Armegoggon Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 In your opinion, what is the hardest part about online dating? Mine: Most of the women I am interested in because of personality/hobbies don't reply my messages.
somedude81 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 In your opinion, what is the hardest part about online dating? Mine: Most of the women I am interested in because of personality/hobbies don't reply my messages. Same. I never had a woman ever reply to a message I sent.
Author Armegoggon Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 Same. I never had a woman ever reply to a message I sent. Seriously? Wow you've been posting 15k+ times and you never had a woman talk to you online? Wait, you're dragging this to talking about real life yeah I didn't think I'd fall for that.
somedude81 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Seriously? Wow you've been posting 15k+ times and you never had a woman talk to you online? Wait, you're dragging this to talking about real life yeah I didn't think I'd fall for that. No no, I'm not talking about this forum. Why would you think that? Didn't you make this thread about online dating?
Author Armegoggon Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 No no, I'm not talking about this forum. Why would you think that? Didn't you make this thread about online dating? Sorry I meant to say "you never had a woman talk to you on a dating site". I thought that you'd say this because you never used dating sites and you only met women in real life. Uh yeah but specific questions change.
2sunny Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Problems? Fake profiles and people lie about the reality of who they are. 3
LostOnes05 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 It's tough online. Very few women tend to respond to my messages either. I think it's a matter of them having so many guys send them messages that they tend to weed you out by physical attraction first before reading your profile. There are also a bunch of fake profiles out there.
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Actually meeting the ones that don't just wanna be pen pals. 2
normal person Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 The hardest part for me is/was learning to divorce myself from the expectations I had of a person before I met them. You can't help but conjure up an image in your head about how people talk, act, carry themselves, etc. Almost all of the time you're wrong. I've met beautiful girls who I thought were going to be amazing who were incredibly boring. I've also met a girl who I agreed to meet on a whim (didn't think much of it) who turned out to be drop dead gorgeous. So there are surprises at both ends of the spectrum but you have to leave your expectations at home. Another qualm is the amount of people you'll meet that you just simply don't click with. You can usually tell if you like them or not in the first few minutes and it may not have been worth getting all dressed up and going out for, or even sticking around for. There is a bit of a time investment. 2
somedude81 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Sorry I meant to say "you never had a woman talk to you on a dating site". I thought that you'd say this because you never used dating sites and you only met women in real life. Uh yeah but specific questions change. I have tried OLD sporadically throughout the years and never received a reply to any of my messages. The last time I tried was about a month ago. I think it's mainly because I look really bad in all my pictures and my personality doesn't really come out. 2
Assasda Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Yeah, most of the women dont respond, its not there fault though. Women get lots of messages. So, Dont put too much stock into what you send a woman. I'm all for guys using "canned" lines too, when messaging first to women, just because of that simple fact
PegNosePete Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Getting responses is all about having a good profile with good photos. If you have both of them then getting responses is very easy. That is the hardest part: creating a good profile and getting good photos that make you attractive and interesting, and elicit responses or initial contacts from people you are interested in. Sadly most people fail dismally at that, and become bitter and jaded and turn into the "OLD sucks" crowd that is very prevalent on this and other forums. It doesn't suck, it's just a tool. Up to you how you use it. Chances are, if you're not getting replies, your profile or photos SUCK. Almost everyone thinks their profile is good but in reality very few are. 5
irc333 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 In your opinion, what is the hardest part about online dating? Mine: Most of the women I am interested in because of personality/hobbies don't reply my messages. Just to answer the Title of this post, the hardest part....GETTING THEM TO RESPOND.
guest569 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 You go on a great date and he wants to meet again, but suddenly vanishes, and you can see him still on the site. Obviously spoilt for choice and has far better options than me. So, the fact that online people are talking to many others and multi dating. I hate being one of many that he is meeting/dating. I dont think it would be as common in the real life dating world.
Gaeta Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 1. Men only interested in hooking up 2. Not showing up at dates (happened 3 times this week) 3. Fading away after sex
PegNosePete Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 the fact that online people are talking to many others and multi dating. I hate being one of many that he is meeting/dating. Well here is your answer: 2. Not showing up at dates (happened 3 times this week) If no-shows are common then is it any surprise that people have other prospects on the go? Putting all your eggs in 1 basket is an unwise move.
guest569 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Well here is your answer: If no-shows are common then is it any surprise that people have other prospects on the go? Putting all your eggs in 1 basket is an unwise move. I get that, but it is frustrating on the receiving end of the "im gonna lead you on in case my other dates fail". I do multi date but i dont lead anyone on.
