limejoose Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 HI, My GF and I have been together for about a year now. She went to Hawaii for a semester of study and promissed she would come back to Cali. Shes been there for 1 months and now she says she wants to fish school there which will take 4 years. She loves it so much she gonna do summer school. Well that means shell only be in Cali 2 months out of the year. When she was here with me she so attached to me as I was to her. Now she says she still loves me but that the love has changed. I know it cant work out because its not fair to both of us to just talk on the phone and just miss eachother. Shes starting a new life and I feel i just got left in the dust. The sad thing is she asked for my permission to goto for the semester to Hawaii and i let her go. I cant get over the feeling that i pushed her out of my life. I so confussed and fustrated by this whole thing. I still love her so much but its killing me that i cant be with her. -Jesse I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it. I don't believe it makes me real. I thought it'd be easy but no one believes me.
tiki Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 A. Move there if you love her that much B. Let her go, she may come back C. Long distance relationship I'd run away to there too (if I could).
Author limejoose Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 I guess im gonna have to go with B. I still have 2 more years of school left here and i cant start over again to goto Hawaii. I cant leave my life behind just to be with her as she starts her new one. I just cant get over the krappy feeling that its over. It would be easier if we were fighting or something, i could be mad at her, but thats not the the case. I hurts more when things end in a good way... What a way to kick off the new year!
Author limejoose Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 U of H wont take most of my credits.
upsetnhurt Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 A is not an option. From the sounds of it your gf has decided that being with you is not her ultimate priority. Reasonable enough I guess since you were together only a year. I will say that give it sometime as all it takes is for her to get a little homesick and she will be calling you and begging to come home. The first few months in Hawaii should be great yet it gets old. I moved to San Diego from NY and the weather and people were fantastic initially. A few months later I was missing my family and friends back home. I am sure i said the same things to them in that I love it there and see myself there forever. Guess what....I am back on the east coast as nothing is better than being near those you love. If she loves you she will be back. Be strong........and let things dictate themselves. By the way, you didn't let her go to Hawaii....she was going with or without your consent. Noone controls someone else!
Author limejoose Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 Actually she wasn't going to go, but i told her she should try it out.
upsetnhurt Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 And based on your encouragement she went? Do you really believe that lime?
Author limejoose Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 Upsetnhurt your the coolest bat in the cave. Thanks for your replies. Im starting to look at this whole situation in a new light. I gotta just chill and ride the wave!
upsetnhurt Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Lime, Not sure if you are being sarcastic yet I have come to the conclusion that bluntness helps someone heal rather than sympathy. We are all going through similar problems and I just am a bit farther ahead in my recovery. I have a long ways to go too as I fall back on a daily basis in my thoughts yet persevere as always. The one thing I realized is that we can't control the situation. We can lay our cards on the table once and then all we can do is walk away and see if the feelings are recipricated. Otherwise we will be doing more harm than good by prolonging the agony for yourself and them. I will say in your case just be a bigger man and step back. Play it as you want the best for her with or without her coming back. Something tells me that you will be surprised and she will be counting the days of her return. One trip back to visit and bang....homesickness . The one thing you will need to think about is where actually you both are in your relationship if she returns. Don't spend too much time on it as she may or may not come back, but let me ask you.....if she is willing to give you up so easily now, what's to stop her from doing it in future with other things other than Hawaii? Sounds a bit like your feelings are way ahead of hers. If the time comes, you need to sit her down and ask her what her true feelings are and what she wants out of a relationship wiht you. Good luck.
REALITYMAN Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 I had the best girlfriend in the world and within months SHE broke up and acted like she did not care . It is unreal . I just can't believe her . WE WERE PLANNING TO BE MARRIED IN THE NEAR FUTURE . But I had not given her a ring yet . I guess I am glad now I did not . Do you think it is all fear of commitment on her part ? I was in a relationship with my girlfriend. She broke up, decided to live in Europe and live her life there and then said she did not think she loved me. She was going to be my wife and we had lots of plans, but she discarded it. I stopped communicating, but wrote her a poem, because it was Valentines. She was glad that I sent her the poem because it made her feel a little better ... she was down. But she said nothing else. Is it a good sign or just graciousness? How do I get her to be my girl again? I love her very much. I know exactly how you feel. As you very much can seem, we have similar situations. I THINK THE BEST THING IS TO JUST GO OUT AND IGNORE THEM FOR A WHILE. They do not understand that they have the best right now with you. They are happy because they are having fun and are at school with their buddies. Believe me, given time, this b.s. life will get old. They are basically immature. I feel they will come back. When and how is the question. They will realize how special you are. It is a matter of time OK? Best of luck, REALITYMAN
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