I still believe in true love! I need words of encouragement, and also want to share!

[Chrispy]

Hoping someone can help me as this seems to be a pretty unique and complicated situation.

 

It is great to see everyone working together to become better partners, and I really appreciate all of you who try to help one another. It really helps to see this especially when someone is dealing with heartbreak. Of course it is not a coincidence that I found this website.

I have had some trouble lately and my relationship just ended not long ago. (3 weeks) I (31) really love her (32) and have been doing anything and everything I can to be a better person and to understand her needs better. My story is quite long and I don't want to include all types of needless details, but I really could use some insight or pointers on how to rekindle my relationship.

 

I do not want to play any games as we are both honest people and I feel that what we once had was special and a true love. (I still do) Only lately there has been so many factors involved that made both of us "unable" to maintain the RS and stay together.

 

We dated for 9 months. She was in a dead end relationship for 6 years before we started talking. We literally started dating immediately after her break up, because we both were falling for each other right away. She has constantly been in a relationship since she was 18, so she felt like she had always been defined by her previous boyfriends.

She has quite a bit of insecurities about herself that I don't really understand. I have always wanted to hear her opinions and ideas, and I am a very loving and accepting person. Although I do understand a lot of the mistakes that I made when in the relationship, and then when trying to convince her to stay with me and the works. I am now past that phase of denial and would like to regain her trust and love by supporting her in any way necessary. She explained to me that my behavior has created a doubt in her mind about me, and that she was hurt by my way of approaching her in our situation.

 

Please help me understand what to do. My problem is I work with her and have to see her everyday, we are now friendly with each other and talking and there really seem to be no hard feelings between us, but it is so hard being the only one who is fighting for what we could have together. One thing that is important to note, that while I was away on vacation for 12 days we did not see each other, and I have taken that time to improve myself and my lifestyle, she has already seen a huge difference, and has told me multiple times how proud she is of me.

 

Thanks in advance for bearing with me on this long post.

And please if you can think of any crucial information that I left out I would be happy to fill in the gaps.

 

I was asked what were the mistakes I think I made that made her want to end the relationship with me:

 

I came off as being pushy and needy but in reality I just wanted to talk about and work on why our relationship wasn't perfect like in the beginning. I felt us drifting apart so did she, but with all the stress in her life and work and losing herself I pushed her in a corner when all she needed was support and space. before that she also said she didn't want to lose me. so it came to a point where she couldn't talk about it anymore. She also felt that I was being aggressive, again it was my fear of losing something so precious. and she is very sensitive and insecure. things have gotten better between us since but I don't get the feeling that she wants to do anything to keep me anymore. I could wait for her but she says it isn't fair to me because she has no idea how long she needs. things for her do seem to be stagnant and she cannot make the changes in her life that she needs to. so I am having very mixed emotions. Does anyone have advice?