SpiralOut Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I'm not having any luck with POF. I briefly signed up with some other site (forget the name of it) and most of the men were 10-15 years older than me. Not my thing. I'm considering a couple of others, which have subscription fees, so I'm hesitant to sign up. Are these sites actually any better? Has anyone had a positive experience with a particular site?
KaliLove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I met my last serious bf on Match. Don't do Zoosk. I just closed my account there. Bunch of pervs.
PegNosePete Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I'm not having any luck with POF. Well it depends on the nature of "not having any luck". Not getting messages? Not getting responses to your own messages? Getting too many sex pest messages? Too many pen pals who don't want to meet in real life? Flaky no-shows who stand you up on dates? Chances are, most of these issues can be overcome by changing your profile, or the way you use the site. All dating sites are basically the same, in fact a lot of people have accounts on multiple sites; you won't find a completely different subset of people by switching site. This very thread proves it. So if you use the same tactics, a different site will probably yield the same result. If you want more tips to increase your "luck" (it's actually not much to do with luck!) then you'll need to explain in more detail what issues you're facing.
salparadise Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 As for the site itself, OKCupid is the best quality. It uses fairly sophisticated algorithms to help you sort prospects using a lot of preference information as revealed through a large number of questions. It's a free site that give you extra features if you pay the fee. There are pros and cons to this. Being free means that people can be on there perpetually, whereas on the paid sites they tend to get tired of paying if they don't have success within a reasonable time. But, when people quit paying the fee (match particularly), the site continues show their profiles even though that person cannot respond. So you end up having no idea who is actually available and which ones are just dead profiles that the site is using as bait to get other people to pay the fee. My preference is more information, more tools for using the information, more people overall, and everyone on the site being able to send and respond to messages freely. So OKC is best by these criteria. 1
ZipperZapper Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I don't recommend using any OLD site unless it is free, for one simple reason. OLD sites where you have to pay are only interested in making money, and they don't care whether you succeed, or have a good experience, or even whether you get your money's worth. They cynically figure that even if you close your account, another sucker will come along and pay up. And the cycle repeats, ad infinitum and ad nauseam. The other problem with OLD sites, pay or otherwise, is that you pretty much have to be good-looking to have any reasonable prospect of success, because OLD is all about looks and whether you have a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, or whatever else is considered hip or fashionable at the moment. Put more simply, there are a lot of fake people using OLD and even more fake profiles from people who aren't even real. If you must use an OLD site, go for the free ones. At least this way you're not out any money if things don't work out. Just don't hold your breath and expect much.
D.Mc. Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Maybe you should try "How About We". It's a paid site but the concept is that you have an idea for a date (something to do/see etc) that you post along w/your profile. If someone likes the activity (& your profile) then they respond, or you can find someone (hopefully) in your area that's posted something you might like to do. This gives you an opportunity to get an IRL date fairly quickly. It sounds like a meetup group but it's for dating b/c there's still the issue of profiles & pics. On the other hand I'm thinking that lots of people send messages on that site for the other person's activity even if they know they don't want to have any relationship with them. They probably just want to do the activity at least once & need a partner for it. Well try it anyway if you don't mind paying. I can say the site known as Mingle2 is really bad. It's free but no way to search/screen even by zipcode, so I get messages from men in other states & went through about 4 to 5 pages of men when I searched since they were not sorted by location. Annoying & tiring. All I found out was that New Jersey has a lot of good looking guys.
Snakechammah Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I also met my boyfriend in Match. I paid for one-month subscription including the 'check if he's read your message' option... but only used it for 11 days. We became exclusive and deleted our profiles shortly after. Best 30 bucks investment I ever did in my life!! 1
MsSmurf Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Well which site is the best is going to depend on a lot of factors....how many singles are in your area, how good your profile/pics are, etc. I'm in an area with way more single women than men and OLD has been mostly a miss for me. Here are my results: POF plenty of age appropriate guys in my areareceived plenty of messages and profile viewsthe majority of guys I responded to were either married, just wanting to get laid, or in need of a pen palI met a few guys and one turned out to be a psycho and the other 2 were extremely immature OkCupid plenty of age appropriate guys in my areareceived plenty of messages and profile viewsthe majority of guys I responded to just wanted to get laid or in need of a pen palone guy I met ended up being really immature and the other was so boring it just wasn't going to work out Match I was a paid user plenty of age appropriate guys in my areareceived a ton of profile views, but not many messagesthe majority of guys I responded to were in need of a pen palthe one guy I met was nice and he called me for a 2nd date. I wasn't available the night he asked for and he declined another option. Never heard from him again. How About We not enough age appropriate guys in my areavery few profile views and no messages EHarmony Free communication weekend not sure how many age appropriate guys were in my area because there's no way to searchplenty of icebreakersthe restrictive communication and inability to see profiles killed my interest in upgrading Zoosk plenty of age appropriate guys in my arealots of profile views, but no messages Spark not enough age appropriate guys in my areano profile views or messages PerfectMatch not enough age appropriate guys in my areano profile views or messages Chemistry I was a paid user plenty of age appropriate guys in my areaplenty of profile views, but few messagesone guy I met was nice, but after a few dates we had zero romantic chemistry lol. The other guy just wanted to get laid. 2
