lovesfool Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Has anyone else had trouble dealing with dreaming of your ex? Up until a couple of weeks ago I was doing great. I've been keeping myself busy, meeting up with friends, exercising, all the things they say to do after a breakup. The only times I was thinking of my ex was when I was idle or some old memory was triggered by something, but it didn't happen too often. But two weeks ago I had a dream about him. I don't remember much about the dream, just that he was in it and I was with him. I woke up in a cold sweat and all day he was all I could think of. This has happened another two times since. I thought I was doing well and getting over him, but I feel these dreams setting me back on my recovery. It's not a conscious decision to think about him in my sleep, but what can I do? 2
Brutus Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Hey, it happened to me a few days ago too. After 4 painful months of slow recovery I was starting to feel better when a major relapse happened. That night I dreamt about her repreatedly, and it was a major mindblow. Unfortunately you cannot control dreams, as they reflect the subconscious part of our mind. However, often dreams reflect things and thoughts you process during the conscious moments, so if you manage not to get stuck in a vicious circle where the conscious and the sub-conscious feed each other, you will be able to get over it. Do all you can during the conscious moments to avoid thinking about it, you will give your subconsciousness less food for such dreams. However, especially if the breakup is recent, repressing the thoughts of your ex may be counterproductive, as they may just get bottled up in the subconscious and blow up anytime. Take your time to grieve, to be sad, to fear the very sleep for the dreams you may get and the rough wake up. This stage is extremely painful but necessary.
Brokenguy22 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Yeah dreams like that suck. I had a dream like 2 weeks ago where I was crying like I was looking at my self in third person. I was crying because she broke up with me even tho I was fine the past month plus. Guess deep inside my brain the pain is still fresh as ever. Ugh 1
VanessaVanessa Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I also had a dream with my ex in it a few nights back. It had been months since I had last (remembered) having one. It is a horrible feeling and worse you cannot really help it.
learning_slowly Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 They say there is a need to grieve, but I'm not so sure. Spend a few days crying etc and then maybe a few more a while later, but then if they pop in your head, think about something else. Eventually they'll stop popping in. I've had no explosion from previous ex's As for dreams, they are meant to process events while you are not awake. Maybe its like the are stuck in your recycle bin. I wouldn't see it as a setback, I have dreams about people I haven't seen for 20 years, so it means nothing. The only thing is how you deal with it. Be strong. Forget them as they have forgotten about you. Go out and do things you enjoy.
guest569 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Me too. We were together hosting a party and planning our next holiday
gj13 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I dream about him every weekend since we went NC a month ago. They're all say... progressive. Started with me dreaming about running into him, me going for a coffee and talking etc... and the last dream was him asking me to get back together and me saying no. At first it was distressing dreaming about him but the last one was kinds good. Cause i had the last say. I kep thinking that this meant he might come back but i keep pushing that thought away. it does get better and I'm pretty sure its normal to have these dreams!
me85 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Yes I dream of him. Often. It doesn't bother me like it used to. It's a going to happen. We dream about what's on in our minds when we're awake. Dreaming is just thinking when we're asleep. Unfortunately our thoughts never stop traveling through our brain. That's why we get headaches. lol
haribogumsnickers Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 He's probably dreaming or thinking of you too. It happens because you can't erase the history you two shared especially the good memories. If it happens again and you can't get him out of your head, down a slurpee really fast. The brain freeze will have minimal effect on dismissing your ex but at least you tried.
True Gent Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 The dreams are an annoyance, but that's just how you should think of them... An annoyance. Try not to dwell too much on the dreams, you can't help your subconscious mind trying to make sense of things. I think dreams like these usually occur when your ex has been on your mind through the day or at night before bed. The dreaming is just part of the process, they do become much less frequent. Eventually they will stop, but probably only when you aren't thinking of your ex anymore. It all falls on that four letter word again which is so often used post breakup... 'Time' that really is it. 2
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