Andy_K Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 1) finding someone who sounds vaguely compatible and I find attractive 2) getting a reply or a date 3) Lack of chemistry (most commonly their decision) 1
Emilia Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 1) finding someone who sounds vaguely compatible and I find attractive Yeah, this one is mine.
Weezy1973 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 1. Men only interested in hooking up 2. Not showing up at dates (happened 3 times this week) 3. Fading away after sex I'm thinking there's something wrong with your picker! 1
Diezel Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 My pet peeve with online dating is the women with the disclaimers: DO NOT contact me if you play games. DO NOT contact me if you only want sex. DO NOT contact me if you have pictures of you in the bathroom. DO NOT contact me if you have shirtless pictures. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT You do know that makes you seem a lot less attractive, ridiculously bitter, and like the biggest nag on this planet, right? For the record, I don't do any of those things, but sheesh, when you see an ad for a car, you don't see them reasons why you shouldn't buy it. 4
Baller25 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 My pet peeve with online dating is the women with the disclaimers: DO NOT contact me if you play games. DO NOT contact me if you only want sex. DO NOT contact me if you have pictures of you in the bathroom. DO NOT contact me if you have shirtless pictures. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT You do know that makes you seem a lot less attractive, ridiculously bitter, and like the biggest nag on this planet, right? For the record, I don't do any of those things, but sheesh, when you see an ad for a car, you don't see them reasons why you shouldn't buy it. I was going to write this, you beat me to it. It just makes the girl sound angry, and as you said very naggy which is the most unattractive thing to us men. The other part I hate is how they don't like us guys having shirtless pics, even though they have very revealing pics (including being practically naked in the bathroom). It just screams "I can do whatever I what but you can't" or "I can have guy friends but you can't have any female friends" type of girl. 1
Keenly Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 For me the hardest part is the lack of " genuineness " that infects the entire process. I can only speak for women, because I don't interact with men, but the women just can't seem to be honest, about anything. There is this fake wall up, and its a fake wall of stuck upness too. Being discarded on a whim is kind of annoying too. I think OLD knocks the balance of power in the dating world FAR into the woman's favor, being the sole message receiver, and it makes her think she is a better catch, and is worth more than perhaps she really is. She rejects men that would be a good fit for her and would treat her will in pursuit of the men that look the hottest but are clearly not relationship materiel, but she will fix them right!?!?! So, in short, the biggest problem for me is I'll be me, I'll have a pleasant conversation and take you out for drinks and dinner and dates and stuff, but you have to be you and most importantly be OPEN. I'm not going to dance like a trained monkey to try extra hard to impress you, that's not who I am. 4
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 It was hard for me to deal with the rejection -- especially the silence. It wasn't until months later, after my membership expired, that I learned on that particular pay site, people still got matched as a way for the site to try to lure them back. Also I live in the suburbs & the site kept recommending that I expand my geography so I opened it up to 50 miles but that became a logistical nightmare to arrange a date. With traffic it's 1.5 hours to the city where may of the guys lived. They didn't have cars to get to me or even meet in the middle. A 3 hour R/T drive for a cup of coffee wasn't worth it. I actually took to picking restaurants I wanted to try & offering to pay just so I got something out of the drive. A few men were put off by the idea of having to spend 3 hours with me.
Gaeta Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 The other part I hate is how they don't like us guys having shirtless pics, even though they have very revealing pics (including being practically naked in the bathroom). It just screams "I can do whatever I what but you can't" or "I can have guy friends but you can't have any female friends" type of girl. You talk to women with bathroom reveling pictures? About pictures: I have 1 picture of me in jeans and t-shirt, if I put that one up I get all kinds of dirty messages. No skin showing but I have big breasts and a good pair of hips, ONLY that suffice to attract the sharks and dirty comments. Women putting up bathroom reveling pictures aren't dating material as well as men with bathroom pictures. 2
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