SteakandSalad Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 (edited) Hi all. My ex and I dated for 5 years and he broke up with me almost a year ago due to not knowing what he wanted anymore. He has blown hot and cold ever since (as in kissing, cuddling every now and again then always comes to the conclusion he wasn't ready to date me again and wanted to be friends, oh now I love you, no I never said that , we're so different now, oh but I want to be with you etc). I met another man a few months after we broke up and after a few weeks of getting to know each other I had to admit to him I wasn't over my ex enough to continue so I bowed out. While I was seeing him, my ex came back full force trying to win me back which I found extremely annoying. So it ended with the new guy, I keep to myself a while then my ex keeps comes back trying to hang out so we hang out a little here and there, then as soon as he knows I'm not seeing the new guy he backs right off again and does all the previous things i mentioned being hot and cold. This has been going on for almost a year and I'm tired. I have the opportunity to start seeing the new guy again but I'm struggling to commit due to 1. My family loves my ex. When I brought the new guy to meet my parents at a function they were quite unwelcoming! 2. All our friends are mutual and I would feel bad bringing a new guy into the group (I know that's petty) 3. I'm in love with the person my ex was when we were dating and I keep thinking he'll change and 4. My ex hates (seriously) guy 2 and has even said if I dated anyone else he would be fine but if I date this guy he is out of my life forever, which I find hard as we grew up together and then become lovers. 5. Ex and new guy are TOTALLY different. New guy has great ambitions, but can be hard to read due to past bad experiences. Ex has no ambitions/drive but was a total sweeheart apart from his latest behaviour! 6. My friends wouldn't accept the new guy. One of my girlfriends met him and she says he's nice but I fear everyone will compare my ex and him. It's so hard moving on, I do like this new guy but I'm scared, scared, scared! I am in my 20's btw and have had 4 boyfriends, ex was the longest. Thank you! Edited July 4, 2014 by SteakandSalad
PegNosePete Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 1. My family loves my ex. When I brought the new guy to meet my parents at a function they were quite unwelcoming! Then let your family date your ex, if they like him so much. If they are unwelcoming to your new guy then tell then to stop being rude to your boyfriend. 2. All our friends are mutual and I would feel bad bringing a new guy into the group (I know that's petty) You're right, it's petty. 3. I'm in love with the person my ex was when we were dating and I keep thinking he'll change and Well, unfortunately he is not the same person. He has shown you exactly what will happen if you take him back. You'll be in an endless cycle of hot and cold. Is this what you want? 4. My ex hates (seriously) guy 2 and has even said if I dated anyone else he would be fine but if I date this guy he is out of my life forever, which I find hard as we grew up together and then become lovers. Let him make his own choices. You make yours. Don't base your life on someone else's opinions and don't submit to EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. Your ex is sounding like a right manipulative SOB. 6. My friends wouldn't accept the new guy. One of my girlfriends met him and she says he's nice but I fear everyone will compare my ex and him. Then they are not your friends. Who cares if they compare?
Assasda Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Hi all. My ex and I dated for 5 years and he broke up with me almost a year ago due to not knowing what he wanted anymore. He has blown hot and cold ever since (as in kissing, cuddling every now and again then always comes to the conclusion he wasn't ready to date me again and wanted to be friends, oh now I love you, no I never said that , we're so different now, oh but I want to be with you etc). I met another man a few months after we broke up and after a few weeks of getting to know each other I had to admit to him I wasn't over my ex enough to continue so I bowed out. While I was seeing him, my ex came back full force trying to win me back which I found extremely annoying. So it ended with the new guy, I keep to myself a while then my ex keeps comes back trying to hang out so we hang out a little here and there, then as soon as he knows I'm not seeing the new guy he backs right off again and does all the previous things i mentioned being hot and cold. This has been going on for almost a year and I'm tired. I have the opportunity to start seeing the new guy again but I'm struggling to commit due to 1. My family loves my ex. When I brought the new guy to meet my parents at a function they were quite unwelcoming! 2. All our friends are mutual and I would feel bad bringing a new guy into the group (I know that's petty) 3. I'm in love with the person my ex was when we were dating and I keep thinking he'll change and 4. My ex hates (seriously) guy 2 and has even said if I dated anyone else he would be fine but if I date this guy he is out of my life forever, which I find hard as we grew up together and then become lovers. 5. Ex and new guy are TOTALLY different. New guy has great ambitions, but can be hard to read due to past bad experiences. Ex has no ambitions/drive but was a total sweeheart apart from his latest behaviour! 6. My friends wouldn't accept the new guy. One of my girlfriends met him and she says he's nice but I fear everyone will compare my ex and him. It's so hard moving on, I do like this new guy but I'm scared, scared, scared! I am in my 20's btw and have had 4 boyfriends, ex was the longest. Thank you! ....And youre just the damsel trapped in the middle of all this, huh? "Oh what shall I do?" - no report about your behavior in any of this. Value yourself more, maybe that will help
Recommended Posts