Author mortensorchid Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 @SJC2008 - Agreed. But how was I supposed to know there was a Starbucks inside the Target? It was just a big fail.
SpiralOut Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 It seems a bit odd that he didn't answer the text messages. She waited 20 minutes - that's a reasonable amount of time to wait. Even if he didn't get them right away, he texted her one hour later, which means that he should have seen the messages then. He should have known that she wasn't able to find the place, yet he acted like he didn't know anything. He also should have noticed her number on his phone from when she tried to call him. I find it odd that he would wait so long to contact her. 1 hour and 20 minutes is a long time to wait for someone without trying to make any contact. Either something is wrong with this guys phone, or he was messing with you OP. 1
ascendotum Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I think a coffee date is fine. But a Starbucks INSIDE a Target...I agree with Carrie that it seems low class.... To me that date would have been a turn off, and indicated a lack of care. But that's me. I'm sure it's right for some women, and they're who that's going to attract. I've read articles directed at women that say go for a coffee shop meet. It suits a lot women. The main reason being, if she knows in 5 minutes the guy is not her type or not quite what he appeared to be in print, or is boring, then she can legitimately only spend 20-30 minutes in his company, and after they knock down the coffee they can mention some other appt they have to leave for since they only intended to have a chat over a coffee. I agree its an uninspiring cliche date idea, but lots of people who are jaded from dud dates just want a quick initial face to face meet rather than a full on date, so they can exit quick if it suits them and at minimal time + $.
lollipopspot Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I've read articles directed at women that say go for a coffee shop meet. It suits a lot women. The main reason being, if she knows in 5 minutes the guy is not her type or not quite what he appeared to be in print, or is boring, then she can legitimately only spend 20-30 minutes in his company, and after they knock down the coffee they can mention some other appt they have to leave for since they only intended to have a chat over a coffee. I agree its an uninspiring cliche date idea, but lots of people who are jaded from dud dates just want a quick initial face to face meet rather than a full on date, so they can exit quick if it suits them and at minimal time + $. I agree with you. I just don't like the Target date. They're not really separate from the store and generally placed right next to the Target cashier stations on the way out. I think that's not a great atmosphere.
TigerLilly78 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 wouldn't one want it to be somewhere with the potential for seduction and a continuation of the date? I just don't see how that is possible in a Target. I see you have never been in their bedding department...lol Nothing wrong with coffee in Starbucks on a 1st meet up why he picked one in a target I don't know especially since there were more around...
gaius Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Maybe he didn't know it was in the target until he got there. Sometimes you don't get great phone reception in big stores either. Maybe just an unfortunate set of circumstances. 2
KathyM Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Coffee at Target is a pretty lame date. Kind of like lunch at McDonalds. I can understand why men don't want to spend much on a date with someone they've never met before, in case they find they are not attracted enough to continue to date the person, but coffee at Target? That's just lame. And the fact that he wasn't reachable by phone so you could find out where he actually was, and ended up having to go home, that's just even more lame. Doesn't sound like you missed much by not meeting this guy.
Baller25 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) To me, a guy who suggested Starbucks (or similar ilk) would probably not have the joie de vivre for life and adventure that I have. It is as simple as that. No offense, but any guy that makes a huge effort on the very first date/meetup probably isn't very successful with women, which is why he needs to make the effort to compensate. I know because I was that guy many years ago . Things are so flaky these days that it's best to keep it low key at the start. There have been so many times where I asked a girl to dinner for the first date only to end up regretting it before we even sat down at the table, or when she took her coat off, or even when I first glanced at her outside the entrance. I'm sure the opposite was also true. Second dates (or for me the first real date) is a different story and is probably what you're talking about I think a coffee date is fine. But a Starbucks INSIDE a Target...I agree with Carrie that it seems low class. It's interesting that most guys here find nothing wrong with it, and don't see the issue, but most women do. It's not about the money either. A coffee at a Target Starbucks costs the same as at a free-standing one or at a little independent coffee shop. The atmosphere inside a Target though is not conducive to creating attraction. To me that date would have been a turn off, and indicated a lack of care. But that's me. I'm sure it's right for some women, and they're who that's going to attract. OP said is was a mistake — he googled it and didn't realize that it was in a Target. The starbucks website is very commercial about the address, as in 'unit 3e, xxx building' rather than 'unit 3 located inside target, xxx building'. He's obviously not very outgoing which is why he accidentally picked one in a bad location, but that shouldn't be a reason to stand him up. What's wrong with meeting in Starbucks, the mall, or even Burger King? It's not an official date, just a meet and greet. Boy you ladies need to lighten up. Although I agree, I disagree about the Burger King. How can you keep it romantic next to kids around and the smell of that cancer bread in the air. Coffee at Target is a pretty lame date. Why because of the guy or the activity? I thought relationships were about companionship not the activity. Edited July 2, 2014 by Baller25 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 My advice is only as good as your dating picks goes - POF? Aahahahahaa... Good luck with that! As I said, 30+ meet and greets in less than 4 months and not one flake. Choose your dates better and stop meeting anyone that shows interest! Coffee dates suck - end of story. With all do respect, I'm not sure this is something to brag about. And if you feel like you need to include alcohol on all your meet and greets, perhaps there are other issues that need to be dealt with other than the date 2
Diezel Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 A first meeting at a Starbucks is enough to run away. Zero creativity and you get to allow 20 strangers listen in on your date - awesome! Maybe he dodged the bullet.
Keenly Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 It didn't happen for whatever reason. Probably best to just let it be. Now we are just making stuff up so we don't have to accept blame. It didn't happen because you walked out and stood him up.
TigerLilly78 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I think the entire meet up was hastily planed and porely executed not really eathers fault they should have been more concrete on the place and time! I think once the guy was in the target he lost reception hence not getting the messages. The OP should have gone into the target as it was the exact address but she didn't so there was failures on both ends. In a way she did stand him up but not on purpose? ide hope not. Yeah mass communication failures they were prob not a fab match if that's already happening and its only the 1st meet.. 2
Anela Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Now we are just making stuff up so we don't have to accept blame. It didn't happen because you walked out and stood him up. He didn't tell her where the Starbucks was. She went home, thinking she had been stood up.
TigerLilly78 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 With all do respect, I'm not sure this is something to brag about. And if you feel like you need to include alcohol on all your meet and greets, perhaps there are other issues that need to be dealt with other than the date Apparently mass multi dating is the way to find the love of your life these days ether that or a nice raging case of herpes im not to sure witch ...lmao 2
Fondue Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 This reeks of poor self confidence issues. The guy probably doesn't date. Or if he does, he was always very unsuccessful. He probably chose "Starbucks" because that was a convenient, "hip" thing to do as a casual meetup. Then he sweat balls when you pointed out there were several in the area. He didn't consider this part. Panicked. (Embarrassingly) texted you coordinates which were iffy. He was shy about all this and decided to "wait" you out until you left. He definitely didn't miss your call. He just screened it. I honestly lost it when you mentioned there were multple Starbucks' in the area .
Author mortensorchid Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 And never heard from him again after that thwarted attempt. It was all pretty lame to begin with. I felt like I was being blown off, it was poorly planned on his part, and how was I supposed to know that there was a Starbucks inside of a giant retail center like a Target? Obviously it wasn't meant to be. Life goes on. 1
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