Targetlock Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 mine: trying to get womens' attention and actually get given a chance rather than just ignored
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I don't know if it's just looks -- I think he's right in suggesting that OLD favors the people who look good on paper in general. Be it looks, education, income, humor, whatever it is that can be displayed. However if all your stock is in your "less visible" qualities than yes, I imagine OLD is quite difficult, especially if you have a hard time writing or describing yourself. Women can narrow their search to guys who make $150k+ but they can't narrow the search to "guys who will help me do the dishes." Solution: find an interesting way to display the more hidden qualities that you have. Are you handy? Get a picture of you fixing a carburetor. Are you selfless? Get a picture of you volunteering. On the other hand, the other thing to consider is that a lot of people think they're a lot "better" than they actually are. In a cruel way, the market will oftentimes determine your value regardless of your own idealizations about yourself. Maybe you think you're great because you can fix a carburetor but it might not matter if you can't spell and it's a car you stole. Extreme example but you see what I mean. You really think they care about what's on your profile? If they don't like your pics, let me rephrase, if you don't meet their superficial standard, you could be the best person in the world and they wouldn't care. Remember that thread I made, I posted links showing the people who were having success OLD, which were all fake profiles made using pics of male models. The moderators didn't like the links because they led to other forums so they were taken off, which I understand, but never the less. I had the proof for all guys who weren't having any luck to see. Proof speaks much, much louder than words. 1
deathandtaxes Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 You can't take anything personally on OLD. It's a right time, right place type of thing. You have to be specifically what they're looking for - and that goes for both sexes. Men and women are guilty of passing on profiles because they're just not really attracted to somebody. I do it. I'm sure the ladies do it to me. C'est la vie. But that's just like in real life. You're not going to approach somebody with romantic intentions if you're not attracted to them. That being said, it does behoove everybody to have good pictures. Not perfect, because then I wonder if somebody is trying too hard.
normal person Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) You really think they care about what's on your profile? If they don't like your pics, let me rephrase, if you don't meet their superficial standard, you could be the best person in the world and they wouldn't care. The quality women will care what's in your profile. I wouldn't want a women who didn't care/read what I wrote and I imagine most guys worth their salt wouldn't want one either. When a girl sends you a message and obviously hasn't read your profile, do you respond? I would hope not. I don't care how good looking she is. The requirement is that she has to read and write about me and have something about herself to be read. Yes, you have to pass through their filters to get a foot in the door but that's not much different than being in a bar and having a girl think you're cute or not. Is it? Then you still have to be interesting. Remember that thread I made, I posted links showing the people who were having success OLD, which were all fake profiles made using pics of male models. The moderators didn't like the links because they led to other forums so they were taken off, which I understand, but never the less. I had the proof for all guys who weren't having any luck to see. Proof speaks much, much louder than words. Well since you need proof, here are the messages I got filtered for the ones that just mention the words "your profile." These are just the most recent ones that I could fit on a single page. "Your profile" messages that I've gotten Do you now need proof that I'm not a male model? So when the guys link that "only male models" and "girls don't read profiles" crap, you can link them to this post. Edited July 2, 2014 by normal person
Gaeta Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 You really think they care about what's on your profile? If they don't like your pics, let me rephrase, if you don't meet their superficial standard, you could be the best person in the world and they wouldn't care. It's all about physical attraction online as well as in life. Maybe even more in RL because then you have no profile to check if the guy has kids, smokes, is educated, nothing, you only have his looks to make a judgment call. Also, the good news is not all people are attracted toward the same type of people. My daughter who's 27 is nuts for tall skinny long face crocked teeth dudes! Don't ask me why lol. She is 5'1'' cute brunette with 33% of her body tattooed and guess what? there are guys dying for that style. So if a tall skinny long face guy can get a girl and a little shorty full of ink can, the rest of us on here still looking can also find. 1
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 The quality women will care what's in your profile. I wouldn't want a women who didn't care/read what I wrote and I imagine most guys worth their salt wouldn't want one either. When a girl sends you a message and obviously hasn't read your profile, do you respond? I would hope not. I don't care how good looking she is. The requirement is that she has to read and write about me and have something about herself to be read. Yes, you have to pass through their filters to get a foot in the door but that's not much different than being in a bar and having a girl think you're cute or not. Is it? Then you still have to be interesting. Well since you need proof, here are the messages I got filtered for the ones that just mention the words "your profile." These are just the most recent ones that I could fit on a single page. "Your profile" messages that I've gotten Do you now need proof that I'm not a male model? So when the guys link that "only male models" and "girls don't read profiles" crap, you can link them to this post. I've never tried a paid site, I heard they were no different. Actually I heard they were worse because face profiles to make it look like they're more women on there then there actually are.
normal person Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I've never tried a paid site, I heard they were no different. Actually I heard they were worse because face profiles to make it look like they're more women on there then there actually are. If I accomplished anything with my last post, I would hope you'd now think twice about the validity of things you've merely "heard." Why not get some proof for yourself? I've never met a fake girl or seen a profile I thought was fake. In regards to the topic, the difference is minimal between paid/free. I can show you just as many messages on OKCupid.
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) If I accomplished anything with my last post, I would hope you'd now think twice about the validity of things you've merely "heard." Why not get some proof for yourself? I've never met a fake girl or seen a profile I thought was fake. The difference is minimal between paid/free. I can show you just as many messages on OKCupid. Here you go You know they've had lawsuits against them for this kind of thing right? Edited July 2, 2014 by jay1983
normal person Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Here you go You know they've had lawsuits against them for this kind of thing right? Yes, they've had lawsuits. Yes, there might be some fake profiles out there. It's also a multi-billion dollar industry that has real people meeting each other every day and getting married. Are you honestly telling me that because a few profiles aren't real that none of them are or that it's not worth doing? You wanted proof that girls read profiles. I gave it to you. Doesn't that also double as proof that they aren't fake profiles? After all, they sent me those messages. I have met 25+ girls in real life that have contacted me on there. What more proof do you need? If you're that paranoid about a fake profile, just don't send any messages. Limit your dating pool to just the girls who get in contact with you. I can say from experience you'll have minimal issues with OLD then.
