Lipitor11 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Everytime I go on facebook I look at some friends facebook or people that I know and the majority of the time its of them posting a picture of their boyfriends/husbands, engagement, wedding photos, etc, etc. Looking at that, gets me down, because I don't even anything close to a boyfriend, not near walking down the aisle anytime soon. Does anyone feel this way? I just need to stop facebooking and get out more. I'm hoping there will be a day when I'm in a relationship and I can post hundreds of pictures with my boyfriend and show the world that I'm happy.
gaius Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Seeing other people doing well, getting married, having kids always makes me happy when I'm single. Unless it's at my expense of course. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Everytime I go on facebook I look at some friends facebook or people that I know and the majority of the time its of them posting a picture of their boyfriends/husbands, engagement, wedding photos, etc, etc. Looking at that, gets me down, because I don't even anything close to a boyfriend, not near walking down the aisle anytime soon. Does anyone feel this way? I just need to stop facebooking and get out more. I'm hoping there will be a day when I'm in a relationship and I can post hundreds of pictures with my boyfriend and show the world that I'm happy. Im no FBer, but.... If I learned anything about this life, its to not give a shyt about what other people are doing and just concern myself with myself and whats important to me and the ones close to me... TFY
notserene Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I always assume that the Facebook version of a person's life is heavily filtered. It's not a good way to figure out how someone is actually feeling. 2
AnneT1985 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I completely agree with notserene. But what you're feeling is so common. Just remember it really is a heavily modified and filtered public "face". Good luck dear! xx
Ordinaryday Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I was reading an article about how people typically (obviously not everyone) only post about the good times happening in their life, all the fun they are supposedly having, etc. they never post about how depressed they are, how they are sitting at home eating pizza and watching sad movies, etc. for example, I have a close friend who recently went through a truly horrible family situation, and I mean HORRIBLE. but you would never know it from looking at his facebook as he never mentioned it on there, and even when it was happening he still kept his post lighthearted and fun. so facebook is not a good way to gauge just how good people's lives are, because they are heavily edited.
Got it Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I think the big question is why do you feel the need to show the world you are happy if/when you have a boyfriend? Why is another person defining you and your happiness. For me, yes facebook gets me down, but it is all the horse threads I follow with all the fantastic horses for sale I can't buy. Maybe change up your facebook followings with other interests and hobby so topics on those ideas are intermingled with all the happy little family postings. Everything in life has a double edge sword so I do not see little mary sunshine and assume it is so. For every happy family picture there is a couple who is fighting all the time but, like what you are posting about, what to show the world another side. 1
PegNosePete Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 No. I am happy that my friends are happy. There are some things that get me down like continual sharing of junk, posting argumentative, preachy or stupid things, online petitions, spam, hoaxes etc. There are a couple of people who I am friends with in RL but whose posts I have removed from my news feeds for those reasons.
Ordinaryday Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 No. I am happy that my friends are happy. Me too... the only time I would be annoyed is when the 'friend' posts passive-aggressive 'happy' updates in order to try and hurt you.... like a few years ago after I broke up with a girl I foolishly kept her as a facebook friend for awhile but she started posting updates to get at me, things like "OMG!!!! I just LOVE my new bf!!! best bf EVER!!!! :)" But it was no issue cos she got blocked straight after that. 2
Targetlock Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 yeah i'm happy for my friends though slightly envious of their good fortune looking forward to my turn!
Frank2thepoint Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I'm hoping there will be a day when I'm in a relationship and I can post hundreds of pictures with my boyfriend and show the world that I'm happy. How about hoping for a day when you stop looking at Facebook, comparing your life to others, and just be happy with yourself? 1
Emilia Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I'm pretty fussy about who is on my facebook list so I'm usually happy to read what's up with them. They also aren't the type who are so insecure that they post with external validation in mind. So no, other people's facebook doesn't get me down. But then I don't have superficial friends.
acrosstheuniverse Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 No, I actually tend to feel when I see couples posting tonnes of couple statuses and pics that they come across like they're overcompensating or something. I might be in the odd pic someone posts of me and my bf or tag him when we check in someplace together but that's it, I would feel so weird constantly bragging online about something that could evaporate at any moment. Very often some of these people are quite jealous and insecure and like to show others either that their partner is taken (back off!) or that they managed to snag a partner (self-esteem). Even when I'm single it doesn't bother me at all. In fact I think I've deleted people that post nothing but stuff about their relationship, it gets boring and makes me wonder what else they've achieved of late that doesn't revolve around another person. It's nice to see people posting about their achievements, their successes, their goals, their dreams, rather than just about a relationship. I'm far more impressed to see a 'just graduated!' or 'just landed the best job ever!' post than a 'omg I love my boyfriend' post.