Kid_Charlemange Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Match - paid for a month. Dated three women. One went to a proto-relationship but we both realized it wasn't right and ended it after six weeks OKC - Paid for the upgrade. Dated 6-8 women (I can't remember off the top of my head). One had relationship potential, but we mutually decided we were better as friends. Still are. Another became (and still is) a FWB. Did eHarmony 10 years ago, when it was still extremely restrictive. Wound up marrying one of the dates, and lost her a few years ago cancer. I can't stand the PoF interface, for some reason. Tinder -- had a few nibbles, haven't met up with anyone except a woman that I'd also met on OKC. 2 dates. She's great, but she's not my type physically. YMMV. 2
Author SpiralOut Posted July 5, 2014 Author Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) Well it depends on the nature of "not having any luck". Not getting messages? Not getting responses to your own messages? Getting too many sex pest messages? Too many pen pals who don't want to meet in real life? Flaky no-shows who stand you up on dates? Chances are, most of these issues can be overcome by changing your profile, or the way you use the site. All dating sites are basically the same, in fact a lot of people have accounts on multiple sites; you won't find a completely different subset of people by switching site. This very thread proves it. So if you use the same tactics, a different site will probably yield the same result. If you want more tips to increase your "luck" (it's actually not much to do with luck!) then you'll need to explain in more detail what issues you're facing. I get lots of messages. I've met plenty of guys. The last few guys I met wanted to keep seeing me but they were really not for me. I don't know if I'm picking the wrong guys, or if the pool I am choosing from is so limited that this is the best I can do. There were maybe 3 guys I met that I liked. However, I didn't like the way they treated me so I stopped seeing them. So the issue is I'm not clicking with any of the guys I'm meeting. I also find on POF that I have to sift through a lot of crap just to find someone who seems normal. It's exhausting. Edited July 5, 2014 by SpiralOut
irc333 Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 To be honest, I don't care for OK Cupid, it's "algorithms" , if you'd like to call it that, matched me up with women probably weighing more than I do. As for the site itself, OKCupid is the best quality. It uses fairly sophisticated algorithms to help you sort prospects using a lot of preference information as revealed through a large number of questions. It's a free site that give you extra features if you pay the fee. There are pros and cons to this. Being free means that people can be on there perpetually, whereas on the paid sites they tend to get tired of paying if they don't have success within a reasonable time. But, when people quit paying the fee (match particularly), the site continues show their profiles even though that person cannot respond. So you end up having no idea who is actually available and which ones are just dead profiles that the site is using as bait to get other people to pay the fee. My preference is more information, more tools for using the information, more people overall, and everyone on the site being able to send and respond to messages freely. So OKC is best by these criteria.
salparadise Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 To be honest, I don't care for OK Cupid, it's "algorithms" , if you'd like to call it that, matched me up with women probably weighing more than I do. Oh, the horror! The algorithm was always nice to me, although not perfect... matched me with hot, younger women who objectified me, made insulting comments about my ass and wanted to get laid. And one of them had emerald green eyes, which I specifically can't deal with because she made me anxious. Yea man, you're right––it just sucks.
Succession Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I get lots of messages. I've met plenty of guys. The last few guys I met wanted to keep seeing me but they were really not for me. I don't know if I'm picking the wrong guys, or if the pool I am choosing from is so limited that this is the best I can do. There were maybe 3 guys I met that I liked. However, I didn't like the way they treated me so I stopped seeing them. So the issue is I'm not clicking with any of the guys I'm meeting. I also find on POF that I have to sift through a lot of crap just to find someone who seems normal. It's exhausting. So, to recap, you're meeting lots of people with potential, but sometimes their feelings for you are unrequited, and other times your feelings for them are unrequited. That's not a dating site problem. That's a human being problem. You need to manage your expectations. Don't get me wrong, I've done a lot of online and offline dating, and share your frustration that it's hard to click with someone. If you like how one another looks, have some similar interests, etc., why is it so hard to have mutual romantic feelings? I don't know the answer, but I do know that it has nothing to do with picking the right website.
MissBee Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I've had the best luck with POF personally. So I guess it's just a matter of trying different ones and seeing what works for you. I wouldn't pay. I've paid for Match and another one that I can't remember and it was awfulf or me. But others have luck, so it really depends.
Author SpiralOut Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 So, to recap, you're meeting lots of people with potential, but sometimes their feelings for you are unrequited, and other times your feelings for them are unrequited. That's not a dating site problem. That's a human being problem. You need to manage your expectations. Don't get me wrong, I've done a lot of online and offline dating, and share your frustration that it's hard to click with someone. If you like how one another looks, have some similar interests, etc., why is it so hard to have mutual romantic feelings? I don't know the answer, but I do know that it has nothing to do with picking the right website. Okay well I thought maybe it was just me not using the right site, or doing something wrong. I know other people who meet someone from OLD and ta-da! They are dating seriously! And here I am getting nowhere. I can't even get past 3 dates.
PegNosePete Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Okay well I thought maybe it was just me not using the right site, or doing something wrong. I know other people who meet someone from OLD and ta-da! They are dating seriously! And here I am getting nowhere. I can't even get past 3 dates. Yes, I didn't really count how many I met but it's over 20, probably closer to 30. Most didn't go past 1st meeting. For my gf, I was the first person she met off there. She was very lucky You can't judge from anyone else's experience. You might get on with the first person you meet, or it might take 30. There's no rules or guarantees. Such is the nature of human interaction. 2
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