HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I was chatting to a guy on a dating website and we swapped numbers and started to text, I asked if he worked at the moment and he said no he was between jobs.. no huge issue but then I asked what happened to his last job and he said "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked" I read it and for me that was it I lost all interest. He text again and asked if I was okay and I was totally honest with him and said that I have a child and walking out of jobs with nothing else lined up in this economic climate doesnt really sit well with me and I am very sorry, I said he seems a lovely guy but that worries me and I dont really want to pursue this. He messaged back with "Lol its your loss u aint all that yourself" It made me feel really bad and I dont know if I was too hasty, on a side note I hate text speak too! x 1
Lernaean_Hydra Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 You have a kid and this guy has no job and no prospects. There's nothing there for you there. 2
PegNosePete Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 "Lol its your loss u aint all that yourself" This should not make you feel bad. It should make you feel as though you were correct to say what you said. What a douchebag. 4
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Yes you were too hasty about the job. You don't know in details the reasons why he quit, it could have been an unbearable situation that requires leaving on the spot. He gave you a generic answer,he did not have to go into details yet. Second you don't know his financial situation, why assume he'll be struggling while looking for another job? He could have savings and personal assets to carry him comfortable till the next job. Third, you don't know him and he may be extremely resourceful and 1 week is all he needs to find another job. And last, yes you have a child, and it's yours to financially support. Throwing at a guy you have not met that he's a bad prospect because you're looking for more financial stability because of your child is practically telling him you are out there on dating websites looking to be financially supported by a boyfriend. That being said: His second reply wasn't the best and it was a passive aggressive reaction to your rejection. What did you expect! You put him down without knowing his story. 7
stillafool Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I can't believe you are even questioning your decision. This guy sounds like a complete loser. L-H is right, you have a kid and need only to entertain men who are responsible and mature.
PegNosePete Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 He gave you a generic answer,he did not have to go into details yet. Well his exact words were "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked". I think this tells OP everything she needs to know about the suitability of this guy and how well their lifestyles and personalities will match. 5
morrowrd Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 People who quit jobs impulsively, are......impulsive of course, along with irresponsible. Do the math; Impulsiveness + Irresponsible = needs a babysitter, not a girlfriend. 1
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 She could have asked what happened and judge from there. 1
GoreSP Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I was chatting to a guy on a dating website and we swapped numbers and started to text, I asked if he worked at the moment and he said no he was between jobs.. no huge issue but then I asked what happened to his last job and he said "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked" I read it and for me that was it I lost all interest. He text again and asked if I was okay and I was totally honest with him and said that I have a child and walking out of jobs with nothing else lined up in this economic climate doesnt really sit well with me and I am very sorry, I said he seems a lovely guy but that worries me and I dont really want to pursue this. He messaged back with "Lol its your loss u aint all that yourself" It made me feel really bad and I dont know if I was too hasty, on a side note I hate text speak too! x LMAO trust me you dodged a bullet there...
somecamel Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Well his exact words were "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked". I think this tells OP everything she needs to know about the suitability of this guy and how well their lifestyles and personalities will match. I'm with pegnose on this, Online dating is not real dating so don't take it all too seriously, just move on a find someone else to chat to, being a female I doubt you'll have any problems there:) Lucky escape me thinks
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 People who quit jobs impulsively, are......impulsive of course, along with irresponsible. Do the math; Impulsiveness + Irresponsible = needs a babysitter, not a girlfriend. I have been in the work place for many years and have seen situations where people had been put against the wall and had no choice but to quit. When I met my ex he was 'in between jobs', he had just quit his last job. I had a 'oops' moment and decided to see him again and see what he was about. Three weeks later he got a job at 85K a year, the following year he was starting his own company that turned into a huge financial success.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 She could have asked what happened and judge from there. If there was more to the story surely he would've thought to mention it? Every grown adult knows not having a job and quitting your last rarely makes you an attractive candidate so it's natural someone with more to share would have already had a clear explanation lined up. 3
PegNosePete Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 When I met my ex he was 'in between jobs', he had just quit his last job. I had a 'oops' moment and decided to see him again and see what he was about. Three weeks later he got a job at 85K a year, the following year he was starting his own company that turned into a huge financial success. And did he phrase it "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked"? Or did he sensibly and maturely explain the situation, using proper English spelling and grammar? I am not saying that the OP did the right thing to ditch this guy because he is jobless. I'm saying she did the right thing because the way he wrote it made him sound like a complete douche. And his vitriolic response to her rejection confirms this. 10
Andy_K Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 And did he phrase it "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked"? Or did he sensibly and maturely explain the situation, using proper English spelling and grammar? I am not saying that the OP did the right thing to ditch this guy because he is jobless. I'm saying she did the right thing because the way he wrote it made him sound like a complete douche. And his vitriolic response to her rejection confirms this. Exactly! I mean... It amazes me that there are so many decent, smart guys on this site and elsewhere who find online dating tricky (myself included) yet here is a jobless angry man who writes like he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic, and has a girl wondering if she should have given him a chance. There weren't better options? Really? Maybe the real problem with online dating is that so many girls are a really terrible judge of character? 3
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 And did he phrase it "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked"? Or did he sensibly and maturely explain the situation, using proper English spelling and grammar? I am not saying that the OP did the right thing to ditch this guy because he is jobless. I'm saying she did the right thing because the way he wrote it made him sound like a complete douche. And his vitriolic response to her rejection confirms this. That was not her first conversation with him so if she allowed it to escalate to phone exchanged it's because she was ok with his grammar and spelling as well as his choice of words. I would not give my number to a man calling me babz but apparently it's ok with her, right!
