leave it at that, come on. You would be a little more enthusiastic and provide options like "I'm still packing, so I don't know, but can I let you know by X day? Or if that doesn't work, does Saturday work instead?" That's what interested people do. We all have lives and responsibilities...but when you are interested in doing something you make it known. Even if you can't do it now or need to reschedule, you are enthusiastic about it. Simply saying "I dunno" with NO follow up or other option presented sounds like you aren't interested. And if she doesn't have enough social common sense to do that, why bother with her? I wouldn't personally. 1
FitChick Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 ...it's ALL about conversation. So it starts with what's on your profile, what you said in your messages on the dating site to me, how we've been conversing on the phone ... I can hear their voice and have a more personable conversation. If you can make me laugh and we can have a decent conversation and I want to talk with you more...that lands you the in-person date as now we've built rapport and have something to look forward to. This is how I operate. I thought it was common sense, but evidently not, at least on this forum. Saves time, wear and tear in the long run. 2
Mo_Do Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 As someone else said on page 1, if they are bad at texting they are usually bad on the phone and just flat out dry and boring in person. Let her find a dry and boring guy and you forget about her and find someone else. Good move to move on from her - don't send anymore messages. 1
fred123 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 how does a guy know if she just aint interested in the guy or if she just is busy packing
Author Keenly Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 how does a guy know if she just aint interested in the guy or if she just is busy packing The busy packing stuff is a load of crap. You don't pack 24 hours a day for 6 straight days. Even if she was busy packing, she told me Friday was good for her, then the night before she switched it to " I don't know " when I asked her if we were on. that was the moment the axe hit the chopping block. I asked to confirm a date for the following morning, and I got an " I don't know " . If you don't know if you want to go on a date 5 days after I asked you, you aren't worth my time.
deathandtaxes Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 The busy packing stuff is a load of crap. You don't pack 24 hours a day for 6 straight days. Even if she was busy packing, she told me Friday was good for her, then the night before she switched it to " I don't know " when I asked her if we were on. that was the moment the axe hit the chopping block. I asked to confirm a date for the following morning, and I got an " I don't know " . If you don't know if you want to go on a date 5 days after I asked you, you aren't worth my time. Screw the 'I don't know' noise bigtime. move on to another. I would take a date over packing every day of the week. It would be a sweet relief.
babycakees Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 No! Go ahead and bail! I did this once too! I was texting with a guy I met through OLD and most of his responses to my texts were, "lol" or "ok" or the worst...."idk" I felt horrible about it, but when I texted him and asked him where he wanted to meet up and he said "idk, you?" ARGGHHH!! How do you even carry on a conversation like that?! Most people find it easier to communicate via text, so what would conversation of been like during our first meeting? Yeah. No thanks.
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