nooney Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I am not sure what to do. I've been miserable the past few months because of a crush I've had on a guy at work who is engaged to someone in another state. I have avoided him most of the time and tried to play it cool, but it's really hard. I've been attracted to him from the moment I first saw him. You know, the irrational butterflies in the stomach, etc. I literally can't help it, and nothing I do makes it go away. It pisses me off that he has so much control over me! I finally received a transfer to a completely opposite shift than him, and I found out the next day that he is being transferred to that shift too! I actually requested my transfer, but he was forcibly transferred for business need. I tried to get away from him, and I thought this was my chance. Now I'm back to being miserable again. I could go back to the old shift, but I've been trying to get off of that shift for almost a year. I'm just hoping he quits soon because I heard a rumor that he might move to the same state as his fiance after he gets married. What can I possibly do? I do not want to quit my job!
Elle1975 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I would suggest dating, outside of work. That will help; you will focus your attention on someone else. 1
carrie_o Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I would suggest dating, outside of work. That will help; you will focus your attention on someone else. I agree with Elle. It is usually better to date outside of work anyway. Break ups are much less messy that way. 1
Author nooney Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Thanks for the replies. I've tried to focus on other people, but I'm constantly reminded of how intense my attraction is to this other person when I see him at work. It's distracting! I've thought about actually trying to get to know him better, rather than avoid him. People say that you create a fantasy about the person you are crushing on, so I thought I might realize he is an idiot. I'm afraid I might accidentally start to like him more, so I've avoided that option.
preraph Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I had to work with an ex I loved for 10 years through his marriages and breakups. It was really hard. I don't recommend it. Like you, I kind of got stuck. I went to work for the company he was at (we had parallel careers at rival companies) but he was at the corporate office and I applied for and was hired for retail, but the owner had picked my brain about a inventory system and I told him I could set it up for him in just about three weeks. So I was only supposed to be there for 3 weeks and then go to retail. And then the ex told the owner he wanted me for his assistant and it was too good of an opportunity to turn down, but I do wonder if I'd been happier overall and probably met more guys out at retail instead of staying there mired in that. It's one of those road not taken deals. You need to just focus on going out with friends right now and hope you meet someone else.
Author nooney Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 I had to work with an ex I loved for 10 years through his marriages and breakups. It was really hard. I don't recommend it. Like you, I kind of got stuck. That is really difficult! I know this guy won't be around for the next 10 years, but it sucks that I'm waiting for him to leave to make everything better. Hopefully, it will only be a couple of months.
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 In your head try to see him as a celebrity crush -- great to look at but not a realistic possibility. Since he's engaged you have to get over this. Try looking for another job.
Diezel Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Get it together. He's engaged. All you have is a crush with an idea of someone who probably doesn't even really exist. Try dating harder.
Recommended Posts