jinjin113 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) I posted last Tuesday on here about a near break up that my bf and I had on 6/19. Skip to the bottom (The Question part) if you read that post. Background about us: I'm 32, my bf is 31. We both have kids from previous relationships that we have majority custody of. We've been exclusive since January. Basically, we had some stress factors in our relationship and on 6/19 he said he wanted to break up with me (which really saddened me) because he thinks keeping up the relationship is too stressful on both of us. From what he was saying (he wanted to try to make it work again once he moved, he still wanted to see me), it seemed to me that he didn't necessarily want a real break up. I told him that I love him and suggested that we don't put so much pressure on seeing each other 2-3 times a week like we were doing until things change (we live 1 hour apart and have busy lives/a lot of responsibility since we both have kids, he's studying for an exam for work, etc). He agreed he would like to do that instead of breaking up and didn't suggest it himself because he didn't think I would be ok seeing him less. By things changing, I mean when his exam is done (5 months) or when he moves closer to me (10 months away). So, we stayed together. Since then, I've been feeling insecure that he would try breaking up with me again. I'm not really sure how he is feeling. We have only seen each other once (6/21) since the near break up. I have no problem seeing each other less in the future when things have normalized, but I just feel unsettled until we spend some more time together post near break up to assure myself things feel ok/right again. Ok, The Question: Last Thursday (6/26), without any prodding from me, he suggested we get away for the 4th of July weekend. Both of our kids are with the other parent (rare enough on its own, but even more rare that it coincided timing wise). This would be our second out of town weekend together (first one was in Feb). I was thrilled and for a couple of days, it relieved my insecurity. However, over this past weekend he became a lot less responsive (communication wise) than usual. I was supposed to go see him Saturday night, but he said he was sick (started getting sick Thursday) and thought it would be best for me not to come. I talked to him over the phone and he legitimately sounded sick. I offered to go see him last night, but said he promised his son he’d do something with him, since he was sick all weekend and was still feeling a little sick. He said he went to the doctor today and the doctor said he has laryngitis that turned into a bad cold. My issue is, when things were normal, we would always text good morning and good night to each other, exchange a couple of texts every 3-4 hours throughout the day, etc. Ever since Saturday, I get just 3-4 texts total (not exchanges) from him a day, no good night texts or responses to mine if I send them (saying he fell asleep), and he hasn’t taken me up on coming over. Granted, he is sick. Today, I have gotten only one brief text from him (I've sent two). Ever since the near break up, I’ve been careful not to smother him and have tried to kick back, so I mostly let him initiate communication, but I’m also careful to be warm in my responses. Even with the lessened communication, we still tell each other I love you. He mentioned yesterday that he’s looking forward to our trip this weekend. I’m wondering: do you think he sounds like he’s still interested in being in the relationship? Is he sending mixed signals, or is he just busy and sick? I really just can’t wait to see him this weekend and see how things feel. When I see him Friday, it will have been almost 2 weeks since we last saw each other. Thanks for reading all of this and for your help. Edited July 1, 2014 by jinjin113
Recommended Posts