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How Can I Become Close Friends With My Ex Girlfriend? I Don't Want To Give Up On Us!

Chrispy

By Chrispy
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Ok, I didn't say nobody knows anything, just that nobody knows her. And my heart is telling me to not let go as I said I'm not sure if she regretted or will regret her decision. So should I go out and have a casual lunch with her? I know that she will at least miss the attention if I don't talk to her now. at the veryleast

Lalasita Member

Lalasita

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Ok, I didn't say nobody knows anything, just that nobody knows her. And my heart is telling me to not let go as I said I'm not sure if she regretted or will regret her decision. So should I go out and have a casual lunch with her? I know that she will at least miss the attention if I don't talk to her now. at the veryleast

 

NO, DON'T GO, she dumped you, WAKE UP ALREADY. Give her the opportunity to miss you.

David87 Established Member

David87

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OP dont be a doormat. You'll regret that in a couple of months.

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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^^Yup!! This is typical DOORMAT behavior and has been displayed over and over by many on here!! Just read for a bit. You'll see...

 

Your best bet is to just walk away. Plain and simple.

 

Easy? No!!! But necessary...

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mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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And my heart is telling me to not let go as I said I'm not sure if she regretted or will regret her decision.

 

Hearts are stupid and weak!!! What does your brain say??

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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My brain is telling me that she will realize that I am who she wants and always wanted. That if I can show her I changed which I have already, she will come around again. If I act distant she will reciprocate that.

And stop trusting me and feel I have given up. but her attraction isn't so logical probably. my brain tells me if I didn't want her back that is the only way I could get her back

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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My brain is telling me that she will realize that I am who she wants and always wanted. That if I can show her I changed which I have already, she will come around again. If I act distant she will reciprocate that.

And stop trusting me and feel I have given up. but her attraction isn't so logical probably.

 

Wrong!! That is your heart. Look deeper!!!

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

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My brain is telling me that she will realize that I am who she wants and always wanted. That if I can show her I changed which I have already, she will come around again. If I act distant she will reciprocate that.

And stop trusting me and feel I have given up. but her attraction isn't so logical probably. my brain tells me if I didn't want her back that is the only way I could get her back

 

Well guess what? Your brain is wrong.VERY wrong.

 

Listen to us.

emotionalMess Established Member

emotionalMess

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Find another job ASAP!

 

Do it!

 

You are making the classic mistakes. Close this chapter.

 

If she really wanted you do you think anything would stop her from communicating this to you?

 

Wake up dude!

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emotionalMess Established Member

emotionalMess

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Think of yourself as you would a boa constrictor.

You have her wrapped around yourself and you are slowly suffocating her.

 

Keep it up and you will see how much more distant she will become.

She might be scared of hurting you further therefore is not being mean to you.

 

You have to get your sh*t together first man. Quitting smoking and other stuff takes a lot of effort (good job) but you have to do this for you, not her. You gotta love yourself man before you can start back up with her. Now is the time to focus on you. Don't worry about her right now. Your happiness should not depend on her. Her approval is not what you should be seeking. Do this for you man!

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Ok I see your point. It is too hard to let go. Eventhoigh I thought I could do it. My brain is telling me that I deserve better than her. And that I don't need her to be happy.

Now I am inclined to tell her the following. I wanted to stay friends and though I spend time with my friends and am happy, but I still think about her sometimes and the fact that she doesn't want me. So I cannot keep seeing her or talking to her because everytime I see her and hear her voice, I fall in love with her all over again. So I cannot put myself through this. She should only contact me if she wants to start fresh, and then if it isn't too late and I haven't moved on that I might think about starting a new relationship. Really hope she is happy with whatever she decides to do. Please tell me what you think about this.

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emotionalMess Established Member

emotionalMess

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Perfect! You are on the right track. Do this ASAP!

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Right, I am going to tell her today. However I was asked recently if I could take her shopping as she needs help with it. She will not go back on her decision because she still needs time. But now won't she feel that I'm a jerk for changing my mind? And find someone else she can depend on?

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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It is an ultimatum and that is what got us in this mess in the first place

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

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It is an ultimatum and that is what got us in this mess in the first place

 

Dude....DO...NOT....TALK....TO...HER!!!! At all.

 

I don't know how more we can spell it out.

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Also why do I feel like Ieverytime Im getting close to making her realize what she is loosing only to find myself wanting the uncertainty to end. I am way to impatient and my feelings process way faster than other's. So it feels so close and then all the sudden like I paved over the chance of her coming back?

David87 Established Member

David87

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It is an ultimatum and that is what got us in this mess in the first place

 

Sart NC OP, It's for your own good.

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Well give me a break :) I am confused yes, but also not everyone would agree with you to say don't talk to her at all. Like if she texts me to ignore her. That is shutting her out and she is very insecure and depressed!

David87 Established Member

David87

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Well give me a break :) I am confused yes, but also not everyone would agree with you to say don't talk to her at all. Like if she texts me to ignore her. That is shutting her out and she is very insecure and depressed!

 

SHE DUMPED YOU FOR THE LOOVE OF GOOOOOOD.You came here for advice and you got it, its up to you what you're going to do with it.

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Do I really want to make her think that what I told her about my feelings were not even true. That I was just trying to manipulate her? Am I wrong to think she would doubt my expression of true love and care?

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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I am weighing my options and I get different opinions from all of you, so yes I apeeciate your help and all, but maybe you haven't loved anyone as much as I love her?

emotionalMess Established Member

emotionalMess

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No dude. It needs no explaining. Silence will speak louder than words.

What you need to hear from her is, sorry I made a big mistake, please forgive me and I will try to win your trust back.

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David87 Established Member

David87

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I am weighing my options and I get different opinions from all of you, so yes I apeeciate your help and all, but maybe you haven't loved anyone as much as I love her?

 

LOL I loved, like an idiot, 2 girls in my life.

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

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Do I really want to make her think that what I told her about my feelings were not even true. That I was just trying to manipulate her? Am I wrong to think she would doubt my expression of true love and care?

 

You....who hasn't dealt with any of this before ..

 

Us....who have dealt with and seen it NUMEROUS TIMES.

 

Dude...Your situation is no different than the stuff we haven't seen.

 

STOP TALKING TO HER!!!!!!!

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Chrispy Member

Chrispy

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Ok I will do that I need to protect myself from further pain. But I work with her so it is really hard not to see her. If she texts me ignore her but what if she come over to talk to me? God bless you all for your help!

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