morrowrd Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I have been in the work place for many years and have seen situations where people had been put against the wall and had no choice but to quit. When I met my ex he was 'in between jobs', he had just quit his last job. I had a 'oops' moment and decided to see him again and see what he was about. Three weeks later he got a job at 85K a year, the following year he was starting his own company that turned into a huge financial success. I have my doubts that the story here is about someone with their back against the wall. Your ex is an exception to the rule, probably in the category that this guy isn't - someone with very marketable skills, on the professional scale, and replacing his job wasn't as big a deal, simply a matter of getting his resume out. Most average americans aren't in that category of late...especially in this economy. And the majority of people who have committments, say like I do, property/mortgage, car payments, food on the table, etc..... quitting a job without another one lined up is just plain stupid. Mr. Impulsive here that the story is talking about, if he's in the position to abruptly quit a job and it didn't affect anyone or anything in his world, probably has nothing to offer anyone other than himself and his irresponsible behavior, (which I'm going to assume based on his "intelligent use of language") as he walks off a job. 1
Emilia Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 "I got fed up bein mugged off babz so walked" I read it and for me that was it I lost all interest. I could not ever date anyone that sounded this imbecilic. Regardless whether he walked out on his job or not. Who texts like this? 4
veggirl Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 what does "mugged off babz" mean? were they stealing from him? "mugged"? 1
Emilia Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 what does "mugged off babz" mean? I think he perhaps felt he was working too hard for too little reward. Perhaps. Hard to tell.
PegNosePete Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 As always, Urban Dictionary to the rescue Urban Dictionary: mugged off 3
Emilia Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 As always, Urban Dictionary to the rescue Urban Dictionary: mugged off Aaaaaah good call. Even worse
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 That was not her first conversation with him so if she allowed it to escalate to phone exchanged it's because she was ok with his grammar and spelling as well as his choice of words. I would not give my number to a man calling me babz but apparently it's ok with her, right! I wasnt okay with it but I wanted to give him a chance and not judge a book by uts cover but the job thing kinda cemented it and yes I did feel bad, of course, I know jobs can become intolerable like my two full time jobs are, jeez I feel mugged off every second of every day but I get on and do it until I have something else x
Sulayman Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 She could have asked what happened and judge from there. I totally agree with you. but i don't understand why you women, your first question is always about job,financial situation, money ... ? what about personality, character, morals ...?!! i'm really confused 1
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 I did go on that first like I said he seemed a really nice guy but I can't cope with being in a RS & building a future together to come home & find out he's walked out of another job .. I think I'd constantly be on edge x
Baller25 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 "Lol its your loss u aint all that yourself" It made me feel really bad and I dont know if I was too hasty, on a side note I hate text speak too! x You're better off without that broke-ass chav (I assume that you are in the UK). Any guy that responds that way is a loser for life and probably doesn't take rejection kindly even though they get rejected all the time (you know the type). Guys that use text speak think that it makes them look cool (I was that guy years ago when texting started to pick up), or are aware that it's a turn off but still use it because it's not like they could write properly anyway. You're a single mom so I get that you need to lower your standards, you are better off alone than with guys like that.
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