Cyber friends/relationships - what are your experiences?

July 3, 2014

I'd like to know if anyone has had a correspondence with a cyber person and met them (or even if you didn't meet, why not?)

I have been friends with a guy for nearly 10 years (started speaking at age 13) and we are finally planning to meet in a month. We've seen each other through a lot of trials including bereavement, relationships etc...and have always kept in contact even when travelling the globe! We always sign off with love and now when I really think about it it feels bizarre that I'm going to be meeting someone I love but have never met! It's making me a bit nervous, really.

When I first met my friend he lived over 5 hours away but ended up moving around 1 1/2 hours away a few years back. He asked me on a few occasions to meet up but I didn't - don't even really know why - think I was just scared of how much the relationship could change! But now, I think, life is too short.

So that's my story what's yours? and any tips? (ps. I am not going to be catfished! We used to talk on the phone and webcam all the time).

July 4, 2014

So you were just kids when you met. Sort of grown up together.

What you describe does resemble a friendship.

You're not 'cyber persons.' You're just two people who have kept in contact for 10 years through the use of technological mediums.

Meeting for the first time - after all that time, will be a powerful experience.

It could be either extreme, really.

Or it could wind up feeling just as normal as your communication has been all this time.

You won't know which one until it happens.

I have a number of friends scattered around the planet, but real life friends have always been center stage.

So can a long distance friend be a real life friend too? Sure.

Your anxiety comes from the fact that this feels like more than friendship.

No matter how you add it up, ten years is a long time to wait.

You've grown up in the meantime.

And that.....has the makings for a powerful friendship.

This is something that may enhance romance.................

or it may not. (Be prepared for either.)

Why you didn't meet before - you had your reasons.

And your friend respected that. Good for him.

Those butterflies are gonna feel marvelous on the big day.

Meeting now....will be what it is.

Chances are no matter what happens, it probably won't kill the friendship.

July 6, 2014

So you were just kids when you met. Sort of grown up together.
What you describe does resemble a friendship.
You're not 'cyber persons.' You're just two people who have kept in contact for 10 years through the use of technological mediums.

Meeting for the first time - after all that time, will be a powerful experience.
It could be either extreme, really.
Or it could wind up feeling just as normal as your communication has been all this time.
You won't know which one until it happens.

I have a number of friends scattered around the planet, but real life friends have always been center stage.
So can a long distance friend be a real life friend too? Sure.

Your anxiety comes from the fact that this feels like more than friendship.
No matter how you add it up, ten years is a long time to wait.
You've grown up in the meantime.
And that.....has the makings for a powerful friendship.
This is something that may enhance romance.................
or it may not. (Be prepared for either.)

Why you didn't meet before - you had your reasons.
And your friend respected that. Good for him.

Those butterflies are gonna feel marvelous on the big day.
Meeting now....will be what it is.
Chances are no matter what happens, it probably won't kill the friendship.

Thanks littleplanet, you read my mind about my anxieties! What made you think it felt like more than a friendship from my post?

In honesty the friendship has always been platonic. And there is no reason for me to think it won't continue to be after we meet. I think tiny seeds of doubt were planted when he used to joke that I was exactly his type and would lavish me with compliments whenever he saw my pictures. He is very attractive but nothing had ever made me think of him romantically. I think knowing everything about each other almost removes that element of mystery needed for romance?

Since then we've both had partners and that stopped years ago. So my thinking is that we've probably been friends long enough to not feel anything more than that but then keeping each other at a distance has kept that secure and untouched. The friendship chemistry has always been there - I'm just nervous in case the meeting uncovers another of type chemistry! I almost hope not. I'd just like to have a really nice meeting with a great friend.

July 6, 2014

My ex and I met online back in 92. The difference there is that it wasn't the "internet" proper but rather a local BBS. We met IRL shortly thereafter through the social functions held by the BBS. Fourteen years later we started dating. It was always weird when people asked how we met: "online... in 1992!".

July 6, 2014

My ex and I met online back in 92. The difference there is that it wasn't the "internet" proper but rather a local BBS. We met IRL shortly thereafter through the social functions held by the BBS. Fourteen years later we started dating. It was always weird when people asked how we met: "online... in 1992!".

Exactly! With my friend, I've definitely only told close friends about us. He also became quite friendly with an ex of mine. As for him? I've got no idea who he has or hasn't told about the friendship. I think it seemed relatively normal at one point, but now may seem like a strange explanation...

July 6, 2014

My man and I met online rather randomly. We hit it off so well that it progressed from email to instant chatting to texting to phone to Skype. After about 4-5 months of constant daily communication we decided to meet in person and despite nerves masquerading as excitement it was amazing! We've been together for a year and a half.

