umirano Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 She was probably high or drunk. Complained about a language setting in an online account I once set up for her. In the second and last sentence she wants her things back. It appears she sent the e-mail at a very unusual time of the night. It's a little sad. Last time she told me to not do anything with her things because we will be getting back together. I'm okay, not going crazy or anything. I was hoping she'd become calmer and more mature. But the way she phrased the message it looks like things haven't changed much. :/
daisydook Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Dr Phil is right on this one. Lol. "The best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour." I haven't spoken to my ex in close to a year and a half now. He has messaged me up until I started dating again seriously. He has finally decided not to message or call anymore and finally seems to understand I am moving on. I was single for a year and didnt want him then. I think he understands now that I am taken, he really has no chance. I have also changed jobs and moved. It would be a lot harder to find me I dont think he has changed one bit and if I went and knocked on his door today, he would be the same as he was the day I left him. He hasnt changed and I know this. He is still the same person he always was. I just didnt know who he always was. 2
Author umirano Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 Yeah, what bugs me is that she was always so sure about us (when we got first together and I wasn't sure we'd make it). She always was extremely optimistic about us and brushed all my concerns off. And when we broke up she said, she'll take her time off but she knows we will be back together. And she is a good person, she does care, she was honest and loyal, and she was strong. She went through very tough times in the recent years. She was never a negative angry person. I just would be much happier if she'd be contacting me out of a position of strength and self-confidence. Then we might actually stand a chance living up to her earlier assertions. IDK, maybe I still have her on a pedestal in a way. But I have never been with a person so optimistic and easygoing, I wonder where that part of her is buried now.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Unless you responded, she didn't break your No Contact. No Contact is an individual thing, not a team thing. Only you can break your No Contact. 3
Author umirano Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 I guess that depends on the definition of contact. She contacted me. She knows I want NC. She never agreed with that. I haven't initiated contact ever since BU. Today she asked her things back and suggested I tampered with her account. I don't have any of her passwords and even if, I'd never do that. I have managed not to look at her profile ever since we broke up, without blocking her. I just don't. I'm over her in the sense that I can conceive living a life without her. I offered sending her her things before, that was when she told me not to touch them. I have no problem sending her things back. I don't know where she lives now so I asked for an address. Nothing more. I replied to one breadcrumb of sorts before, more because of pity for a relative of hers who I like a lot, than having my hopes high. I'm happy to send her things off. It'll finalize things. No Contact is good to avoid heartache.
Author umirano Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 About after a week she came back. She asked me whether I "hacked" her account, yet she was able to send an email from said account. I replied and denied politely. I added a description of how she can secure her account. I'll mail off her things today as per her other request. I have a feeling it's not really about her account, I don't see how her account is even "hacked". I'd never hack an ex's account of any sort, nor have I passwords of hers. If I did I'd just erase them at BU. Again the email was sent in the middle of the night. It looks odd. I think she's finding excuses to contact me (the hacking allegation) and trying to provoke me by demanding I send her things back, which she made me keep to "mark her territory" and asked me to keep even after BU "because we will probably be back together in a few months".
NoLeafClover Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 (edited) About after a week she came back. She asked me whether I "hacked" her account, yet she was able to send an email from said account. I replied and denied politely. I added a description of how she can secure her account. I'll mail off her things today as per her other request. I have a feeling it's not really about her account, I don't see how her account is even "hacked". I'd never hack an ex's account of any sort, nor have I passwords of hers. If I did I'd just erase them at BU. Again the email was sent in the middle of the night. It looks odd. I think she's finding excuses to contact me (the hacking allegation) and trying to provoke me by demanding I send her things back, which she made me keep to "mark her territory" and asked me to keep even after BU "because we will probably be back together in a few months". Do what I did. I had enough of the push and pull games and finally decided to just sent her stuff back via mail and go NC forever..Do the same but keep the gifts she gave you. It will show her you are not f***ing around. Depends how she looks at it, but to an outsider, it shows you're being respectful to your ex by sending her stuff back out of respect instead of just throwing her/his stuff away. If you want to be crappy, then send her gifts as well but make sure you block her from everything/phone/emails etc. If you decide to send her stuff, be prepared for mean messages/emails or even calls.. Edited July 11, 2014 by NoLeafClover
Author umirano Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 Hehe, I'm just back from the post office. Yeah, I kept the gifts. I'm a no non-sense kind of guy. She asks me to keep her stuff bc she wants to get back with me? Sure, whatever. I asked her where I should send her stuff to when we BU, she went ballistic on me pretty much. A few weeks later out of the blue I supposedly hack her accounts (the mere idea of this seems crazy to me, beside the fact that it is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions). And she wants her sh!.t back? You got it. I have blocked her. The only way she can reach me is by email. I'm not going to contact her, nor have I ever since we BU. I think it's driving her mad that I'm acting so aloof. I'm not really though. If she were to have a real conversation, about the one thing that I care to converse with her about - then I'd be open to talk to her. For anything else she can kiss my dumped a55. Oh yeah, and before we talk anything, she'll apologize for accusing me without any base whatsoever of cyber stalking her. Man, this chick is so out of touch with reality right now. For the past few weeks I've been pining over her, sure. I've imagined what it'll be like if we get back together. I've wondered what she's doing and whether she got a grip on her life yet (which is why she claims to BU in the first place). Well that seems answered... But I've kept strict NC. I haven't even looked at her profiles or those of friends. Zip, zilch, nada, niente. I've never stalked anyone, no exes, no prospective GFs, no one. Stalking someone is pretty much the lowest you can sink when it comes to retain dignity and self respect. That girl starts to piss me off now... Or someone else is stalking her and she thinks it's me. Uagh... the whole drama is absurd. Our BU was civil and more or less mutual (I broke up with her a week before the final BU). I have no clue where she gets the idea from that I'm now somehow trying to fnck with her. But what can you do... If you decide to send her stuff, be prepared for mean messages/emails or even calls..Well, she asked me to mail them to her... Why on earth are people like that. They pretty much bark an order and when you comply they get pissed. But yeah, I expect some kind of emotional impact on her when the cardboard box full of memories is ditched on her doorstep. Good riddance, my dear...
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