hopefullove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I like to analyze a lot after a break up lol, because I like to understand why things happen. Throughout our relationship, as short as it was (3 months), I had a reoccurring issues of things that were bothering me. The man I met, I thought was practically perfect in every way, and everything I wanted in a man. Except, often his actions didn't match his words and it started to bother me. I started to doubt him, and distrust him. Sometimes he seemed disinterested, but then he would be so attentive and caring. He was consistently late, he would make all these grand ideas of plans but not follow through, he could never plan anything and seemed to forget things a lot, like where to turn to get to my place, things he says, the first time I offered to make dinner for him he forgot about it. It all built up and I became increasingly frustrated because I thought he didn't care. He told me he had ADD as a child and only until he started focusing on reading did it help him concentrate. Career wise he is a successful lawyer, who started his own business. I read that ADD people can hyperfocus and can be brilliant. However a lot of times he doesn't know how his actions affect me and I become this nagging mother type. I resented this parent-child relationship we seemed to have and I started getting upset because I put so much care in and didn't think it was an equal partnership. Now that I realize that it was his symptoms and not his character, I feel really bad! If I had known, I wouldn't have taken his actions/inactions so personally, I was hurt all the time. I really felt he didn't care, how showed me in his way that he did, but I often thought he was lazy. He tried really hard and in the end, he gave up because I think he thought he couldn't make me happy. In the long run, I don't think I have the selflessness to have a family with him, and be the mother for everyone but he is such an amazing person. Now that I realize he really did care, I feel terrible and feel I missed out on something because I didn't understand his behaviour. Has anyone had a relationship with someone with ADD - I am blaming myself for not understanding him better and not being patient.
Recommended Posts