HarSef Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Hey, I'm new here but I could really use some help. I'm 21 years old, I ended up liking a friend (she's 25) but in the process ended up destroying our friendship and everything. We worked together for a month and also attend the same school, diferent major but same semester. It's a very, very long story but I tried to be complete and detailed. Thanks! Well, this started about a year ago at my former workplace. We met around the last days of May, at our training course. At first, I didn’t find her attractive (she is quite pretty but nothing over the top). We were added to a facebook group with our other workmates, and the next day she got to me and we started speaking. Turns out we attend the same University and we have a few acquaintances in common. After that, we ended up bonding pretty quickly and we turned into friends. Everything was pretty cool, and at the moment there was nothing else between us. At the beginnings of July she had to drop out of work due to some health problems, but we mantained contact via facebook. As far messages go, she always answered and when she didn’t she would apologize later. Then the semester started on August, we had seen each other from afar a pair of times before I invited her to a football game, but she told me she was going with her friends. Whe met at school and talked, when it was possible I would walk alongside her to her car, or kept company when her mother or brother were picking her up. Each time we spoke she smiled a lot and she is a very good listener. Also she used to laugh at my (more often than not) terrible jokes and whatnot. It was not until the beginnings of November that I realized I liked her. It was a rainy day and we bumped into each other, and like usual I stayed with her until they picked her up. I asked for her number but she had forgotten it at home and told me she was going to send it to me via facebook (she never did) , and after that meeting I dazed off thinking about her a lot. I began thinking about her… After that day, I sent her a few facebook messages, but she never responded back and saw them 2 or 3 days later. We bumped into school once more, while she was going into her next class. I walked with her and after speaking a bit I asked her out (something casual) and she told me she would like to but she was very busy with school and wasn’t free until December. When I get home, at night, I noticed she had restricted me on facebook: we were still friends, but I couldn’t see her photos or posts that weren’t public. A few days later, during December, we bumped after finals and like always I walked with her. She didn’t seem angry, and she actually gave me her phone number. The next day we saw each other again, and she introduced me to her brother and everything seemed normal. However, I was still facebook restricted. I sent her a whatsapp during new years, but she didn’t respond. A week before last semester started, I sent her an inbox asking her if she was in the city already, but no response. When classes started we bumped a pair of times and, once again, everything seemed normal. She didn’t look angry, she greeted me with a smile and was very receptive when we spoke. I gave her a flower for Valentine’s Day, and she seemed very happy about it. She looked at me in the eyes for the whole time after that, laughed at everything I said, etc. That same day she unrestricted me a little (I could see her posts, but not photos). After that, I hadn’t seen her for a few days so I sent her a whatsapp (a Wednesday) asking her if she was free on Saturday. She didn’t answer, and on Saturday that week she blocked me off whatsapp. I was a bit distressed, I didn’t know what I had done so I went and buyed her a flower and a few chocolates and waited for her. I asked her if she was angry at me, if I had done something to upset her. She told me she wasn’t mad, and we actually spoke nicely. She was a bit reluctant to take the flower and chocolates, but she ended up accepting them. I tried to ask her out that Saturday again, and she told me she was going to think about it. Come Saturday, and I sent her a message asking if she was up to something. She asked me about why did I want to go out with her. After that, she told me she was dating someone already and didn’t want to give another impression about us. I told her it was alright and that I was sorry for the trouble. I was thinking on giving up on her, but when we saw each other at school she seemed interested in me… A friend told me to tell her what I felt, that it was the only way of moving on. So I did, I waited for her one day, walked to her car with her and I told her I liked her a lot, and a lot of things I liked about her (like her eyes and her smile). While I told her this, she looked at me in the eyes for the whole time, tilting her head a bit and crossing her feet and whatnot. Her “body-language” seemed to me, she was very into me. I told her I wished her the best with her boyfriend, and she quickly said he was not her boyfriend (and as far as I know, she was dating nobody or nothing came out with that guy). We didn’t speak again, but we greeted each other as we passed by. One day, I was helping a friend out at his job, a plant nursery, and I collected some flowers to give them to this girl. When