Author spaceboy409 Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 Finally heard the words. I knew it was over but hearing this really sealed the coffin. Haven't been able to eat or sleep so upset. Trying to stay positive but it seems like a crap effort. Saw a therapist yesterday and just bawled and she asked me "do you want to let her go?" And part of me didn't know how to answer. Just got on medication too and I'm sticking to no NC as of today and no drinking. Coud use some support please.
Smilecharmer Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Oh, no, I know this hurts. Believe it or not, one day you won't even remember what she looked like because you will find someone who wants to have a future with you. Stay NC and don't be tempted by her offer of friendship. It will only keep your wounds open and bleeding. So sorry for your pain. This stinks. 1
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 She also mentioned how our relationship was terrible and we were never compatible. I just don't know why she let me hang on for so long if she didn't love me....
Simon Phoenix Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 She also mentioned how our relationship was terrible and we were never compatible. I just don't know why she let me hang on for so long if she didn't love me.... It's not her fault for letting you "hang" on. It's your fault for hanging on to something that didn't exist anymore. I'm sure she did love you at one point, but for whatever reason, that changed. You can't control what she does, only what you do. So stop blaming her for your actions and take control of your life. STOP TALKING TO HER! 1
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 Well said. Taking it one day at a time and today I have no desire to text her or feel miserable.
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 So its day 5 now of no contact with my ex. Its been hard and Ive been sad every day. Today I woke up and just cried for what seemed like an eternity. Is this normal to be this sad about someone who treated you like complete hell? When in my heart I know the relationship is over and there is no going back no matter what? Why do I still ache for her??
gj13 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 You miss the moments you had with her, you miss being happy and surely at some point you were happy with her. It's grieving and its normal! Don't feel weird or bad. You're gonna have good days and bad days but one thing's certain, you'll heal and each day will get easier. 1
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 I'm seeing my new therapist tomorrow for the second time. While I'm excited to pour my heart out I hope she can give me the help I need to get past this. In the state I am I can't date anyone new even tho I wish everyday I could meet someone new. I'm just heartbroken....
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 Any tips to cope with morning depression....sometimes it feels impossible to just get out of bed. I miss kissing her goodbye in the morning.... 1
FortunateSon Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I am a year post BU and still feel this from time time. One thing that helps me is just to get up and get going. Get out if bed, get in the shower, start your day!
gj13 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 (edited) I'm seeing my new therapist tomorrow for the second time. While I'm excited to pour my heart out I hope she can give me the help I need to get past this. In the state I am I can't date anyone new even tho I wish everyday I could meet someone new. I'm just heartbroken.... You're being too hard on yourself. You don't need to date if you're not ready. Unless you take it as something non-serious (a distraction, something casual) because at this point you aren't really ready to meet someone in a more serious type of thing. Your therapist will only be able to help you if you do as you should. Listen to her, do what she suggests. And keep in mind all the advice around this board, i can tell you... distractions and keeping your familya & friends close will do wonders. Edited July 15, 2014 by gj13 1
gj13 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Maybe some early morning walking/running/workout? I haven't tried it but i've heard it has helped some people.
scobro Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Morning is the worst I wake up and immediately feel the sharp anxiety pain.The only thing is to get out of bed don't sit and think about it because it will drive you crazy.I feel your pain and know exactly how you feel.Istarted running in the morning and that helps a lot. 1
scobro Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 This weekend has been filled with tears and a broken heart. Me and my ex have been broken up for a little over two months. In the beginning I felt okay. I enjoyed meeting new people. I even have a few girls that I'm pretty sure want to my girlfriend. I was feeling good until Friday night.....I had waited so long for this day because my favorite band was playing. I even brought along a really pretty girl. While I was out smoking out walks my ex with new boyfriend...immediately my heart shattered seeing her. She looked different and acted like I didn't even exist. I felt so sick I tried to drink away my sorrows which only made it worse. After seeing her again with her bf wrapped around her I had enough and I left early. I felt so sad I literally wanted to die. The next day I woke up sick and miserable but I decided to try to be positive and went about my day. I was playing a concert that night and to my complete shock my ex showed up with her new boyfriend. I instantly felt sick...she told me she wanted to be friends and I told her I just couldnt and walked off....I awoke at 5 am and texted her saying I never want to speak to her again and she replied saying I should come over. Being stupid I did....her boyfriend was there and I cried on her bed and said I had to go....she said she hopes someday we can be friends cuz "she still cares about me" today I woke up so miserable I didn't wanna I've anymore. Luckily I take medication for anxiety or I would prob be doin something stupid. I need help. Why is this girl doing this to me? Sadly everytime I see her I fall in love with her again. She's the most beautiful girl to me even till day....I don't know how much longer I can deal with this pain :( Dude she isn't doing it to you its you doing it to yourself.What were you thinking going over there and her boyfriend was there????WTF. Do yourself a favour and do No Contact.Its over now and you have to move on with your life without her.Seeing her or texting her is going to kill you mentally.She is pretty heartless to show up with her new bf and to invite you over with him there.....ouch thats painful 1
scobro Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 So its day 5 now of no contact with my ex. Its been hard and Ive been sad every day. Today I woke up and just cried for what seemed like an eternity. Is this normal to be this sad about someone who treated you like complete hell? When in my heart I know the relationship is over and there is no going back no matter what? Why do I still ache for her?? You ache because of the attachment you had.Crying is good its a release and is showing that you are healing. 1
love1336x Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Morning is the worst I wake up and immediately feel the sharp anxiety pain.The only thing is to get out of bed don't sit and think about it because it will drive you crazy.I feel your pain and know exactly how you feel.Istarted running in the morning and that helps a lot. Wow. I thought I was the only one....