MissBee Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 No. I do understand though feeling like everyone's life is "happy" or they have things you don't have, but generally I try not to allow that to get me down. You don't know what people's lives are really like just by looking on FB and there is a time for everything for everyone. I have a boyfriend now, but last year I didn't. My life was no less happy. He just adds to it. I learned to be happy with where I'm at currently and if I see people with stuff I aspire to, it often gives me hope and inspiration instead of making me sad. I think that attitude helps a lot...being sad, jealous, covetous etc. adds nothing to your life. If I saw people getting married, engaged, having babies and they seemed genuinely happy I was happy for them and took it as inspiration and eventually I got into a relationship too. I think that's a much healthier attitude than believing that everything is happening for everyone but you or being sad by other people's happiness.
kodakgirl Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Not really.... Even though I've never been romantically successful, I am a romantic and I love love, I think it's beautiful and special, and seeing people who are really in love makes me go awwwwwwww and feel happy love is a thing in the world, even if I never have it.
pink_sugar Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 What gets me down isn't people posting wedding pictures or baby pictures....it's people posting a ton of pictures while on their fancy vacation the rest of us cannot afford. TBH, take a break from your phone and enjoy your vacation! You have plenty of time to post all about it when you get home. There's no need for a day by day or hour by hour of where you are.
me85 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) No, it doesn't bother me, because... You can be whoever you want to be on facebook. It's such a front. I will post songs to fit my mood. Not usually anything too personal. But I have been known to post pictures of normal boring things I'm doing. Why be fake? Not me. Sorry. I don't feel the need to post constantly either by any means, though when I first got on I was obsessed. lol I had a problem with having to look at FB all the time. A lot of people on FB are annoying. They post literally everything they're doing. STOP! I post both the good and the not so good. I'm not exposing myself completely or anything. For example, I've posted pictures of take-out, redbox movies and a bottle of wine saying, "Well, if I'm going to be single I might as well live it up! lol" letting people know I'm lame by not going out and partying but staying home alone entertaining myself. Of course I won't come right out and say, "My last RS sucked balls. I feel like a complete failure and not good enough for anyone or anything!!" but I'll say things that hint around personal feelings and views. I try to keep it classy San Diego. Edited July 2, 2014 by me85 1
carrie_o Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I don't mind the relationship posts. I think it's sweet for the couple but definitely not something I would do. I get jealous at all the travel pictures though. I want to travel more but it is just not financially possible right now. One day... 1
normal person Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I'm hoping there will be a day when I'm in a relationship and I can post hundreds of pictures with my boyfriend and show the world that I'm happy. I'm not trying to be jerk, but don't you think this is a bit odd? "I need a boyfriend and I need to post about it on Facebook?" I get the boyfriend part, but surely you can divorce the two from each other? Why are you so dependent on external validation? Who cares about Facebook? Why do people post things on Facebook? Do you think anyone pays that much attention?Just food for thought, y'know?
Medium.Lumo Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 No. Because I know people who have terrible relationships in reality but their Facebook's are always lovey dovey. It just isn't reality. I don't really buy it. 2
xxmusical Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 What gets me down isn't people posting wedding pictures or baby pictures....it's people posting a ton of pictures while on their fancy vacation the rest of us cannot afford. TBH, take a break from your phone and enjoy your vacation! You have plenty of time to post all about it when you get home. There's no need for a day by day or hour by hour of where you are. Hehe same here. Especially those who seem to have the money to go on exotic vacays all year round. 1
haribogumsnickers Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Right night as you read my post, delete/deactivate/destroy your facebook account now. I've said this before and what more than a better time to do it justice: fb =evil. I've replaced my fb with mfc. Jk.
FortunateSon Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Facebook is truly a personal PR tool, a lot of self marketing to portray an image. In my experience the people who post the most often, especially about how great their lives/relationships are, tend to be least happy/most narcissistic in reality. If you are really that happy and secure with yourself, you are probably not posting every "happy" detail about your life. 2
Always Pondering Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I don't mind the relationship posts. I think it's sweet for the couple but definitely not something I would do. I get jealous at all the travel pictures though. I want to travel more but it is just not financially possible right now. One day... Tell me about it. Just about a week ago, one of my friends returned from a year-long trip to France and he posted all these great photos (he's a photographer), even a well-edited video. To OP, Facebook doesn't bother me. I only use Facebook as a communication tool actually for those I cannot reach with a cell phone for whatever reason. The statuses do not bother me and neither do the relationship updates. Then again I do not compare myself to others so I wouldn't expect Facebook or any other social media to be an issue.
mario_C Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 You can block individual posts that annoy you, or unfollow the person/members if they are consistently annoying. Click on the top right corner, the little arrow pointing down, and select wisely. They will still appear in the sidebar activity feed, so you can look in and see if they are still being obnoxious. There's also unfriending, which I reserve for the truly awful offenders; use your Friend list to do that. Yes, one girl I asked out just got married and another just came back from Italy with the man who cockblocked me for her. Life sucks, kids!
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