July 6, 2014

My man and I met online rather randomly. We hit it off so well that it progressed from email to instant chatting to texting to phone to Skype. After about 4-5 months of constant daily communication we decided to meet in person and despite nerves masquerading as excitement it was amazing! We've been together for a year and a half.

Wow, that's a great story!

What was it like when you first saw each other? Were you still nervous or did that melt away pretty quickly? I realise everyone will be different

July 7, 2014

A friend of mine found her boyfriend through a social network (not Facebook, it was more local as well). They've been together for almost 4 years now.

And I've met a great friend via Youtube. We share a lot of interests, then started playing online games together and just a few months we met irl for the first time. Quite weird that feeling that you've never seen someone in person, but we got along as great as we do when calling each other on Skype. But no regrets.

July 7, 2014

A friend of mine found her boyfriend through a social network (not Facebook, it was more local as well). They've been together for almost 4 years now.

And I've met a great friend via Youtube. We share a lot of interests, then started playing online games together and just a few months we met irl for the first time. Quite weird that feeling that you've never seen someone in person, but we got along as great as we do when calling each other on Skype. But no regrets.

It's encouraging to hear that the online connection translated to irl for you too

July 7, 2014

Well as with my current thread i have something great going on with someone as well she contacted me through facebook about my artwork, we really hit it off and are meeting wednesday.

July 7, 2014

I have a friend who I met online through last.fm and have kept in touch with for 8 years now. Unfortunately, we live in different countries but I consider him a really good friend. We've lost contact a few times along the way, our friendship started as online dating but that fell through when we realized the distance was not managable. However, if we were ever to meet I have a pretty good feeling that we'd have a lot of sparks flying. We text, skype, talk on the phone but have kept it super friendly since we decided not to pursure a relationship.

I'm not sure if we'll ever meet, it would be a pretty extreme circumstance if we did.

July 7, 2014

Well as with my current thread i have something great going on with someone as well she contacted me through facebook about my artwork, we really hit it off and are meeting wednesday.

I've just had a look at your thread Targetlock, that sounds very exciting! You must let me know how you get on.

Makes me feel like more of a fool for the ten year wait!

July 7, 2014

QUOTE=Lovezen_30;5789114]Wow, that's a great story!

What was it like when you first saw each other? Were you still nervous or did that melt away pretty quickly? I realise everyone will be different

In all honesty, it was a tad awkward. We had been texting all day telling each other how excited we were to finally see each other and things like that which proved to only escalate the emotions and expectations already present.

When he finally touched down and came around the corner there was this brief moment of sheer panic, lol! We both tend to be a bit shy when meeting new people and even though technically we knew each other, being face to face after all those months just seemed insanely surreal.

It was a bit hectic trying to navigate the airport and get his luggage as well as trying carry on witty banter all the while but once we got in the car and headed home, it all kind of fell into place as soon as we started to relax a bit and that's when I knew everything was going to be alright

Edited July 7, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

July 8, 2014

I'd like to know if anyone has had a correspondence with a cyber person and met them (or even if you didn't meet, why not?)

I have been friends with a guy for nearly 10 years (started speaking at age 13) and we are finally planning to meet in a month. We've seen each other through a lot of trials including bereavement, relationships etc...and have always kept in contact even when travelling the globe! We always sign off with love and now when I really think about it it feels bizarre that I'm going to be meeting someone I love but have never met! It's making me a bit nervous, really.

When I first met my friend he lived over 5 hours away but ended up moving around 1 1/2 hours away a few years back. He asked me on a few occasions to meet up but I didn't - don't even really know why - think I was just scared of how much the relationship could change! But now, I think, life is too short.

So that's my story what's yours? and any tips? (ps. I am not going to be catfished! We used to talk on the phone and webcam all the time).

Most of my experiences have been very positive, but one was disappointing. I was part of a Usenet group in the very early 90s (pre WWW) that was an international discussion group on current affairs. We all became really good friends over the years, and then one of the group came out to my country with a view to possibly doing an MBA. We met up and it was just.... awkward. The witty repartee we'd enjoyed so effortlessly online was stifled by the logistics of our accents and language differences, uncertain expectations and constraints (I taught at the university he was applying to, though in a different department, so was well-known and greeted by many people when I was showing him around the campus, etc.) in the end his funding didn't come through so he didn't do the MBA, but even so our relationship had altered by the meeting and our communication dwindled after that.

OTOH, some of my closest friendships were forged online, and some of my best online friends morphed effortlessly into best RL friends when we did finally meet up, so ve never been put off by that.

July 8, 2014

I've just had a look at your thread Targetlock, that sounds very exciting! You must let me know how you get on.

Makes me feel like more of a fool for the ten year wait!

thanks will do, and i've waited for four years for this opportunity so i know the feeling.

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Cyber friends/relationships - what are your experiences?

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