lucaslode Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 My girlfriend of nine years dumped me suddenly 3 weeks ago. We've been in contact since then, on and off, mostly texting. I decided to go 'cold turkey' on her 4 days ago with absolutely NC of any kind. On Saturday she texted me 3 times and called me more than a dozen times but never left a message. On Monday, I got no text message or phone call from her. On Tuesday she texted me saying she hopes I am OK and that I am not just ignoring her. I didn't response. A few hours later she calls me with 'Unknown' number. I answer. She goes off on me and tells me she was hoping for us to hook up over the weekend and she was considering us getting back together but after 'this NC stunt I pulled', she realizes now totally what a stupid mistake that would have been on her part. Then she tells me to have a nice life and hangs up. NC on my part seems to have totally ruined whatever chance I had of ever getting my ex back.
somedude81 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 NC isn't meant to get you your ex back. It's supposed to help you get a clean break from them so you can heal and move on.
Ben Dover Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Broke up with you but expects you to hang around and be friends? She's a sweetheart she MIGHT have even considered getting back with you. Lucky you. And she wanted to hook up this weekend as in sex or hanging out? This girl is completely playing you. I've been here man. It's the absolute worst. You really think she's gonna take you back after like what, a week of being broken up? What would be different this time around? She's just messing with your hand and using you as a backup plan for when she gets lonely for a night or so. Trust me man, you dodged a bullet.
sugarlove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Oh wow, now you can't hook up with her.. that sucks. Too bad for her I guess She sounded angry, not sure why, could it be that she felt rejected by you? Well, she felt hurt, I wonder why not... especially since she dumped you after such a long history together. Ignore her, if she can't come back to you with a better line than "I want to hook up" then you simply can't put the blame on yourself. I don't think you did anything wrong except thinking you deserve better treatment.
Author lucaslode Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) No, not sex, just hanging out, having lunch and talk. She said she 'missed me' and was really looking forward to seeing me. Today we talked for a long time and suddenly she hangs up telling me 'I have to go'. Before the signal dropped I could hear a door opening in the background and a man's voice; she said something back. Unfortunately I don't know what was said, they spoke a language I don't understand. She called me right after she left work. She lives about 1 hours driving time from her job. She'd been driving for only 15 minutes when she said she had to go. Half hour later she calls me again and tells me she needs time to think what to do but wants to let me know that if we get back together she expects a 'new start' and not pickup where we left of. I answered her: "take all the time you need, however long it takes, 2 days, one month, a year or more. While you're thinking what to do I am not contacting you in anyway. You get in contact with me when you have made your decision." I hung up the phone and that was that. Edited July 2, 2014 by lucaslode
sugarlove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 mm okay. Missing doesn't mean anything unless she is certain and tells you she is certain she wants you back. She doesn't know what she wants, this is not what you need right now. And all that hissy fit she threw, if she wants a chance with you, she has to be cordial. Do you seriously need this again?
David87 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 What a drama queen, she dumped you and she expects you to be there for her whenever she wants to....loool Good thing you initiated NC, you didnt ruined everything she did. 1
Author lucaslode Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 NO I DO NOT! I actually made that clear to her when she said "that's not how you treat a friend" (she said during her anger rant). I told her I am not her friend and she can't depend on me anymore to be there for her whenever she needs something. Then she began to cry (pretend maybe). Anyway; I put my foot down and told her a new start is only possible with an entirely new approach. If she can't do that she doesn't need to bother and we both go our separate ways. Then she began to sweet talk me again. Until she 'had to go'.
David87 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 You did great, it serves her right after she dumped you. Let her miss you and know how it feels.
harvej Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 The NC worked wonderfully! he called you back and was pissed because you blew her off and she lost control. Tell her when she calls again,(and she will call), that NC is to heal not avoid and play games. Well done!
sugarlove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Good, NC is not for her anyway. I'm sure the breakup was hard for you and you must have tried really hard to stay as friends. I'm also quite sure you've apologised for your part in the breakup and she needs to now get her emotions in check and apologised the correct way. The way you need to trust her again. It's still quite recent so I"m sure she's highly confused and emotional right now and is just grasping at straws or using you as a safety net for her guilt. When she left you, she had forsaken the 9 years of bond you've built. She is digging a hole for herself if she thinks anger can get you to back down with the NC. I've never in my entire relationship with my ex has ever threw a hissy fit or say things out of anger. I don't get women who do that to someone they love and I can't stand such behavior at all.
Author lucaslode Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 Agreed! Just wondering now she probably played me the entire 9 years we were together but me being head over heels in love with her just never realized it. Looking back though I definitely took care of all her needs, particularly financially. I gather that's what her intend of 'getting back together' is all about: for me to continue to support her financially while she bangs another guy. Yeah right! 2
David87 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 OP you will find a better girl who respects you and who loves you the way you deserve. 1
Recommended Posts