Better Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I was married for a long time but got divorced several years ago, so I am somewhat new to the dating scene. I got married in my twenties and divorced in my late thirties . I'm now in my early forties and have had fun dating but I would eventually like to find the right woman for me and get married again. However, I'm definitely not the type of person who needs to be in a relationship to define myself. Shortly after my divorce I got involved with a woman who was really great, but I totally sabotaged it and I know now that it was my rebound relationship. I haven't spoken to her in several years now. After that, I got involved with another woman who I spent a year and a half with. Things were going great and we were discussing marriage, but we drifted apart and she ended up breaking up with me amicably. I haven't spoken to her in almost a year. I've had dates here and there since then but nothing serious. I actually was trying not to date too much as there were other things in my life on which I was focusing. So recently, completely by random while I wasn't looking, I met another woman. We have great chemistry and despite only going on a few dates, there is definite potential. I really like her and am looking forward to getting to know her better. I have no idea where it will go but I'm excited about exploring the opportunity. But this is where it gets weird. BOTH of the previous girlfriends reached out to me last night over e-mail asking to get together for dinner to talk. I don't have any desire to be with them anymore, but it just seemed weird that as I got into the start of a new relationship, I got a note from them after so long of being out of contact. I haven't responded yet but since both of the relationships ended without any hard feelings I will send back a polite note with a friendly "no thank you". This always seems to happen to me. I go through periods of not being able to find a date to having several people interested in me at the same time. It's almost like I'm putting out a pheromone in the air saying "I'm dating someone, please contact me due to my unavailability." Note that I live in a large city and neither of these two ex-gfs had any idea that I had recently started to date someone, so it must be something in the air Has anyone else noticed this? It seems like feast or famine to me.
SadNLonley Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Well, im in the dry spell mode currently, but yes I have found that I was approached more during relationships. I do think there is some kind of vibe we send out. Maybe a happiness vibe that draws others to us. Why dont you send me some of you mojo so I can have the problem of multiple men contacting me to go out. 1
FitChick Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Mercury retrograde just ended. During a retrograde, you will often hear from people from your past. I've learned to expect it. 1
Assasda Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 You should go out with all 3 of them. I'm not saying to sleep with all 3, but go out with em, and see whats up
GoBlue Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Yes - it has happened to me as well. It's kinda weird, huh?
HappyLove Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Yes! This has happened to me also! Strangest thing back when I used to OLD *shivers*. There was a guy I dated who went poof on me never responded to my calls or text just cowardly vanished. So about a month later I met another guy and the very first night I started talking to the other guy had a nice convo and was excited, I hang up the phone and get a text immediately. I see this text come in saying, 'sorry for what I did blah blah blah'. I was so confused I'm thinking why is this new guys sending me a sorry text, great another flake. Then I realize it's from guy who went poof! I'm like SERIOUSLY he just came outta nowhere after disappearing right when I meet someone new and get off the phone with him. It was VERY strange! Like you, I decided to leave the past in the past. I never responded.
Author Better Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 As a follow-up ... I sent a very polite message to both of the other women along the lines of "nice to hear from you but I'm not interested in getting together with you for dinner." I got a thank you response from one of them and nothing from the other. In the meantime, I had a great weekend with the new woman. I totally made the right decision. 2
mortensorchid Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I have noticed that as well. There is never a rhyme or reason to it, when it's time it's time for the feast to start / famine to end. I think it's the same for men as well as women. I don't know why it is, maybe it's a bio feedback thing.
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