krista28 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 (edited) recently...well actually about two years ago me and a serious boyfriend broke up. it was hurtfull and hard...tok a long time to get over it...there was a lot of biterness. recently he got a new girlfriend where ive had nobody that you could really even consider a boyfriend since then. he put this picture up of him and her on facebook and they look so happy...he even moved to the town shes in to be with her ( thats where his sister lives) so its like all his and my memories are gone now( he had a house here)> I hadnt thought about him in awhile but i thought about him last night...and about talking to him again....maybe i just miss our relationship. it hurts sooo much to see him with another girl..i guess thats not normal but it cuts to the core of me....since we almost got married. it just doesnt seem fair..that he is so happy,, even tho he treated me badly and we werent right for eachother....now hes lost weight and actually is putting in the effort for a relationship..it hurts and seems very unfair. We were almost engaged..it really doesnt seem fair ....were not going t be together anytime but its really hard to see that picture of them two. hurts a lot. i am not dating anyone everyone on here gives me a hard time...but yes me and this guy were almst engaged and this was a meaningful relationship i cant let go of. Edited July 4, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs, edit title and move to BBU
Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 My ex cheated on me hundreds of times. He is now with the girl of his dreams. A model look alike ten years younger than him. She also has a genius IQ and she is a carer for people with brain injuries. He isnt respect me,.cheated on me and didn't ever buy or do nice things for me. Then he gets the girl of his dreams who I am sure he is wonderful to. Sh it happens. Deal with it. I was well over him by a year. I fell for another man mere months after my ex. I am sorry you're upset..how would you like us to help you overcome your setbacks? We can all tell you about our own heartbreak and what helped and what hindered us but that's all we can really do. 3
Mrin Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 So one suggestion - don't be friends with him on FB. I am friends with all of my exes except for the most recent. It was just too hard. So I completely cut her out of my life and that includes FB. Still hurts but you don't have to worry about it hurting again in the future. 5
soccerrprp Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 (edited) recently...well actually about two years ago me and a serious boyfriend broke up. it was hurtfull and hard...tok a long time to get over it...there was a lot of biterness. <snip> Sorry. Life is often unfair it seems. Those who deserve, wait or never get while those who hurt others seem to get what they hoped for. You know that you got out of a bad relationship. You miss the instances of good, the idea of being in a relationship, the what could have been....but, it could not have been a good relationship in the long term. You know that. Your ex was and is not for you. Stop looking at his FB. Edited July 4, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edit quote 2
me85 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Been there. I'm really sorry you're going through a difficult time. I certainly understand where you're coming from. Be sure that no relationship is perfect and people rarely change. People use Facebook as a front. What's done is done and what's gone is gone. There's no easy way to heal. Just let time do it's thing. My ex bought my engagement ring to win me back then a month later he left me for someone else. They're still together. It's hard to see the light from where we are but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Of that I'm sure. Pain is weakness leaving our body and hurt only makes us stronger. Hang in there. 2
preraph Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I feel bad for you and I get it. But that said, like you said, he seems to have had no problem moving on which seems like that happens all too often. But if it makes you feel any better, realize guys are pretty happy if they're just getting laid regular and women are reaching for the stars, the whole package, so yes they're going to be able to move on quicker but who knows if it will last. The important thing here though is that you've got to now discipline yourself to stop focusing on him and try to force yourself to move on. Do completely stop following his Facebook and block him from everything of yours so every time you post something, it's not in the back of your mind Is he watching me to this. That's step 1. Then you have to make a genuine effort, whether you feel up to it or not, to contact friends and make them keep you busy doing fun things. Every time you catch yourself thinking about him, make yourself think of two bad things for every one good one. It really is a discipline to become unfocused on someone. You can't move on until you completely close this door though. So close it. Good luck. 1
stillafool Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Try to stay away from FB. It will only set you back.
Mr.Pine Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 he put this picture up of him and her on facebook and they look so happy... Block him on Facebook. Problem solved. Next! 1
Author krista28 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 Its just hard I meam I found out that he moved away like pretty far to kinda be with this girl. His sister lives there too. So the house here and everytging about our memories is now gone. He gave our dog to his parents.... hes renting his old house out that we lived in. Its tough.
Noproblem Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 It's so unfair ... Life is full of injustice things.. Don't be that girl. That girl whose ex got his happily ever after and she ended up envying him and crying about her bad luck. Do something to change your story. Meet new people and date new guys until you will have your happy ending. PS. There is no such thing as the happy ending, but whatever, you get my point!
Mr.Pine Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I found out that he moved away like pretty far to kinda be with this girl. The only friggin' reason you found out, you masochist, is because you refuse to block him on Facebook. I think you enjoy the self-torture. It makes you feel alive. Like a gambler who prefers to feel the feeling of losing over winning. It gives them a bolt of adrenaline when they lose a big hand. Winning? Boring. Losing? Fireworks. The relationship ended. A long time ago. You are keeping the stinking, rotting corpse of it alive by perusing his profile pictures. Sick. Really sick. You need to stop.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 You are keeping this ignited every single time you check up on him, had you have not kept looking you would not be thinking this now it would have burnt out but whenever you look you pretty much revisit the whole thing and reignite it in your head... you are doing it to yourself and you have to stop looking x
loversquarrel Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 You are looking to hold on to hope, and every time you hope to see something other than what you find, you are crushed. It sucks and it must be painful. Have you used some introspect as to why your relationship failed? Usually it takes two to mess things up, and if he treated you poorly why are you still feeling the way you do? What did your piece of the blame pie look like?
Elle1975 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Youve obv never been deeply in love It's not about being deeply in love, it's about you refusing to accept the situation for what it is. You know it's over, but you are stuck in the past. The dog, the house, him, it's all gone. There is absolutely no point in torturing yourself over what could have been. To love someone deeply doesn't mean staying stuck for months grieving over your dead relationship. Your period of grief isn't a gauge of how much you loved him. You're not the only one who was in love with someone, and was left with nothing but their eyes to cry over the break up. The difference between you and the rest of those people? They actually decided to get back up.
me85 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 (edited) To love someone deeply is to let them go. To love someone deeply is to wish them well. To love someone deeply is to want them to be happy in life, even if it's not with you. If you really loved your ex and YOURSELF you would accept that it's over and move on with your life. So if you don't want any of these things for your ex then you do not love him neither truly nor deeply. Have you ever thought maybe it's just your ego/pride that's really hurt? Edited July 4, 2014 by me85
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