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Yes, they've had lawsuits. Yes, there might be some fake profiles out there. It's also a multi-billion dollar industry that has real people meeting each other every day and getting married. Are you honestly telling me that because a few profiles aren't real that none of them are or that it's not worth doing? You wanted proof that girls read profiles. I gave it to you. Doesn't that also double as proof that they aren't fake profiles? After all, they sent me those messages. I have met 25+ girls in real life that have contacted me on there. What more proof do you need? If you're that paranoid about a fake profile, just don't send any messages. Limit your dating pool to just the girls who get in contact with you. I can say from experience you'll have minimal issues with OLD then. Let ask you this, when you do a search, does it pull up only paid profiles, or do you have to pay to come up in a search and receive messsages? I'm wondering how many didn't just put their pics on there and not pay to interact.
normal person Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) Let ask you this, when you do a search, does it pull up only paid profiles, or do you have to pay to come up in a search and receive messsages? I'm wondering how many didn't just put their pics on there and not pay to interact. You have to pay to communicate. The fake profiles come into play when you just sign up and haven't paid. They'll get a bunch of nice looking fake profiles to send you messages so you get inspired to buy the service to communicate with them. Once you pay, everything's real. I've met them in person. I can show you a screenshot of my phone too if you still don't believe me. Or maybe I'm not even real. Edited July 2, 2014 by normal person 1
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 You have to pay to communicate. The fake profiles come into play when you just sign up and haven't paid. They'll get a bunch of nice looking fake profiles to send you messages so you get inspired to buy the service to communicate with them. Once you pay, everything's real. I've met them in person. I can show you a screenshot of my phone too if you still don't believe me. Or maybe I'm not even real. Okay if decided to try again in the future, I'll use a paid site.
phineas Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 The hardest part for me is after you get the number they get evasive when it comes to setting up a date or just talking on the phone but won't stop texting you. You automatically want to suspect they are married or living with a guy because what other reason is there for not talking on the phone when they are home? The rest of the stuff takes zero effort as long as you don't take it too seriously.
nofeelings22 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Having to decide who to go out with from the inbox. Gut wrenching. Never know if I'm making the right choice.
carhill Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 In your opinion, what is the hardest part about online dating? Mine: Most of the women I am interested in because of personality/hobbies don't reply my messages. I never really found online dating hard; in fact, for myself, it was much easier than meeting women in real life. Online, I was able to view a list of women who put themselves 'out there' as single. IRL, meeting a single woman by chance, even in places where supposedly they might 'hang out', never really materialized. Oh, yeah, I did meet some whom I thought were single but turned out not to be. That never happened at all online. Any dating experience that progressed had no whiff of marital or relationship deception. If I had to pin anything remotely 'hard' about online dating, it was, at least back in the day, forming up a sincere and interestingly worded response. Women never contacted me so it was up to me to 'put it out there' so that's the best I can do on the 'hard' part. Overall, I had no real complaints, and that was dates locally, long distance in my county and state and even internationally. So few issues they're not worth discussing. YMMV!
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Here another thing why it's hard. I am on POF at this time. This man 34 years old messages me. He presented himself very well (teacher) so I decided I will politely decline in an answer. I thank him for his interest in my profile but I must decline because of our age difference. He replies he is not 34, he's 39. *roll my eyes* What is this lying about age!! why can't people just own who they are! And why does a man 39 feel the need to lie about his age! If it's to attract younger women then why message me when I am 48. So even if he's nice, even he seems to have his life on track, even if 39 isn't so bad as age difference I have to dump him.
Author Armegoggon Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 Here another thing why it's hard. I am on POF at this time. This man 34 years old messages me. He presented himself very well (teacher) so I decided I will politely decline in an answer. I thank him for his interest in my profile but I must decline because of our age difference. He replies he is not 34, he's 39. *roll my eyes* What is this lying about age!! why can't people just own who they are! And why does a man 39 feel the need to lie about his age! If it's to attract younger women then why message me when I am 48. So even if he's nice, even he seems to have his life on track, even if 39 isn't so bad as age difference I have to dump him. To be honest, men should take older women. So if you were 39 or 34 you would really take a 48 year old man?
BlueIris Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Here another thing why it's hard. I am on POF at this time. This man 34 years old messages me. He presented himself very well (teacher) so I decided I will politely decline in an answer. I thank him for his interest in my profile but I must decline because of our age difference. He replies he is not 34, he's 39. *roll my eyes* What is this lying about age!! why can't people just own who they are! And why does a man 39 feel the need to lie about his age! If it's to attract younger women then why message me when I am 48. So even if he's nice, even he seems to have his life on track, even if 39 isn't so bad as age difference I have to dump him. I see this all the time, and I won't go out with them again. Overall, I'd say half had lied about their age. There was a period in which I met maybe 4 or 5 men in a row who had lied about their age, were older than me and had listed their age as younger than me. I figure they're not looking for a relationship, which I am, so we're not compatible. Or maybe they're looking for a relationship with someone who thinks lying is okay, so we're not compatible. 1
Elle1975 Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Probably people not taking the time to read my profile, where it specifically give my age requirements and my preference to long-term dating. I just receive "hey gorgeous blah blah". Not that I consider myself to be an ugly monkey, but I'm not gorgeous. It's just a fwb pick up line, but it irritates me nonetheless.
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