How Can I Become Close Friends With My Ex Girlfriend? I Don't Want To Give Up On Us!

[David87]

Ok I will do that I need to protect myself from further pain. But I work with her so it is really hard not to see her. If she texts me ignore her but what if she come over to talk to me? God bless you all for your help!

 

If she comes to you, you have to explain that you are not interested in a friendship because you have romantic feelings for her and therefore you need to move on so you can heal.

[emotionalMess]

Ok I will do that I need to protect myself from further pain. But I work with her so it is really hard not to see her. If she texts me ignore her but what if she come over to talk to me? God bless you all for your help!

 

Avoid her if possible but don't be rude.

Be cordial, don't ever go into any detail about the past relationship, no need after you have already told her that you want romance and not just friendship (tomorrow).

 

Stick to your guns!

 

Do not waiver EVER not matter what!

[Chrispy]

Ok. Tonight my coworkers are having a birthday party, she is one of the two being celebrated. Should I go and not speak with her, or not show up?

[David87]

Ok. Tonight my coworkers are having a birthday party, she is one of the two being celebrated. Should I go and not speak with her, or not show up?

 

Don't go, find something else to do.

[emotionalMess]

She wants life without you

 

Let her experience this tonight.

 

It will be hard but now is the best time.

Do not text her either.

[Chrispy]

BTW just wondering if you guys were doing these things to get over them, or for a chance to save what can be saved?

[David87]

BTW just wondering if you guys were doing these things to get over them, or for a chance to save what can be saved?

 

You do this to move on, she dumped you theres nothing to be saved.

[Simon Phoenix]

Do I really want to make her think that what I told her about my feelings were not even true. That I was just trying to manipulate her? Am I wrong to think she would doubt my expression of true love and care?

 

You are trying to manipulate her -- YOU KEEP TALKING TO HER AND TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND SO SHE'LL TAKE YOU BACK!

[sugarlove]

I am weighing my options and I get different opinions from all of you, so yes I appreciate your help and all, but maybe you haven't loved anyone as much as I love her?

 

Gee, I find that's kinda rude. Love can't be quantified or compared. But the hurt is the same.. the pain and the longing and the sadness.. some takes longer than others to get over it, others just take quicker due to experience or some common sense.

 

 

All we can say is whatever you feel, tried or even think, we have done the same. Most of all, worry about yourself first before you worry about someone else who doesn't put you first

[emotionalMess]

You got this man. Don't f*ck up.

[Chrispy]

You are a woman, yes? What I meant to say was I have never fought for a broken relationship before. Still somehow now I don't feel rejected. I feel and came to realize that I wasn't good enough for her. also that it is more about her now and she felt she wasn't good enough for me. so I continue to love her. trust me I have been thru many breaks and all others I just felt pain and more pain and suffering. but I knew deep down that I need to get over them. I have only gotten wiser since, not stupider. so this feels like a connection that will never end if we both learn to trust each other again with time. believe me I am not an emotional retard like some of you might think. I am a hopeless romantic. I guess I should move on regardless of what the future holds. at this point I think time will be the judge...

[sugarlove]

Yes I'm a woman but that doesn't mean my story is not somewhat the same as yours. My ex felt he wasn't good enough for me as I am smarter and better looking according to him. But in time, as I fell on love with him, I felt I'm holding him back as he is younger than I am.. so I felt i wasn't good enough to hold him back.

 

It doesn't matter how strong the feeling is.. breaking up doesn't mean it wasn't real love at one point. But people change.. and with time, we only hope they will change back to love us. And us towards them. Just move on.. it's romantics like us that are roaming on this board.. Some for months.. others for years.. everyone is broken hearted here. You are not the only one, we know the pain.

 

Just try.. As mic4h as you can.. If she comes back grest.. then it's true love. If not, holding on when she already left leaves you with nothing but pain.

[Chrispy]

I totally agree with you. I just don't want to send mixed signals because even after all of this she will be an important person to me, always. Really I know I need to truly move on and not try to force things so I can heal. I just want to know the honest opinion of a woman, should I ignore her and remove myself completely from her life? I think she respects me for letting her go and not making her change her mind. But she loves me more since I am always there for her. the way we act with each other while broken up would also set the tone for a new relationship if we do ever reconcile. I avoid playing games but I feel that really I should "create a void" in her life to miss me and remember the good times. What do you think?

[sugarlove]

I am the dumpee this time.. but a dumper a few times.