I did, she told me to never do that again, that we were nothing and that I was making her uncomfortable. I responded that the flowers reminded me of her, and I just wanted to make her day a little better. I mentioned that if it really mattered to her, I could take the flowers back but she refused. We spoke about how I tended to be a bit explosive about emotions when it mattered (like soccer and such), she got into her car and went away without even looking at me. When I got home, I sent her an apology via facebook, which she saw in the morning next day. Then, in the afternoon, she blocked me off facebook. The complete, you can’t see anything about her block. And she even blocked me off Twitter even though I didn’t followed her (I know because I tried following her after the events haha). I tried to reach her to apologize in person, but everytime I saw her I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her, for about two weeks. I might have come off as creepy, as when I finally built the courage to speak to her, she saw me walking towards her from afar and she turned around and walked away, faking a cellphone call and everything. Of course, since I’m and idiot, I ran to catch up with her and speak, but she was very unreceptive. She answered no to everything, told me she saw me everywhere and that she didn’t want to speak to me. She avoided eye contact at all costs while saying that I was bothering her, that it bothered her that I walked along her to the car and that I made her uncomfortable. I asked her when we could speak this out, and she told me “next time we see each other” and walked away telling me not to follow her. I avoided her at all costs, taking other routes around school. A friend (and the internet) told me to write an apology letter if she was still unreceptive, so I wrote one. A month passed, and we finally saw each other. I was expecting her to still be mad, but it really threw me off that she actually greeted me and told me to “Forget about it.” We spoke a bit, and while we did she looked at me in the eyes for the whole time (again) and she was playing with her hair and moving a little, etc. But, like the imbecile I am, I gave her the letter anyway. The next day we passed by each other but she ignored me completely. A week after that, I bumped into her at the parking lot and we spoke for a while. She told me that she had read the letter, that I was too insistent and she didn’t like that, and that things between us weren’t working out. I said that I didn’t want anything with her beyond a friendship, and that I thought she was someone worth being around. That I would like to keep in contact with her. She told me she didn’t want to be in contact with me and that I couldn’t force someone to speak to me. I conceded and we parted. I dated a pair of girls after that and though both were okay, nothing happened and I just couldn’t forget about her. A month later (early June) I called her to ask how she was doing and if she was up to hanging out and speaking things out. She answered shortly to the small talk (yes, no, etc.) and when I asked her she told me I already knew the answer. I told her I wouldn’t bother her again (she said “please”) but I wanted to know what I could do to change her opinion of me. She told me nothing. Then I asked when would it be possible to see each other and try to fix things. She told me never. Finally, I mentioned what did she think about me or why she got that opinion of me. She answered that she didn’t want to be offensive. I responded “Don’t worry, do your worst.”. She told me she was going to hang up and after a few seconds, she did. That was the last time we had any form of contact (about a month ago). Luckily for me, the World Cup has helped me to not think too much about her, but I still want to know what I should do about her. I don’t have trouble speaking to girls, but I’m not really the type to fall in love easily (I’ve only had one girlfriend in my life). I’m also normally very confident about myself, but this girl made me doubt...I really appreciate her, so if she wants me out of her life I gotta do it. However, I want to know if there is a chance we can, at least, end up on good terms. I still have feelings for her, so I think a friendship between us is difficult. Also, we will eventually bump into each other at school, so what shoud I do? Should I call her in a week or so to try and speak things again or wait until I see her in school, which could take a long time? Sorry for the LONG story, but I tried to be as detailed as possible to get the best feedback. Thanks in advance!
flitzanu Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 ok, seriously man? exactly what about this girl's actions make you think she wants to even speak to you? at this point you're lucky she hasn't called the cops. what you're doing is harassing and stalking, and you should stop doing it RIGHT NOW. she's clearly told you many times now that she doesn't want anything to do with you, she blocked you on social media and turned you down every time. she doesn't want a friendship and you're freaking her out.
David87 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 OP just stop what you're doing it obviously doesnt work. Its done she moved on.....try doing the same.
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