feelinghopeless89 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Wow. I really never thought I would be back here, even though this site helped me through the darkest part of my life. If you read my past posts, I go into detail about everything I went through after a horrible breakup and the events that followed. I honestly didn't think I would make it because of how deep my depression was, but here I am a year later, not 100% better, but way better than before! I've been seeing the same counselor for 2 years every single week. She has seen my progress, my triumphs, my days where I take 2 steps back, and the struggle I do sometimes still face. She was the one that gave me the idea to post on this website again as she remembered how much it helped me, so here I am To try to make this as short as possible, I thought I was with the love of my life. He ended up getting his ex pregnant while we were still together. He left me for her and they are planning a wedding and "living the dream." We do work together (I know, so stupid), however this is my career and with this economy, I had no other choice than to stay at my job. Back in October my ex came onto me at our job, and I was shocked. Asking for a blow job, grabbed my boobs, begged me to send him naked pictures (ALL WHILE WE WERE AT WORK!!). Anyways, I ended up filing a sexual harassment suit against him at our company. He was being watched closely. Well, last week a group of people from work all went to the Giants game. The day after I heard that my ex and another girl employee ended up staying in the city and going to bars. Everyone assumed they slept together because my ex has a past filled with lots and lots of women. That night at work, the girl employee comes into my office and starts crying saying "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" She told me they had hooked up, but she doesn't remember anything except for him telling her they made out. mind you, he is engaged with kids. His fiancé ended up contacting me through Facebook asking for the truth (Apparently he didn't get home until 3am). I have been envisioning this conversation between her and I for a year. I never in a million years thought she would reach out to me, but clearly showed she was desperate. After thinking about it, I ended up messaging her back and telling her everything. If I was in her position, I would want to know the truth. She messaged back saying she was so sorry and thanks for being open, and that she was just lost. Well, a couple days later she was tagged in a post regarding their wedding. She commented on it stating how excited she was, etc, etc. You would have never guessed that she was just informed of her fiancé cheating on her with me, and then again last week with a 21 year old. I felt sick to my stomach. I know I shouldn't care, but how can I not? When I messaged her a felt as if the weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but now I feel like either he got out of it by smoothing it all over (which he does well), or she just thinks of me as a joke. I don't know. But I have fallen back into a depressed state which really scares me. I know people are going to see LEAVE THE JOB!! Which trust me, I am doing everything I can right now to find another job. But for the time being, how do I get past this? A huge part of me is glad I am not in her position like I wanted to badly to be before, but another part of me is so angry that he once again got away with something so wrong. Would love to hear any comforting advice as I am feeling extremely low. So sorry for such a long post :'(
me85 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Ok, first of all, I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. But, now I have to ask...why in the world haven't you blocked these people on FB? Please please do this immediately. My ex's gf has never done anything to me but I blocked her a few weeks ago because I was seeing her activity through mutual friends and I just can't stomach seeing her profile of her & my ex. Yuk. Out of sight out of mind. It's just easier that way. Hopefully you have been diligently looking for another job, because that is really the best solution. By what you've posted on here, you have done a fantastic job and I'm proud of you! I don't have to know you to be proud of you, (we share a bit of the same hurt from our past RSs so that basically makes us twins. lol jk) So keep it up sister! You've done your part by answering his fiancé's questions honestly. You're job is done there. & from now on stay away from any gossip or drama regarding your ex and his interactions with other girls. If they come up to you just straight up tell them, "I'm sorry but I don't want to be involved. It's none of my business." The end. You need to block and change jobs. Keep going to counseling and do everything that worked for you the first time you got really depressed a year ago. This isn't your first rodeo and it won't be your last. You're doing great! Don't worry. Come here and even private message me if ya want. (= Best wishes, J 1
BC1980 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I will definitely second the blocking on FB. You have absolutely no obligation to answer any of her questions about your ex. That is playing with fire, and you got burned big time. I understand you wanted to answer her to get back at your ex in some way. It's pretty hard to ignore the opportunity because, let's face it, you answered her to possibly ruin their relationship. It's human nature, and many of us would have done it. However, it's just another example of why NC is needed. Any contact seems to dig a bigger hole and has set you back. It's not worth it to get back at him if she contacts you again because you are the only one hurting. Heck, she didn't win a prize. She got a cheater and knowingly. It doesn't say much for either person. 2
Recommended Posts