seasidedays Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I met my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years on a forum. We both have BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder). He pursued me. We live in different countries. The distance was hard, but we visited and found ways to make it work. I grew close to his mum and sister. My boyfriend was so sweet for about the first year and a half. Very loving, attentive, caring and always finding ways to make me feel special. He is not an emotionally stable person and will be the first to admit this. He is 26 and has never lived away from home. He had a lot of different career aspirations, but recently decided he wants to be a film editor/ film maker. He became very passionate abou this career choice pretty recently and I encouraged him. But now he is obsessed with it and says he wants to solely focus on his career. THis came as a complete shock just yesterday when he told me this. He is broke all the time and never has money. Yet he plans to get an expensive hair transplant procedure (this is something I had to hear about on a regular basis). part of his BDD is comparing himself to a million different actors. He'd send me different pictures of different ones (too many to count) and I'd have to constantly reassure him, telling him that he is just as attractive as those people. He has been dishonest about a few small things here and there, but I know he never cheated. He has no plans to move away from his mum's house and wants to live there indefinitely. He told me all along he wanted to marry me and have a baby together one day. I was looking forward to that. I really love him, quirks and all. I bought a ticket to visit him after I graduate in August. Just a couple days ago and all along before this, he was telling me how much he needed me there and how much he missed me. He told me that he thought he was depressed since he hadn't seen me in so long and really needed me back in his arms. SO I bought the ticket and it is non-refundable. Just yesterday he told me that he thinks the spark has died because of our distance and he doesn't think I should come. He knew I was buying the ticket. He told me that he still loves me, but doesn't want a relationship right now. First he said we needed a "break" then he said he wanted to be single for the next 4-5 years and not date anyone so he could focus on becoming a filmmaker and getting his career started. he wants to go to film school. I always encouraged and supported his dreams (if I had any doubts, he'd go ballistic on me). The ticket is already ordered. I've talked to his sister and she is also shocked. This is very out of character for him. I've tried talking to him and he says he's made up his mind. I'm heartbroken. I feel like I can't breathe. My other half is gone and I don't know how I will go on. I do not want to start over again. He told me to date other guys. That killed me. It's been a year since we've seen one another (which is embarrassing to admit)... but the reason is because of finances (plane tickets cost roughly $1200) and other life circumstances that came up. So I feel like it makes sense for me to go there... I feel like when I'm there in front of him, it will be different. Please help
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