thislover Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 (edited) Long story as short as possible: Met up with this girl for a couple of dates aware that she was seeing someone else - they were not exclusive (which I was okay with). Expected awkward dates and generally speaking didn't see much coming from it. Was pleasantly surprised after we met up as we really, really hit it off and had chemistry. She had broken up after a rough, long-term relationship where she was cheated on and immediately jumped into another "relationship" thereafter. From the sounds, the other guy was meant to be a rebound but turned out to be a good guy after all, which is why she continued to see him. I came into this picture after meeting her and asking for a date being told that she was looking for a true connection with someone else as the other guy and her had their differences, and although he has been good to her she did not feel necessarily that they were compatible. Anyways, she meets me and we hit it off immediately (as per above) and she admits that if the circumstances had been any different we'd be good to go for further dates which would have led to a serious relationship. However, the situation has changed since the other guy has made a proposition of exclusivity. Because she feels that he has been good to her so far she has made the decision to go along with it to see how it fares. I have no problems with this and have made it clear as such. However, I do like this girl very much. I meet women all the time and it's rare to meet one that: a) hits it off with me in terms of conversation (we are in the same tune), b) has exactly the same beliefs and values as me in regards to relationships, and c) is attractive to me as I to her - mutual. As you can see, this is hard to let go of. However, she has made her decision for the time being. I've therefore 2 choices for which I need your opinions on. Because I like her a lot as per above, and I feel that if we were to ever have a relationship we'd make a great couple, I'm willing to wait around a bit to see what happens. During this time should I: 1) Keep in touch every so often by reaching out and see how she's doing in order to remain in the picture should any opportunities arise; or, 2) Cut contact altogether and wait for her to come around. I am hesitant with this option as I feel that I may just lose her altogether. And because I like her, I always get the urge to want to communicate with her, see how she's doing, make her laugh, etc. etc. but I cannot do this as it has now become inappropriate to do so as she has become exclusive with the other guy. What do you guys think? Any other ideas? Thanks. Edited July 4, 2014 by thislover
ja123 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Option 2. Although tell her specifically that you're going NC and why, including respect for all those involved (her, him, and you!). Tell her that you really like her, and that if it doesn't work out with this guy to contact you after she's had some time to get over him. You'd like to hear from her then and the ball will be in her court. In a way, you should be grateful that the other guy is the rebound guy and that it's not you. There are no guarantees that you'll hear from her again, but I have a hunch that you eventually will. When? Who knows? Your job is to treat yourself well, put her out of your mind, and keep an open-mind as to finding a connection with someone else. You never know, it's possible that another great girl is right around the corner. Good luck!
Author thislover Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 Option 2 it is. Either I'll never hear from her again, or by the time I do, I might have moved on. Timing sucks.
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