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 Been sticking to NC pretty well. Some days are better than others. I wish she'd leave my mind or I could meet someone new. This is a new life I'm just completely used to living yet. I know that I'll always love her but I know it's over I just really long for that person to share your life with. Of course it kills me when I think she moved on but I'm trying to stay positive. I'm just worried how I will feel if I accidentally see her somewhere cuz we both live downtown....
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) I have been really struggling lately. I literally cannot get my ex off my mind. I think about her first thing when I wake up and pretty much all through out the day. I try so hard to think of other things and right away she is back within minutes. Its been almost 2 weeks of NC and we've been broken up for about 3 months now so I'm not sure why I'm still aching so badly....I started medication because my depression was spiraling out of control and I also have seen a therapist twice now. I even joined a new gym also and have been enjoying that yet still I feel hopeless. I wake up each morning instantly sad with no desire to even get out of bed even though I eventually do. Then I drag through the day with her on my mind as my heart just continues to ache and ache. Its very hard and Im not sure if I need to change the medication or what but I need something before I drive myself crazy. I literally wanna cry from every happy thought of her. She was my best friend and I guess I hate so bad that I will never ever know that person again and she is now in love with someone else(yes she told me that and that she didn't love me anymore). She falls quick too so I know she is head over heels for this new guy. Its all so heartbreaking...just thought I'd share and hope someone had some similar feelings. Edited July 22, 2014 by spaceboy409
Always Pondering Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Hey spaceboy, I just want to first off say I'm glad you're treating your depression seriously and putting in an effort to try to pick yourself up again. I was once in your position and I truly feel for you. Time does heal all wounds but the new interests/hobbies you pick up on in the meantime as well as how long you have been NC, will affect the speed of your healing. In just two weeks of NC, I was an absolute disaster and the thought of her was practically glued on top of my mind all the time. She was my best friend and the best friend I ever had so I completely understand how it feels to lose both your best friend and lover. As with your ex, mine jumps from relationship to relationship very quickly as well. She's currently in a relationship and by the sounds of it, this one could very well be a keeper for her. Anyways, fast-forward to about nine months NC and I am in a complete opposite situation of where I was when I was at two weeks NC. I am meeting new friends, love my new job, have developed very fascinating hobbies, and have become incredibly fit. The amount of time I spend thinking of her has reduced drastically and I've only had about one "sad" day in the past three or so months. This was from having down days literally everyday. I don't even remember the last time I cried over her. I'm telling you all this because my situation, like many others, relates to yours. I want to tell you that things do improve over time and your life will become better as you make it. I'm taking my time and currently not looking for a relationship right now but I'm extremely grateful for where I am today compared to the disastrous mess I was. Keep your head up high, know that everything will turn out for the better, and continue to do what is necessary to heal.
irresolute Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Your brain is detoxifying and it'll feel like an addict that needs their dose. Your brain is used to your past relationship and only time will change this. Stay strong, you'll feel better as days passes. Keep no contact and do not suppress the feelings, it will get better, I promise. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Completely normal. It's only two weeks ago -- the three months since the break don't matter because you stayed in contact for much of that (not going to rehash the ways you stayed in contact). You just need to ride out the waves man. 3
sumathi Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Are you pining for a girl who doesn't deserve your love. You should throw her away from your mind. If you keep craving for her you will lose your peace of mind. She has so easily fallen in love with another person and so she does not deserve your love. Divert your mind from her and soon you will find memories about her fading away. Good luck! 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 You're right in the teeth of it. Will be a while longer. Just got to stick it out!!! Come here as often as necessary. It's a good distraction 1
Author spaceboy409 Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 so I just got charged for a DUI the other night. I had been self medicating with no good results and now I've led me self to this. Im beyond depressed and hopeless. Im very scared and very sad. Luckily my family is being very supportive through this but I can barely focus on life now. Im tackling this DUI with no idea what will happen and this break up. If anything good comes from this its the fact I am quitting drinking for a long time if not ever. Ive been playing with fire for awhile and finally it has got me. This will be a learning lesson for sure but Im beyond depressed. Had to leave work early today cuz I just felt like breaking down crying the whole time.
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