 

If i don't love a man, I will just leave. If i have no feelings for him, nothjng he say will make me change my mind. In fact, I will feel sorry for him as I don't like guys to beg. Also, I think it's okay for a woman to.show vulnerability.. but not so much for a.guy. but that is just how I see it though. I know.he loves me but I didn't really care. Also usually I won't drag the relationship on..Usually less than 6 months.

 

Go no contact. If you do, she will respect ypu more. Im sure she knows you love her. A man of few words is more intriguing than a guy who talk too much.

Edited July 4, 2014 by sugarlove

[sugarlove]

Another thing.. being friend zoned is a dangerous thing.. Becuase you might just stay there.

[jameslonn]

im kinda in the same position as the OP tho i do think NC is best

 

just wondering is it a good idea to send a last email saying ill always be there 4 u and that kinda thing even after saying the same thing before face 2 face

 

heart wants to head says its stupid

 

what do u guys think?

[Ordinaryday]

im kinda in the same position as the OP tho i do think NC is best

 

just wondering is it a good idea to send a last email saying ill always be there 4 u and that kinda thing even after saying the same thing before face 2 face

 

heart wants to head says its stupid

 

what do u guys think?

 

was she 'there' for you when she dumped you and kicked you out of her life? No. So why on earth would you offer to be there for her?

 

for one, she feels she doesnt need you (if she felt she need you she wouldnt have dumped you) and for two, it makes you look like a pushover.

 

don't be a pushover.

[David87]

im kinda in the same position as the OP tho i do think NC is best

 

just wondering is it a good idea to send a last email saying ill always be there 4 u and that kinda thing even after saying the same thing before face 2 face

 

heart wants to head says its stupid

 

what do u guys think?

 

ITS STUPID SOOO STUPID. Better send a letter saying I'll always be your DOORMAT.

[Chrispy]

I know she still loves me, she knows she still loves me. what she doesn't know is if just as a person or if it is more. this is understandable because I was foolish and didn't do what I needed to do until it was too late. now she started feeling the same things as in the beginning but ive made too many mistakes. so she is shaken. I acted mature since and in control of my emotions I know it has to be her idea to miss me and want me back. nothing will change that. I know it is best now to stay away, I never acted jealous or untrusting we had an unspoken bond. I just think she is really still attracted to me and doesn't know how to deal with this at the moment. true I am making it easier to get over me. but I believe that what is meant to be will be so if I see that in time it isn't meant to be I canmmove on effortlessly. I can feel she is nervous again around me and keeping her distance exactly.because of this. I do not think it is pity from her because I have accepted the outcome. she still gives in to her desire to lean on my shoulders as at one point I was her rock. but she wants to prove herself she is self reliant. if I stay her rock and I don't stay hung upvon what could have been I should be alright.

[Chrispy]

Basically the worst you can do is keep changing your mind and keep thinking what you can say to change things. stop chasing. be the one constant in her turmoil of feelings and emotions. Make her know that you love her and would do what it takes to be happy with her. Of course only if you have imagined every possibility. you need to be ok with letting her go forever if that's what she needs. true love is putting someone before your self and not forcing always what you want. Don't show weekness you must stay strong find yourself a new hobby be happy workout don't let yourself sink if you truly love her do not play stupid games don't intend to make her jealous that is not going to be a lasting relationship if she comes back because of that. be happy with yourself so she Will also want what you have and share it with you forever

[Chrispy]

Do you agree/disagree with what I wrote last not my response...?

[Chrispy]

Please don't give up on me now. Writing here has been the only thing keeping me sane while she is sitting in the room next to me

[Chrispy]

Why is it that every time I think I am at peace with what happened, and I feel good, something always drags me right back down into a hole. Besides the fact that I keep seeing her and hearing her at my office throughout the day??

[sugarlove]

Listen... you are not emotionally right yet. Don't make decisions when your head is in the wrong place. You obviously care for her.. being her friend now will just not work.

 

Do the NC and review this again when you are in a better state. Otherwise.. do what your guts tell you because soemtimes that will be the only way you'll learn.

[Moonborn]

 

true love is putting someone before your self

 

 

This is very, very wrong.

 

Get over it. Stay no contact as much as you can, keep yourself busy, go around and meet as many people as you can, especially new people. I know you don't want to hear this, but it's over. You "being there" for her will not do anything but torture you endlessly, and quite possibly annoy her.

 

It sucks, it hurts and it's going to hurt for a long time, but you have to change your mindset or it will never end.